


I Speak Because I Can

by FivePips, jennandblitz



Series: Rock 'n' Pole [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Arguments, Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Genderfluid Character, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, No Age Play, Other, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Rope Bondage, asexual!Remus, genderfluid!Sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22738789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandblitz/pseuds/jennandblitz
Summary: After another run-in with Fenrir, Remus decides to finally do something about him. It leads to a resurgence of emotions, but Sirius, Teddy, and everyone else is there as always.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Rock 'n' Pole [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452979
Comments: 130
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THE TAGS! Remus is very emotional in this fic and there's a lot talked about that might be triggers. There will be happy times in the fic though, we promise along with a smutty/happy ending. If we have missed something in the tags let us know!
> 
> This is the last long fic. The rest will be one shots that vary in length/topic.

Sirius hoisted Teddy onto their hip as they walked through the doors of PureFit. Remus was at work this evening, and they and Teddy were planning to meet him after to go for dinner with Hope and Richard. 

The reception was fairly busy as they weaved their way through towards the climbing area, looking for Remus, Gideon or Fabian. Teddy was cooing away in their arms, trying to pull on the braid in their hair. 

“Ah, if it isn’t the Tedster!” Gideon was at the desk and threw his hands up when he saw Sirius and Teddy. “How are we?”

Sirius chuckled as Teddy gave a little squeal. “Hey Gid, we’re good. Aren’t we Teds?”

“Hey mate, all right.” He laughed at Teddy’s squeal. “He’s getting bigger every time I see him, I swear!”

Teddy let out a loud babble then hugged Sirius’ neck.

Abruptly the doors flew open and Remus trailed in looking murderous. The reason for that came only a second later when fucking  _ Fenrir _ was right beind him. “I’ve told you multiple times to fuck off and not come here,” he said without turning around, softening slightly when he saw Teddy and Sirius.

“You don’t even want to give me a lesson?”

“You don’t need a lesson in climbing. In how to be a good fucking person, maybe.” Remus snapped, coming right over to Sirius, not looking at Fenrir.

“Hi caro,” Sirius breathed before glaring over his shoulder to Fenrir. “Did you not hear Remus? Fuck off.”

“Hi my pearl. Hi annwyl.” Remus held his hands out to Teddy. Teddy squealed and reached out for Remus. Sirius gladly handed him over then turned to Fenrir, who was watching with a bemused smile.

“Sorry, did you not fucking hear me? Fuck off.”

“Look, mate, I’m just trying to catch up with Re. I thought a climb might be nice. It’s been awhile. Apparently a lot to catch up on.” Fenrir gestured to Teddy.

“Fuck off, far away, and don’t even look at my child,” Remus practically growled.

Sirius quickly stepped between Remus and Fenrir, crossing their arms. They were in heels today, so they felt tall and intimidating. “You have nothing to catch up on, and you are not climbing in this whole arena, never mind with my husband,” they hissed, feeling far more protective than usual. 

“Really, didn’t we say the last time you saw your face here we’d call the cops?” Gid piped up.

“You’re lucky I never pressed any charges against you before.” Remus put a hand on Sirius’ back.

Fenrir looked to Remus. “You would’ve done it by now, if you were going to.”

Remus made a noise. “ _ Oh _ , so you realized you actually did something wrong? I think I might faint.”

Sirius clenched their teeth. God they were so happy Remus was standing up to him more and not just falling apart but their blood was boiling at Fenrir being here, especially with  _ Teddy _ here. “Am I fucking invisible? Because I’m talking to you, and you’re just ignoring me and hassling my husband and that’s  _ never _ a good combination, Fenrir.”

“Come on, Re, let’s just set up a time to eat. We can talk everything out.”

“My  _ spouse _ just asked you a question.” Remus insisted.

“Look, we can chat and get a drink. Smooth it all over, whatever you think happened.”

“THINK HAPPENED?” Remus shouted then Teddy started to cry. “Fuck you. I’m sorry Teddy, sorry, love.” His voice softened and Sirius felt him move away.

_ Whatever you think happened _ . 

Fenrir’s words echoed in Sirius’ head as they stepped forward, their heart hurting with Remus shouting too but god they were so  _ angry _ . They didn’t even  _ think _ before they just punched him square in the nose.

“Sirius!” Remus’ hand was back on their shoulder.

“Whoops! Oh no, I’m sorry that something fell and hit you in the face. That shoe was --- flying. Let’s go, I’ll show you out!” Gideon hopped over the front desk.

Sirius barely even  _ heard _ Gideon, going to pull their shoulder out of Remus’ grip. “I swear to god, if you even look at my husband again I will --”

Fenrir growled, his hand pressed over his bloody nose. “Did you just fucking punch me, you tra--”

“Gideon hold my child so I can fucking--”

“NOPE! You, you arsehole, you’re leaving.” Gideon put a hand on Fenrir’s arm, who shook him off, not moving.

“Try me,” Fenrir said.

Sirius started back for Fenrir again, not caring their knuckles were hurting because they were  _ seething _ .

“Please someone take my son so I can  _ finally  _ give you something you deserve.” Remus pleaded as the doors behind them opened again.

“Not fucking you,” Dorcas complained.

“Dorcas, hold Teddy whilst Remus and I kick this arsehole into a bloody pulp,” Sirius said, following behind Gideon as he dragged Fenrir out.

“As much as I would fucking like that I don’t want either of you to go to jail tonight. Slow the fuck down. It’s okay.” Dorcas’ voice was stern as Fenrir tried to shrug Gideon off again.

Sirius paused, hearing the Dom in Dorcas’ voice and understanding for a moment why Marlene listened to her. “Get him out of here,” they said, snapping back to reality for a moment and grabbing Remus by the arm.

“I could go to jail tonight. It’s fine. I don’t have to work tomorrow.” Remus tried to move forward as Dorcas went to help Gideon.

“Remus, think logically,” Dorcas shot him a look. “This piece of shit isn’t worth it.”

Sirius turned on the spot, trying to block Fenrir from Remus’ sight and putting a hand on Teddy’s back. “Caro, hey. Don’t give him the time of day.”

“It’d feel really fucking good.”

“I know it would. I know. I want to kick his fucking head in for speaking to you like that, but I reckon Dorcas will do something similar.” They bit their lip, glancing down at Teddy, who was looking up at Remus. “Daddy, stop.”

Remus stepped forward but stopped. “I just want…”

“Teddy and me need you here.”

“I just want to make him hurt like I did,” he whispered.

Sirius bit their lip, all their residual anger slipping away. “I know. You’re better than him though.”

Remus took a deep breath and rubbed Teddy’s back. “I think we need to go home. I’m not sure I can stomach dinner.”

“Okay. I’ll text your mam.” Sirius peered at him, concerned. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus finally looked to Sirius. “Let’s go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

Glancing over at Sirius as they walked back to the carpark, holding Teddy close, Remus felt all the same old emotions he did with Fenrir. How could Fenrir keep showing his face? It didn’t make any sense at all for him to be popping up and trying to tear into their lives. Remus was so happy now, he didn’t want a thing to do with the past when he was at his lowest.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked Sirius as he got Teddy into his carseat.

Sirius sighed, watching Remus. “I’m fucking furious, and I’m so sad for you.”

“Don’t be sad, please.” He kissed Teddy’s forehead then hopped out of the car. “Anger’s better.”

“I’d prefer neither, really. I haven’t punched anyone since University.”

“It was a good punch.” Remus gently wrapped his hand around their wrist. “How’s the hand?”

“A bit sore? Fine though. I bet his nose hurts more.” Sirius sighed. “I’m so sorry he was here.”

Remus brought their hand up and kissed the red knuckles softly. “I’m sorry he was here too. Let’s go home, princess.”

“When he looked at Teddy I actually wanted to murder him.” Sirius sighed softly. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

“I saw red. I swear, if I wasn't holding Teddy I would probably be carted off to jail at the moment.” Remus kissed them on the forehead then opened the passenger door.

“I’m very glad you’re not in jail.” Sirius got into the car, turning to him and kissing him softly.

Remus nodded, happy he wasn’t either. He closed the door for them then went to the driver’s side. Sirius put on their current favorite playlist to play for Teddy. It had a lot of folk songs and some classics from various genres. “We’ll order something in?” He asked as they turned down a street not too far from home.

“Yeah. I’m gonna call your mam quick. Speakerphone or no?”

“Oh right… a no on the speakerphone.” He shook his head, not wanting to hear if she was upset.

“Okay.” Sirius leaned over and squeezed his knee. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus smiled, letting out a sigh at the touch.

Soon enough they pulled into the driveway. Once he got out of the car, he went around to get Teddy out of his carseat. “I know, it was a scary day. I’m sorry.” Remus held his son close as he shut the door. “Don’t worry, that mean man won’t touch you. We got you.”

Sirius gave him a smile as they got out, going ahead to unlock the door.

“We’ll see Snuffles and he’ll protect us then you can eat.” Remus followed Sirius into the house as Teddy babbled away.

Snuffles came running over, sniffling Remus and then stretching up a bit to sniff Teddy’s foot. Before they could react though, Sirius must’ve opened the door to the garden because Snuffles shot back through the house with a scuffle of claws.

Teddy giggled.

“I know, silly puppy.” Remus went into the living room. “You know I’d do anything to protect you, right? Anything, even if it’s really scary for me.” He sat down on the sofa and kicked off his shoes. 

After it all he had a bit of a headache, so he figured that he have a lie down and a cuddle with Teddy until Sirius came back in. Thankfully Teddy rested against his chest instead of wiggling away as he tried to usually do now because he was so active. Remus hoped that he didn’t do anything to traumatize his son in the moment, but he was so scared and just so done with Fenrir and his bullshit.

Snuffles ran back into the living room, quickly followed by Sirius. “Oh god look at you two, my heart…” They crossed over, dropping a kiss on Remus’ forehead. “Your mam sends her love.”

“Mmm, thank you. She’s not going to come over here in a panic is she?” He snickered, looking up at Sirius.

“I managed to talk her down,” Sirius said, looking very serious for a moment. “She very nearly did. She also said they can drop by some takeout from the place we were going to eat and not stay.”

“Yeah, as long as it’s just dropped off, that’d be nice. I don’t need her fretting. I know she means well, but…” Remus sighed. “Plus, I was looking forward to that place.”

“I know. The burgers are the best, right?” Sirius sat next to him, reaching over to stroke Teddy’s hair. “I’ll text her.”

“Yeah, I love their bacon cheddar one. Sweet potato fries. No tomato.” Remus smiled softly at them. “Doesn’t that sound good, Teddy?”

Teddy made a little noise. “Ba-ba-bah!”

“Exactly, little one,” Sirius said, chuckling. 

“You should ice your hand, love.”

“Yeah, I should.” They sat for a moment longer before they stood up with a sigh, heading through to the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” Remus questioned as he shuffled to sit up then moved to go put Teddy on his playmat.

“Yeah. I’m just mad for you.” Sirius’ voice was a little quiet, they were probably rummaging through the freezer.

“I know you are.” Remus sat on the ground next to his son. “I’m mad too and sad.”

Sirius padded back into the living room with an ice pack wrapped in a towel around their hand. “Me too. If he shows his face again I think everyone at PureFit will kick it in.”

“Do you think I should have pressed charges against him?” Remus furrowed his brow.

“I…” Sirius paused. “You  _ could. _ There’s no time limit on the charges, you know? But it means you’d need to go and talk to the police and make statements and I don’t want you to go through that if you’re not good for it.”

Remus bit his lip, scrubbing a hand over his face. “What do you think I’d have to do?”

“Probably recount it all, I’d think? You know… talk them through it?”

“Do you think they could even find him guilty… there’s probably no evidence, right?”

“There’s your word against his... did you tell anyone at the time? Even just like… obviously not the word specifically, but broadly?” Sirius sat next to him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Because they could talk about it too.”

“Alice… I wrote about it in my journal.” Remus leaned against them. “My mam and Peter too.”

“That’s four of you and your journal against him. I’m no lawyer but that’s got to count for something?”

Remus nodded, closing his eyes. “I just want him to get some bloody justice. I mean he’s still harassing me. Gid and Fab have seen it at work today and that time before.”

“I know, me too.” Sirius paused. “You can do it, if you want. I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“I really want to do it.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I do.”

“Okay. I’ll be here for you every step of the way,” they replied, kissing Remus’ temple. He heard Teddy gurgle in agreement.

He was going to really do this. He said he’d protect Teddy no matter how scared he was. There was nothing he would do to stop Fenrir from even looking at Teddy again.


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius was nervous. It was entirely stupid because it was  _ Remus _ who should be nervous, but Sirius couldn’t sit down. Today, Remus was due to go to the police station to talk about his charges against Fenrir. He was sat at the kitchen table whilst Sirius made more coffee, with all of his old journals open around him.

“What did you find, caro?”

“ _ Sometimes I wonder why I can’t just say yes to begin with. Wanting to have sex with your boyfriend is normal, but I don’t want to too often. Fen doesn’t give up and take no for an answer, so it’s easier to just say yes. _ ” Remus looked up from the open page. “Well, that’s certainly something.”

Sirius crossed over and put their hand on his shoulder. They could feel their heart racing and beating in their throat. They were so,  _ so _ angry that Fenrir could have done that to Remus. Their wonderful, loving, sexy as all hell husband didn’t deserve any of that. “I’m so sorry, caro. That’s… ugh. I’m glad you’re going to the police.”

“I never thought that it would be something that I could do. Not that I haven’t known for what… two years now that he raped me? I just didn’t think that it was realistic because it’s all just hearsay in my mind.” Remus shrugged. “And it’s been years.”

“I know, but he deserves to get punished for it… and not the fun kind. He deserves to rot in hell for it, Remus. You have so much evidence just in your journals, never mind your mam, Alice or Peter.” Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of his head, wrapping their arms around his shoulders.

“I don’t… it doesn’t feel real, like I’m actually doing this.”

“I know. It’s understandable. You never thought it was even possible, but it is. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

“I know.” Remus reached over and pushed some yogurt melts closer to Teddy on his high chair. “It’s going to be hard, isn’t it?”

Teddy squealed in response before Sirius could say anything. They laughed, resting their chin on the top of his head. “It is… it’s going to be really hard, but we can do it.”

“If it weren’t for you then I wouldn’t be able to do anything with this. I’d be a complete mess, as always.” Remus leaned into them.

“Yeah, well we’d both be in a total mess without each other,” Sirius murmured, squeezing their arms around him. “I’m here for you.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too caro.”

“Daaaaaa-ah!” Teddy squealed, throwing yoghurt melts across the table.

Remus laughed and shook his head. “Yes, I love you too annwyl. Those are meant to be in your mouth, not on the ground.”

Sirius laughed, going over to scoop some of them up to throw them away. “Don’t you like these ones, piccolino?”

“NO!” Though, that could mean yes. Teddy’s answer for everything tended to be no lately.

Sirius snickered, glancing over the journals. “That’s what Teddy thinks of all this, eh?”

“Me too Ted, huh.” Remus laughed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Don’t worry, we’ll get rid of the mean scary man, huh?” He smiled at Teddy.

“Exactly. Dada and Pada will look after you, Teddy. Pada will look after Dada, too.”

Remus smiled up at them. “I might need a lot of looking after. Normally I look after you.”

“I know. I can look after you though, Daddy. I want to.” Sirius ducked their head and kissed him softly. “We have time for lunch, if you think you could stomach something?”

“Thank you princess.” Remus kissed them back. “We can do lunch, yeah. Something not too hard on the stomach I guess.”

“We have leftover salad, I’ll sort that out.” Sirius straightened up, padding over to the fridge. “Are you going to take the journals with you?”

“I am, yeah.” He picked up another one. “I wrote a lot about it.”

“Of course you did, it was your damn life for two years. I--” Sirius cut themselves off, sighing. 

“What?” Remus furrowed his brow. “What is it?”

“I’m just getting angry about it, and I don’t want to be angry, I want to support you.”

“You can be angry and supportive. I’m angry.”

“Okay, okay.” Sirius went back to the table with two bowls of salad, setting one in front of Remus. “Anything else you’ve found?”

“ _ It was Fen’s birthday so I had to give him a blow job. Had to. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, as usual. If he waited a day or two, maybe I would have wanted to. I told Alice about it, in not so many words and she got angry. At this point it’s better to just not tell anyone about what Fenrir and I get up to. I barely talk to Mam because last time she got so mad and said she was going to come down here and find out what was really happening.” _

Sirius clenched their teeth, letting out a slow breath. “ _ Had to _ .”

“Had to.” Remus repeated, drumming his fingers. “Felt like I had to.”

“I fucking  _ hate _ that, Remus. I hate it so much. Damn right Alice and your mam were fucking angry because I am livid and I know it was  _ years _ ago. He made you do all of this shit, fucking  _ hell _ .”

“It’s crazy to me sometimes that I just went along with it. I never thought I could be so easily manipulated, you know?” Remus watched them.

“You always feel so sturdy to me, you’re stubborn as all shit, you know? And yet he just… he just got you to think you were worth so little your own comfort and feelings and self-respect didn’t matter?” Sirius shook their head, feeling an awful mix of sad and angry.

“I’ve always been stubborn as shit. I don’t know, I think I may have been so stubborn that I thought that if I just pushed on, it’d be okay.”

“That’s very typical Remus Lupin, hm?” Sirius sighed, leaning their elbows on the table. “He’ll get what he deserves.”

“It’s very much my brand.” He snickered. “I hope he does. That lawyer we spoke with, she said that there’s a good chance, right?”

“She did. You have all this evidence, and especially if they go talk to who you spoke to.” Sirius bit their lip, sighing. “We’ll make him pay.”

“Ah, yeah we will. I can’t stand to see him anymore. He thinks he’s so important and invincible.” Remus flipped through the journal he was holding.

“He doesn’t think you’re as strong as you are. He won’t expect it, and you can prove him wrong.”

“No, he thinks that I’m weak because that’s all I showed him for a while.”

Sirius shook their head, disbelieving. “Caro, you are anything but weak.”

“I know, if i were then I wouldn’t have made it this far, eh?”

“I know.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek. “We should leave soon?”

“Salad first. God knows how long I’ll be in there.” Remus kissed them on the temple.

They gestured with their fork, spearing a bit of lettuce. “True. Eat up, then.”

Remus grabbed his fork and finally shoved some food into his mouth. He looked like he was deep in thought, as he had been recently. Since Remus decided he was going to be pressing charges, he was in his head a lot. Though, he was talking a lot about it as well. It was just like he was turning it all over in his mind first.

Sirius watched him for a long moment. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Mmm, he doesn’t even know that I’m doing this. I wish that I could see his reaction with it all comes to a head, you know?”

“Me too. Like a hidden camera, you know?” Sirius smiled softly. 

Remus let out a snort. “God, I can just see his face.”

“Yeah? A great mix of surprised, shocked, disgusted and fucked?”

“He’ll probably not believe it.”

“I can’t wait for you to put him in his place,” Sirius said, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“God me too.” Remus groaned then kissed them again.

“DADA! PADA!” Teddy hit the little table part of his high chair.

“He’s not even one, and he already hates our public affection,” Sirius snickered, grinning broadly.

“Imagine what he’s going to be like as a teen?” Remus laughed then went to finishing his salad. “What time is it?”

“It’ll be wonderful,” Sirius said fondly. “It’s just after 12:30. We should leave soon.”

“Yeah. You don’t have to come, you know. You’re just going to be sitting in the waiting area for god knows how long.” Remus stood up, picking up his plate then Sirius’.

“I know, but I want to be there for when you come out. I want to come with you.”

“All right, all right.” Remus nodded as he set the dishes in the sink. “Come on, Teddy, let’s get going. You’re going to hang out with Auntie Alice and Neville today. Aren’t you excited?”

“NO!”

Sirius laughed. “No? Are you grumpy, Teddy?”

“NO!”

“Hmm, are you Teddy?”

“NO!”

“No? Who are you then? Dada, who is sat at our kitchen table?”

“I don’t know. Someone must have changed out our son for a grumpy boy.” Remus went to the chair.

“NO!”

Sirius snickered. “I’ll get this grumpy boy’s coat, shall I?”

“NO!”

“Sounds good.” Remus pulled off the tray. “You’re such a little grump. You must take after you Dada, huh?”

“NO!”

“Nah, those dramatics are Pada-esque,” Sirius called back from the coat rack, pulling their own jacket on and getting Teddy’s.

“That is true. I think it’s a mix of us both.” Remus’ voice came closer.

“NO!” 

Sirius shook their head, laughing. 

Soon enough they were all in the car, and dropped Teddy off at Alice’s. He was so excited to see Neville, bless him. At least he seemed excited as he said no happily a million times. Sirius kept their hand on his knee as they drove around to the police station.

“Okay, here we are.” Remus parked in a spot close by. “This is it.”

Sirius squeezed his knee. “You can do this, caro.”

“I’d never be able to do this without you, you know.” Remus turned a little towards them.

“I’m here for you.” Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly. “Whatever you need.”

“All right. Thank you, I love you.” He kissed them back, lingering. “Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

Remus watched the detective gather up his journals as they had finished up taking Remus’ statements. It had been  _ hours _ in the room with Detective Moody, who was very thorough in asking Remus questions to get the most out of it all. He felt somewhat… empty? It was a strange feeling to sit there and pour everything out in such a manner that was not in a way to talk through his problems like with Poppy, but it was to make sure that he had all the correct information.

“We’ll be in touch Mister Lupin.” Moody nodded with a gruff voice. “You may want to let your friends and family know we’ll be trying to reach out to them.”

“Ah, thank you.” He stood up finally. “Okay, thank you.”

“We’ll be in touch with you, too, Mister Lupin. Keep you updated and such.” Detective Moody opened the door to the interview room with another nod. “Do you have any questions?”

“No.” He stretched out then headed for the door.

Remus headed out the door, and for the waiting room where Sirius had been waiting for the entire time. He just wanted to see Sirius, and hug them.

Sirius stood up as soon as they saw him. They looked a bit tired and a magazine fell from their lap when they stood up, and Remus noticed their lip looked red and bitten. “Caro, hey. Hey, how’d it go?” They asked softly, crossing over to him.

“Ah? Okay, I think.” Remus just wrapped his arms around them, burying his face in their shoulder.

They wrapped their arms around him and held him close, stroking their back. “Hi gorgeous. I love you, I’m so proud.”

At that, Remus broke into tears. He hadn’t felt like he was going to cry, so it took him by surprise. “I love you.”

Sirius just held him tighter, pressing kisses into his hair. “I love you too, so much. You’re so strong. I’m so proud.”

Remus just sniffled, pressing his face into their shoulder and holding them tighter. He just wanted to be near them because he felt good there. Sirius just kept holding onto him, stroking his back and kissing his hair. They didn’t move at all, just stayed there with him.

“We need to go.” He pulled back a little. “Alice probably is overwhelmed with the kids.”

“Nope, I spoke to her a few minutes ago. She’s fine, both of them are napping. She said we can take as long as we need. Said Teddy can stay overnight, too. He has everything he needs really. It’s up to you, though. She thought it might be good.”

He sniffed again, rubbing his eyes. “Okay, maybe… we can… I don’t know, get something to eat because I’m starving then figure it out?”

Sirius grinned and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Are you a mind-reader? My next suggestion was going to be mac and cheese, and then figure everything out after that.”

“We haven’t had post-therapy mac and cheese in a very long time.” He let out a little laugh.

“Exactly. It’s perfect, isn’t it?” Sirius smiled wider at his laugh.

“It does make everything better.” He took their hand. “Come on.”

Sirius kissed his knuckles. “So… just so I know. Do you want to talk about it, or shall we just pretend it isn’t happening?”

“I’m not really sure. I don’t want to pretend it’s not a thing, but I’m not sure what to say about it yet.” Remus led them towards the elevator.

“Okay. Well, whenever you want to speak, I’m here for you.”

They were quiet on the way to their favorite comfort food spot. Remus was trying to process it all, but he also knew he shouldn’t be in his head for too long. He needed to talk about it, but he also knew that Sirius would be willing to listen when he was ready to talk. In the car, they put on a calm playlist that eased Remus’ mind a little.

When they got to the restaurant, they were sat in a small booth by the window and Remus stared sort of blankly at the menu. He was hungry, not sure what he wanted though. “What are you thinking?”

“The Philly cheesesteak one, like always?” Sirius smiled.

“Sounds good.” He pushed the menu aside.

“We can share a big one and take the rest home? Maybe Teddy will want to try a bit.”

“Yeah, we can give him some.” Remus nodded with a smile. “He’ll like it I think.”

“He’s our son, he definitely will.”

Remus nodded as the waiter came over. He ordered their food and a cider and a beer then they fell back into silence for a moment. “The detective was all business.”

“Right. I guess that’s good.” Sirius gave him an earnest look. “Did it feel really… unsympathetic?”

“No, he was sympathetic, I could feel it -- especially when he was looking over the journal entries.” Remus explained as he fidgeted with his coaster.

“That’s really good. I’m glad he didn’t… dismiss you or anything?” Sirius tangled their feet together, rubbing their foot over his.

“I was worried because… you know? I’m a bloke and it’s been years and we were dating. It’s just all those things stacked up.” Remus really thought that he’d be brushed off over the whole thing, but he didn’t get that feeling from the detective at all.

Sirius’ brow furrowed for a moment. “But, he still did those things to you, caro. He still  _ raped _ you, even if you were dating and even though you’re a bloke and it’s been so long… Your feelings are still so valid, Remus.”

“I know that it’s all valid, it’s just… not everyone thinks so and I thought maybe I’d end up dealing with someone who thought otherwise.”

“Well I’m very glad you’re dealing with a good guy. He’ll make sure Fenrir gets utterly fucked over.”

Remus rubbed his eyes again. “I hope so because he deserves it. Abusive arsehole.”

“He does. I’m so glad you see that, you know? You didn’t deserve any of that.” Sirius squeezed his hand. “And I’m gonna spend the rest of my life treating you like a damn king to make up for it all.”

“You are my princess after all.” He gave them a little smile. “For a while, I thought maybe I would just go back to him, you know? Like after it all.” It was so hard to explain why he felt that way. When he left Fenrir he thought no one would ever understand him, and maybe the bastard was right. Then Sirius proved all that wrong.

Sirius grimaced, their mouth quirking downwards for a moment. “You don’t deserve an ending like that, caro. You never deserved any of it,” they said softly, biting their lip. “For the record, if, in an alternate universe, you tried to leave me for him, I wouldn’t let you. Not in a million years.”

“Maybe in another universe you were some mob boss and had Fenrir killed so you could be with me instead.” Remus laughed.

“Ha, oh my god. I want to be a mob boss now, Remus. Make it happen, please? I can order a hit on him. Someone can put a horse head in his bed.”

“As long you leave the gun and take the cannolis.” Remus snorted then shook his head. “I can’t make you a mob boss. I think you need to work on that on your own. I mean, I’ll totally support you though.”

“You can be my trophy mob boss wife. Can I buy you diamonds and take you to the races?” Sirius was grinning ear to ear.

“Yes, I’ll wear the most fabulous outfits. I’m sure Riley could help me with that. Oh! We could buy a villa in Italy.”

“Yes! You’ll lounge on the terrace and I’ll conduct business in the study and smoke cigars.”

“Yes, and we can throw big lavish parties.”

Sirius was laughing now, tickled pink by the idea. “Yes, oh my god, we need to.”

“It’s probably rather dangerous.” Remus looked across the table, marveling at the fact that Sirius was his spouse.

“I  _ suppose _ ,” Sirius said, rolling their eyes but still grinning.

“Yes, love, what about Teddy?”

“He’ll be the most feared and loved mob baby in the whole country,” Sirius said, laughing.

“Ah, here we are,” the waiter interrupted the conversation, coming over holding a huge dish of mac and cheese.

When the waiter left Remus laughed again, shaking his head. “God, you’re right. He’ll take over the family business one day.”

“Absolutely. Don Teddy, obviously.”

“Mmm, yeah, obviously.” Remus dug in, falling a little sullen again for some reason.

Sirius leaned over and took his free hand. “I love you caro.”

“I love you too, my mafia boss spouse.” He sighed before taking a sip of his beer.

“Want to talk some more?”

“Er, maybe? I’m not sure what I want to talk about.” Remus set his beer down before eating some more.

“Alice said that Teddy and Neville were playing hide and seek but neither of them were quite grasping it… it was more like peekaboo, toddling from one end of the rug to the other, you know?”

“Ha, that’s adorable.” Remus thought of the two of them trying to play the game.

“Right? She says he kept trying to climb the sofa. He’s obviously your son.”

“Oh god, he really is. Though he was wiggling his bottom yesterday to the music I was playing.”

“Ahh, as soon as he’s old enough for dance classes, he’s going to be in every one.” Sirius smiled, eating their pasta.

“He’ll be so cute.” Remus smiled thinking about watching Teddy performing in a recital. “We won’t let anyone hurt him, right?”

Sirius looked frighteningly serious for a moment. “Never.”

“But we can’t protect him from everything. My mam said she’d never let anything to hurt me…” Remus looked out the window.

Sirius took his hand, lacing their fingers. “We can protect him from lots of things. We can teach him to value himself and show him he is loved and worthy no matter how he feels.”

“My mam and dad did that though and look what happened.” Remus squeezed their hand.

“I know. We can do this, caro.”

He took a deep breath. “Okay, yeah.”

Sirius kissed his knuckles then tucked into their mac and cheese again. “Shall we leave Teddy with Alice for a night?”

He nearly shrugged but stopped, hearing Sirius in the back of his head. “I want him there, but I also want to spend some time with you.”

“I think it would be good to have some time to ourselves? I don’t want to bring the mood down with Teddy, and neither of us have much energy.”

For some reason, he felt like a bad dad for wanting the night away from Teddy. “I feel like we should bring him home. I can take care of him.”

Sirius bit their lip. “I don’t want to say no, but I don’t know if we should… You can take care of me?”

“He’s our son, Sirius.” Remus flinched at the sharpness in his voice.

Sirius winced too. “Okay. Whatever you want, caro.”

Remus went back to eating quietly, not sure what to say back to Sirius. What Sirius was making sense, but he was so stressed out and just felt like he needed to have Teddy home.

“Do you want to bother with dessert?”

“No.” Remus shook his head.

Sirius sat back, finishing their cider. “Okay. Home?”

“Teddy.”

“Right, of course, of course. I’ll get the bill?”

“Please.” Remus drained the rest of his beer and took out his phone to text Alice.

**Hey, we’re coming to get Teddy.**

Sirius went off to find a server and pay the bill.

_ Are you sure about that sweetie? Sirius said you were going to have some time alone. _

Remus rubbed his temples, staring down at his phone. Did people not think he was capable of taking care of his own son or something?

**Yeah, Alice.**

_ You know that we just want you to have sometime. _ _   
_ _ Take what you need. We’re all here for you. _ _   
_ _ Did it go okay? _

**I know… it went all right.**

He wasn’t sure what to do, he just wanted to go home. Everything was so overwhelming, but he knew that he was doing the right thing.

Sirius came back to the table, smiling softly. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Remus slid out of the booth, taking their leftovers with him.

“Want me to drive back?”

He nodded, handing over the keys to Sirius. “To Alice’s you mean.”

“Yes, to Alice’s. Have you told her?”

“Yeah, she told me to take the night too.” Remus headed for the door after taking Sirius’ hand.

“Did she?” Sirius said lightly, squeezing his hand.

“Mmm, probably because you two are in kahoots.” He tried his best to sound light as they stepped outside.

“No, we’re just in agreement, love. I don’t think you’re all here right now, so I want you to take some time.”

Remus bit his lip and nodded. “Right.”


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius bit their lip, pulling out of the parking lot. They were torn between going to Alice’s, or just ignoring Remus and driving home, because they thought it was the best. Next to them, Remus was texting on his phone, not saying anything.

With a big sigh, Sirius turned down the junction towards their neighbourhood, instead of carrying on to Alice’s.

“Sirius…” Remus trailed off, looking up from his phone.

They bit their lip harder before speaking. “Please don’t argue with me, Remus. We’re going home.”

“What about Teddy?”

“I said to Al I was going to try and convince you otherwise.”

Remus nodded, staring out the window.

“I’m sorry, caro. Really.”

He slumped down in his seat, starting to bite at his nails.

Sirius just stayed quiet, chewing their lip as they drove back home, pulling into the driveway.

“I’m going to make tea, do you want some?” Remus asked as he opened his door.

“Yes please. What kind are you going for?”

“Something herbal.” He slid out of the car then closed it behind him.

“Sur--” Sirius sighed as he closed the door on them before they could finish speaking. They were hoping to have a nice night and look after Remus, treat him well and take his mind off things, but now it had all gone wrong. They had to try and get him out of his head somehow.

With a sigh, Sirius followed Remus into the house, petting Snuffles as he came running over to them.

“Alice said she’ll bring Teddy home when Frank gets back from work.” Remus called from the kitchen.

“Okay, that sounds good.” Sirius padded into the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

“I can take care of him.” Remus was filling the kettle. “I’m not fragile.”

“I don’t think that you’re fragile, caro,” Sirius said softly, frowning just a little. “I think you’re really fucking strong. But I also think you deserve a night off, to look after yourself and unwind.”

“I’ll feel better with Teddy.” He clicked the kettle on then went for the mugs.

“I wanted to have a nice night with the two of us. But I can go and get Teddy, if you really want.”

“I really wanted to go get him on the way home, but you ignored it.” He looked to them.

“I know I did.” Sirius sighed. “You’re in your head, and I want to get you out of it.”

“I know I’m in my head. You were right before to be nervous about me doing this, I think. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’ll call Detective Moody tomorrow.” He opened their drawer of tea.

Sirius drew closer, their brows drawn together. “I really don’t think  _ that’s _ a good idea. You’ve made that first step, and that’s the hardest. I want you to keep going, Remus.”

“Then why are you and everyone treating me like I’m some kind of timebomb?” He shook his head. “If I want my son, I should be able to have my son.”

They sighed. “I’ll go and get him.”

“I’ll do it after I have some tea.” Remus shook his head, plonking a tea bag in each mug.

“By the time you’ve brewed tea, I’ll be back with Teddy.”

“All right, thank you.” He held onto the counter.

“I love you,” Sirius said. They didn’t want to leave him, they wanted a night with him, just the two of them, but he was so angry over not having Teddy here.

“I love you too.” Remus kissed them on the forehead.

“I don’t want to go. I want to have an evening with you. We can take a long bath and smoke a joint,” Sirius said quietly, leaning into him.

“That sounds nice but I want our son.” Remus rubbed their arm.

“Call Alice.”

“Okay, see you in a bit.” Remus stepped back, taking his phone out.

“I’ll see what she says, so she knows I’m heading over. Okay?” Sirius bit their lip, raking a hand through their hair.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Why? I feel like you two are up to something.”

“I don’t think she’ll want to let Teddy come back with me. I think she’ll make you take the night.”

“Then I’ll just go myself.” Remus rolled his eyes, turning the kettle off. “I’ll be back in a bit then.”

“Okay.” Sirius threw a hand up. “Okay, whatever you want caro.”

Remus went towards the front of the house, not replying until it sounded like he was in the entryway. “I’m sorry, Sirius.”

“What are you sorry for?” Sirius said, turning towards the doorway.

“Making you upset. I know you’re trying to help. I love you, I’ll be back in a little.” The door opened then closed.

Sirius groaned, fishing their phone out of their pocket and calling Alice.

“Hey sweetie, what’s wrong?” Alice asked as soon as she answered.

“Remus is coming over. He’s insistent on having Teddy.”

“I’m going to fucking kill him. He’s so bloody stubborn!” She groaned.

“I know! I tried to tell him we’d have a nice night and he agreed it sounded good but he wants Teddy. He thinks we’re treating him like a time bomb and like he’s fragile and can’t look after Teddy.”

“God, I don’t know how you’re married to him sometimes. I’d kill him. I might tonight.”

“Don’t kill him. Despite him being a stubborn arse, I do really love him and he’s wonderful.” Sirius padded to the living room window, seeing the car still sat in the drive. “He’s still on the drive… I’m going to see if I can get him to stay?”

“He doesn’t really want to come then. If he wanted to, he’d already have left. He’s just being Classic Moony, thinking he needs to do the right thing— what he thinks is the right thing.”

Sirius groaned, rubbing their eyes. “I know. Okay. I’ll text you Al. Thank you again for looking after Teddy so good.”

“All right, love you sweetie. Just let me know what’s going on. I’m fine with whatever. Personally I’d rather Teddy stay the night, but you know…”

“I know, I’d rather that too. Love you Al, take care.” Sirius sighed, hanging up the phone as they went to the front door and padded out to the car.

Remus was sitting in the driver’s seat with the car off and a hand over his face. Sirius opened the door and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Caro, come inside, please.”

“Can you drive.” He sniffled and rubbed his face. “Please.”

“I don’t want to. Alice wants him to stay the night. He and Neville are having so much fun, and I want you here with me.”

“Sirius…” Remus shook his head. “I just want Teddy.”

Sirius bit their lip, stroking a hand through his hair. “He’s okay with Al, caro. He’s safe there, you know? And he’s so intuitive, isn’t he? I think he’ll know his Dada isn’t feeling 100%. You know for a fact, too, that Auntie Al is going to look after him.”

“I know, but it’s meant to be my job, isn’t it?” He leaned into the touch.

“Your job is to give him the best things he needs. Right now, I think he needs his Dada to be on top form.”

“I’m just going to be a mess all night, I’m not going to be much fun. I’d rather him here. But I also hate the idea of being so upset around him.” Remus turned in his seat, as if he was going to get out of the car.

Sirius bit their lip, cupping his cheek. “Come inside Daddy.”

“I feel like an idiot.” He took the keys out of the ignition. “I know I’m not an idiot and these feelings are all valid. But I still feel like that.”

“I know, and it’s okay to feel like that.” Sirius took his hands, pulling him back a little.

“I want Teddy, but I want you too.”

“He’s safe, he’s content, he’s  _ sleeping _ , caro. Come inside and be my Daddy, please?”

“I just… I want him.” He bit his lip, letting Sirius pull him out of the car though.

‘I know Daddy.” Sirius tugged him towards the door, slowly.

“Please…”

“What if we video call Al? We can sit with him if he’s still awake. Then you know he’s there and happy?”

Remus sniffled, looking back to the car. “I -- I don’t know. I know you hate when I don’t know, but I don’t.”

“It’s okay. We can video call Al. Let’s just get inside, for a moment?” Sirius pulled him towards the door, pulling their phone from their pocket and sending Alice a quick text.

_ Can we video call? Is Teddy still awake? X _

“If I still don’t feel right after, we’ll go get him?” Remus shut the car door finally and let himself be pulled.

“Yes, I think that’s a really good idea.”

“Okay.”

Sirius breathed a huge sigh of relief, opening the front door and leading Remus back through. God, at least he wasn’t sat on the driveway. Remus let himself be led to the sofa then sat down on his usual seat, pulling his legs up. He took his laptop off the side table, opening it without another word.

A few moments later Sirius heard the sound of the video call ringing over the speakers. They squished up next to him, smiling when Alice appeared on the screen. “Hey Al.”

“Hi you two.” She didn’t look very happy. “Moony, you need to wipe your eyes and take a deep breath.”

“Alice, can you put my son on,” He said but listened to what Alice had asked.

“DADA! PADA!” Teddy called in the background.

“Hi piccolino!” Sirius said, trying to sound cheery to compensate for Remus as Alice turned the camera around.

“Hi annwyl.” Remus let out a long shaky breath.

“Dada!” Teddy clapped, reaching for the camera on the phone it seemed.

“I love you annwyl.”

Sirius put their arm covertly around Remus’ waist, squeezing a little. “Are you having a good time piccolino?”

“NO!” He laughed, giving a funny little smile.

“Do you want to come home, Teddy?” Remus asked.

“NO!”

Sirius bit their lip, stifling a chuckle.

“Are you sure?”

“Dada. Pada. Bye!” He waved.

Sirius smiled a little, leaning their head on Remus’ shoulder.

“I love you Teddy.” Remus’ voice was soft.

“Love you Teddy,” Sirius agreed, their heart melting at his tiny smile.

“Bye!” He waved again then giggled before Alice turned the phone back around.

Sirius glanced at Remus, squeezing his middle a little. “Thanks again, Al.”

“No problem. I love having him here. He’s staying the night?” She raised her eyebrow.

Remus hesitated for a moment then nodded. “Yeah.”

Sirius let out a long breath, their eyes shutting for a moment.

“Bye, love you both.”

“Bye Alice.” Remus shut his laptop then set it aside.

“Bye Al,” Sirius managed to say as he shut it, leaning against him. “He’s safe.”

“I still… I want him here.” He frowned.

“What’s making you so worried?”

“I’m scared I can’t protect him.” He shifted a little. “Can we have that tea now?”

“Yes, let’s make tea. Maybe we can take it upstairs?” Sirius bit their lip again. “You can protect him. You’re the best Dad, you wouldn’t let anything hurt him.”

“Okay, yeah.” He stood up.


	6. Chapter 6

After getting their tea, Remus grabbed his laptop as well and they went upstairs to their bed. He was still aching to have Teddy home, but it seemed like no one thought it was a good idea but him. Even Teddy didn’t want to come home. Remus was trying his best not to be in his head, but it was so difficult.

“Should we watch something?”

“Yeah. A rom-com maybe?”

Remus nodded, taking a sip of his tea.

Sirius bit their lip, shifting a little as they leaned over and navigated through Netflix and picked  _ 10 Things I Hate About You _ . He took the large teddy bear he had given Sirius for Valentine’s Day, which was now basically Teddy’s and wrapped an arm around it.

“I love Heath.”

“Me too. God, he’s so gorgeous, isn’t he?” Sirius cuddled up on his other side, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Mmm.” Remus nodded, watching the screen. “A part of my bi-awakening.”

“Right?” Sirius chuckled. 

“Not as sexy as you.” He nudged them.

They bit their lip, turning a little. “Heath Ledger is less sexy than me?”

“Of course.” Remus laughed, starting to feel a little better. “No one’s sexier than you.”

“Not even Jason Momoa? Brie Larson?”

“Stop fishing for compliments.” Remus set his tea on the side table.

“Never. I always want you to compliment me Daddy,” Sirius said, with a big mischievous grin.

He rolled his eyes. “I know you do.” He snuggled against them more.

Sirius wrapped their arms around his shoulders, wriggling a little. “Though I could compliment you all night too, really.”

“Mmm, yeah.” He rested his head on their shoulder, still holding the teddy bear.

Sirius kissed his cheek. “Mhmm. You’re so wonderful. You’re so caring and loving. You make Teddy and I feel so safe and protected and loved.”

“Sirius…” He shook his head.

“Can’t I compliment my husband?”

“Yeah, you can.” Remus pulled the teddy bear closer. It smelt like Teddy.

“Well good, because he’s gorgeous. He’s the most handsome man I ever laid eyes on, and I could look at him for centuries and never get bored. The way you smile when you think no one is looking, this little soft, crooked half-smile, and your eyes go all soft.”

He just laughed, giving the bear a squeeze. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you so much my heart hurts when I think about how much I love you. How understood and protected I feel with you, how you see me like no one else has, how validated I feel in any way with you. Everything is okay with you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Good. The idea that I make you feel how you make me feel is  _ wonderful _ .” Sirius kissed the tip of his nose.

“Of course you do, love.”

“That’s the best gift,” Sirius murmured, lingering close.

Remus smiled, closing his eyes with a sigh.

“What do you need, caro?”

“I still want Teddy.” He frowned, eyes still closed. He couldn’t explain the feeling he had in his chest, like this missing piece.

“What can I do? Right now, here.” Sirius kissed his forehead.

“I really don’t know.” He opened his eyes. “I know he’s okay, but… I don’t know.”

Sirius kissed him, smiling softly. “Tell me what to do.”

Remus shook his head. “No, I’m not in the mood.”

“Okay,” Sirius said, their voice soft. “Do you want to kiss some more? No Domming, if you don’t want.”

“I just want to cuddle, if that’s okay. Just for now.”

Sirius wrapped their arms tighter around his shoulders, shifting so they could let him rest his head on their shoulder. “It’s always okay to cuddle,” they murmured kissing his forehead.

“Yeah. I wish Teddy was here for a cuddle.” Remus watched the screen, trying not to think about the feeling in his chest or the fact that he had rehashed his terrible relationship for hours with a complete stranger earlier. He knew that he was strong, and that he could do it, but there was still a voice in the back of his head that he wasn’t going to be able to do it.

All through the movie, Sirius kept cuddling him close. When Heath Ledger’s character started the infamous sing-along scene, they began softly singing along, their lips pressed to Remus’ temple. “You’re just too good to be true/Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

“Sirius…”

They carried on, voice soft and a little husky. “You’d be like heaven to touch/I want to hold you so much/At long last love has arrived/And I thank God I’m alive.”

“You’re being a big sap.”

“You’re just too good to be true/Can’t take my eyes off of you.” Sirius kissed him softly. “If we met in school I would definitely try to woo you off the sports field with a public love confession via song.”

“Of course you would have.” Remus shook his head.

“We fit so well, you’re sullen and grumpy and stubborn and I’m charming and attractive and win you over with ridiculous displays.” Sirius laughed, squeezing around his waist a little.

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

“I thought pressing charges would help me feel better, but it’s not. I don’t want to do this anymore, Sirius. I want to stop it because you were right. I’m not strong enough and it’s only been one step. I know you said you want me to finish it but… but what if I can’t?”

“It’s okay if you can’t,” Sirius said, their voice soothing. “We can call tomorrow and tell the detective you don’t want to go any further. Whatever you need to feel safe and well, Remus.”

He sniffled again, sitting up. “What if I just… never do? What if it’s just always going to be there in the back of my mind no matter what?”

“One day, it’s going to just feel so long ago and so insignificant. One day. Right now it’s painful because you’ve spent hours reliving it, but it won’t be like that forever.”

“I just wish I knew what was right.” He rubbed his face.

“You don’t need to make a decision tonight. It’s okay. Tonight you can just not think about it.” Sirius smiled, kissing his knuckles.

“I can’t  _ not _ think about it. I can’t  _ not _ think about Teddy. It’s all just right there. I’m trying, but I can’t.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment. “Do you want a joint?”

Remus laughed sharply. “I want my son.”

He saw Sirius deflate right before his eyes, their shoulders slumping as they bit their lip. “Okay. I’ll get my shoes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, caro.” Sirius kissed his cheek before they scooted towards the edge of the bed.

“It’s not okay though. You wanted a night with  _ me _ .” Remus reached for them, but stopped short of touching them.

“I did, but I’ll have an evening with you and Teddy, and I want you to be happy.” Sirius paused, sitting on the edge of the bed and raking their hands through their hair.

“Maybe a joint will make things feel a little less tense.” Remus bit his lip.

Sirius looked back at him over their shoulder. “Would you like me to roll?”

He nodded, shuffling back into bed with the teddy bear. Sirius didn’t say anything, just nodded as they reached into the nightstand drawer and got out their little box of weed. They stayed sat on the edge of the bed as they went about rolling, head bent a little.

Remus still was completely unsure of what he wanted. He didn’t even really want the joint, but it could help. “Sirius…”

“Yeah?” Sirius paused in their rolling.

“What do you want? It feels like you don’t want this.” He watched them.

“I want you to be okay, caro. I just want you to be okay.”

“How do you think you can make me better?”

“Fuck you out of your head,” Sirius said, blunt as anything.

He looked down at the teddy bear in his arms. “I feel like I should cover the bear’s ears.”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah. Put your fingers in their ears.”

“The poor thing.” Remus hugged it tight.

Sirius bit their lip, tilting their head a little. “Beginning to think you might love that bear more than me,” they said, in a tone that Remus wasn’t sure was joking or not.

“It just reminds me of Teddy.” Remus looked down at it. He felt like he was letting everyone down and he didn’t know  _ why _ . It was as if he let Teddy down because he didn’t get him. He was letting Sirius down because he couldn’t just be there with them. He was letting Alice, Pete, and his mam down because he wasn’t sure if he did the right thing. He felt like he’d let the fucking detective down if he backed out of the charges.

“I know,” Sirius said softly, lighting the joint.

“I don’t love anything more than you.” He shook his head.

Sirius just looked at him, the corner of their mouth lifting a little before they offered the joint to him.

“What?” He didn’t take the joint, wondering why Sirius’ didn’t take a hit first because they  _ always _ did. It was a thing.

“I’m not smoking much so I can drive if I need to,” Sirius said, gesturing again with the joint.

“Oh.” Remus took the joint, finally setting the bear aside as he sat up.

“Just in case, you know?” Sirius smiled softly.

“Yeah, in case I become more of a headcase than I already am?” Remus just looked down.

Sirius scoffed. “In case you wanted Teddy here again.”

“I’ve wanted him here all night.” He took a hit, closing his eyes.

Sirius sighed. “Yeah.”

“And you’re mad at me because I can’t just be with you. I’m going to just let everyone down because I’m going to drop the charges.” He exhaled, opening his eyes to watch the smoke.

“You won’t let anyone down if you drop the charges. The only person you’ll let down will probably be you…” Sirius was still sat on the edge of the bed, watching him.

“I doubt that.”

“How so? You were so invigorated when you thought of how you’d finally stick it to him and get his comeuppance and you never had to think of him again. Remember how strong you felt?”

“Yeah, and it was stupid. You warned me it’d be a lot and told me not to do it if I’m not good for it.” He took another hit.

“No, I told you I thought you could do it, and I would support you, but I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You said that you didn’t want me to do it, Sirius, I remember. You said you didn’t want me to go through it if I wasn’t good for it. I’m not, clearly.” He shook his head, reaching for his laptop to shut it.

“You’ve just spent all day recounting the worst period of your life to a complete stranger Remus. Of course you’re going to feel raw and awful.” Sirius turned and drew their feet up onto the bed, turning to kneel up. “So, sit with that feeling and understand that you’re allowed to feel raw and that I am here to try and give you the space to feel better.”

“Right.” He glanced towards the window. “Right.”

“Does that make sense? Am I getting to you at all?”

“You are.” He put the joint out on the side of his now empty mug.

“Okay.” Sirius sighed and nodded, sounding a little relieved. “I’m glad.”

He stood up, not sure what he was doing, but he felt like he needed to move. Sirius watched, tilting their head. 

“You okay?”

“No,” Remus said honestly. “I’m not.”

Sirius nodded. “Okay. I’m glad you can be honest.”

“I’m not sure what to do.”

“I love you,” Sirius said, shifting a little before they stood up and crossed to him. “You’re just too good to be true.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Sirius…”

Sirius grinned. “Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

“Stop, please.” He closed his eyes.

They fell silent almost instantly, their breath catching. “Sorry.”

“No, please, don’t feel like -- I don’t know… I love you but I don’t feel like I’m very loveable right now and you’re being so sweet.”

“You’re so lovable, Remus. You’re at your most lovable when you feel awful, because you need it the most and I love you the most.”

Remus opened his eyes, looking at Sirius again. “You’re too sweet.”

“I’m the exact right amount of sweet. You deserve love all the time. You having love isn’t dependant on you feeling good or secure. I don’t know who taught you you weren’t worthy of love when you aren’t on the top of your game but they’re wrong. You’re lovable all the time. And especially when you need it the most.” Sirius swallowed, stepping forward and holding their hands out to him. “Let me love you.”

“I’ll give you one guess where I got that opinion from.” Remus shook his head.

Sirius’ brow furrowed for a moment, their hands clenching. “All the more reason for him to go rot in hell.”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded.

“I’m not going to jail for kicking his head in, you know, but I’d really like to.” Sirius sighed. “Let me love you, caro.”

“Yeah, please don’t go to jail.” He frowned.

“I am only ever gonna go to jail for indecent exposure,” Sirius said, smiling.

“Even for that, don’t.” Remus shook his head.

Sirius nodded, their smile soft. “Of course.”

“Do you think Teddy’s sleeping now?” He sat on the end of the bed.

“Yeah, I think so. It’s getting late.”

“Oh, right. Okay.” He laid back on the bed. He wanted to go wake Teddy up and bring him home, but that wasn’t going to happen. Remus just needed to accept it, and try to relax. “Do we have anything sweet to eat?”

“Yeah, we have some mini flapjack bite things. Shall I go grab them?” Sirius perked up a little.

Remus nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do you want a drink?”

“Yeah, surprise me.” He stayed on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Alright. Love you.” Sirius’ footsteps sounded down the hallway, then the stairs.

“I love you too.” Remus listened you them walking down the stairs. He needed to let Sirius love him, and he was going to get through the night no matter how raw he felt. 

Fenrir needed to be put in his place, and this was the only way Remus could do it. Sirius was right, the only person who would be let down was himself. Everyone else was just there supporting him no matter how much he rejected it at times. It was as if he needed to be strong all alone. He didn’t need to be though. Christ, he couldn’t even let his spouse love him.


	7. Chapter 7

In the kitchen, Sirius stood at the fridge for a long moment, staring at the contents. Snuffles trotted over to them and sniffed at their hands, then butted his head against their thigh.

Sirius could understand why Remus was so upset, and why he was feeling so raw and wanted Teddy here. But Sirius knew, and Alice backed them up, that Remus needed to have some time away. He needed to have his head on straight before he went back to Teddy. Remus was so upset, and Sirius needed to try and help him. 

“I know, eh Snuffs?” Sirius mumbled, grabbing an open half bottle of wine and pouring two glasses. “Daddy just gets caught up in himself.” They grabbed the box of flapjack bites they had gotten from Hope and tucked them under their arm. “Go back to sleep, Snuffs,” they said, patting him on the head as they went back up the stairs.

Remus was still on the bed staring at the ceiling. “Hi.”

“Hi caro,” Sirius said, padding over with the box and the two glasses. “I thought wine?”

“Wine’s good. Maybe we should relight the joint?” Remus said up and took the glass and the box.

“Yeah, I’d like that. I can have a bit?” Sirius bit their lip, trying to ask if he still wanted them to be able to drive, or if they could get high and just relax.

“I don’t really want to smoke it without you.” He shuffled up the bed carefully.

“Okay,” Sirius said, climbing onto the bed next to him and plucking up the joint and lighter. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Remus set the box down then took a sip of the wine. He looked to the teddy bear then picked it up and tossed it on the floor.

Sirius couldn’t stop their eyebrows shooting up as he did, putting the joint between their lips and lighting it. They took a drag, watching Remus as they did, and let it out slowly, trying to gauge how he was feeling.

He sat back against the headboard, taking another sip of his wine before setting it aside and opening the box of flapjacks.

“You want to play the movie again?” Sirius said, holding the joint out to him.

“Yeah.” Remus nodded and took the joint. “Maybe roll it back a bit so I can actually try to watch it.”

They smiled, leaning over Remus to snag his laptop and open it up. “Sure. Back to the bit where I can serenade you again?”

“Sure.” He laughed before taking a hit.

“Can you imagine the two of us in high school? I think it would be wild. Punk Remus and Sirius just learning about gender and trying to dress like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman?”

“Ha! God, as long as it was after your frosted tips stage, I probably would have fancied the pants off you.” Remus handed them back the joint.

“So long as there were no frosted tips.” Sirius laughed, taking another drag. “By sixteen I was the fashionista you know today, just… a bit less experienced. My eyeliner definitely wasn’t as good.” 

“I’m sure I would have thought you were hot  _ even _ with the frosted tips.” He moved to snuggle up against Sirius after grabbing his wine.

Sirius took a drink of their wine, smiling. “And you know I would’ve been head over heels for Punk Remus. Your leather jacket and blue hair and taking down the establishment and sticking it to the man.”

“Yeah? We would have made the cutest couple.” He kissed their cheek before leaning in to take a drag of the joint pinched between their fingers.

“Wouldn’t we?” Sirius grinned, turning their hand a little and watching the way his lips closed around the filter, the shape of his jaw. God, Remus was gorgeous. “I think we make a pretty cute couple right now.”

“We do, we’re just more refined than we would have been back then.” Remus turned his head to blow out the smoke.

“Refined, oh I like that. Like a finely aged wine,” Sirius said, ducking their head to press a kiss to beneath his ear.

“Yes.” He chuckled.

Sirius hummed, nuzzling against his ear and pressing another kiss. “We are the finest oak cask aged whiskey of relationships.”

“I like that.” Remus nodded, taking a sip of wine.

“Me too.” Sirius kissed down his neck, letting out a breath. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah…” Remus sighed.

They pulled back to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure because I want it but I’m not… I don’t know?” He frowned.

“It’s okay.” Sirius sat back on their heels. “You know we never have to do anything unless you give me your enthusiastic consent, Remus.”

“I know.” He nodded before he took a drink of his wine. “Let’s just cuddle right now.”

“Cuddling sounds perfect,” Sirius agreed, tucking themselves against his side.

They smoked the rest of the joint and drank their wine, watching  _ 10 Things I Hate About You _ almost from the beginning. When Heath Ledger’s character slid down the drainpipe and started serenading Julia Stiles’ character, Sirius grinned and pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek before singing along once more.

“Pardon the way that I stare/There’s nothing else to compare.”

Remus laughed, relaxing back against the headboard as he set his empty glass aside.

“The sight of you leaves me weak/There are no words left to speak,” Sirius sang, sitting up onto their knees and spreading their arms out. “But if you feel like I feel/Please let me know that is real/You're just too good to be true/Can't take my eyes off you!”

“You’re so ridiculous.” He watched them with a grin.

“I know, and you love it,” they replied during the instrumental section. They took a breath, grinning. “I love you  _ Daddy _ /And if it's quite all right/I need you  _ Daddy _ /To warm the lonely night/I love you  _ Daddy _ !”

Remus laughed putting his hands over his face. “Oh god, I love you.”

“Trust in me when I say/Oh pretty baby/Don't bring me down I pray.” Sirius paused singing, taking a breath. “What was that, Remus, didn’t hear you? Oh pretty  _ Daddy _ /Now that I've found you stay/And let me love you,  _ Daddy _ /Let me love you!”

He dropped his hands, shaking his head with a smile.

“Well?” Sirius grinned, shuffling closer on their knees. “Let me love you Daddy?”

“Come here, princess.” He held out his arms.

Sirius smiled, moving closer to practically in his lap. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He wrapped his arms around them and kissed their forehead.

“How’s the wine?” 

“It was good. You did a good job rolling the joint too.”

“Yeah? Not as good as you, but my fingers are pretty deft,” Sirius said, grinning.

“You did great.” He brushed a hand through their hair. “I feel like I need a bath or a shower.”

“You can do that.” Sirius leaned into his touch, kissing his cheek. “Do you want some company?”

“Yeah.” He nodded then kissed them softly. They smiled into the kiss, kissing him back slowly and gently, savouring it. “You wanted a bath earlier.”

“I did. I would like that,” Sirius murmured, pulling back after a moment.

“Okay. Do you want to make it?”

“Yeah, you can stay here?” They stood up, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

“If you want, yeah.”

“Whatever  _ you _ want, Daddy. Whatever you need.” Sirius smiled at him, their heart hurting for how much they loved him.

“Okay, I’ll wait here.” He kissed them on the cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Sirius padded through to the bathroom, oddly reluctant to leave Remus for a moment, although they knew he would be fine. They set about running the bath, getting the water perfect and adding some bath salts to it.

“Could you maybe light some candles?” Remus asked from the bedroom.

“Sure. What about those nice sandalwood ones?” Sirius found the lighter in the bathroom drawer, lighting some.

“Yeah that sounds good.”

“Okay. It smells great in here,” Sirius said, sitting on the edge of the bath whilst the tub filled up.

“Mmm yeah?” Remus padded into the bathroom, his shirt already off.

Sirius felt the usual warm curl of desire in their stomach at the sight of him, smiling wider. “Oh hi.”

“Ha, hi.” He smiled, testing the water before straightening up to push down his bottoms.

“You are so good looking,” Sirius said softly, staying sat on the edge of the tub to watch him.

“Sirius, the tub is about to overrun.” Remus laughed, reaching for the taps.

“I’m too distracted by my absolute god of a husband. But well caught.”

“Nearly had a disaster on our hands. Could have ruined the night even more.” Remus slipped into the bath. “Mmm, it’s perfect and it smells amazing in here.”

“Doesn’t it?” Sirius turned a little, putting their feet in the bath. “There space in there for me?”

“Always, come on.” He ran a hand up their calf.

They slid in next to him, settling between his legs facing him. “Oh you’re right, it’s perfect.”

“You’re perfect.”

Sirius smiled. “I’m glad you think so,” they said, rubbing a hand over his thigh.

“Your lyrics were better than Frankie Valli’s, you know?”

“Ha, what, Daddy instead of baby?”

“Yeah princess.” He leaned back against the tub, sliding down just past his shoulders.

Sirius grinned, their stomach flipping pleasantly at the nickname. “Hi Daddy,” they murmured, still rubbing a hand over his thigh.

“I do want you to take care of me, you know?”

“I know, I’ll take care of you,” Sirius said softly. “Shall I wash your hair?”

“Yeah, please, that’d be nice.” He nodded. “I don’t wanna move though… sorry it took me so bloody long to get here tonight.”

“It’s okay.” Sirius moved forward, sitting in his lap. “You can stay like this, huh?” They reached for the shampoo, gently washing the water into his hair.

“Okay.” Remus closed his eyes with a soft sigh.

“Let me look after you,” Sirius murmured, gently massaging in the shampoo.

“Mmm.”

Sirius just took their time, glad Remus was finally letting them, careful not to get shampoo in his eyes and give him all the love he deserved. They nudged him to lie down a little more so they could rinse it out, still as careful and gentle. He let himself be nudged, letting out little sighs and contented noises.

“You look after Daddy so well,” Remus muttered with his eyes closed.

“Thank you Daddy,” Sirius mumbled, carefully washing the last of the suds from around his hairline.

“How else do you want to take care of Daddy?”

They shifted, recognising that tone of voice. “Whatever else Daddy wants.”

“I want you to tell me what you want.” Remus’ hand drifted over their tattoo.

Sirius shivered that time, pressing closer. “Okay. I wanna… I wanna be inside you.”

“Yeah? I want that too.” Remus looked up at them, open and honest.

“Here? Or in bed?”

“Bed.”

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius said, leaning down to kiss him.

Remus met them, pulling them even closer in the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Sirius’ back. Sirius hummed into the kiss, nipping at his bottom lip and deepening it. God, they could just kiss him forever. He let out another sigh into the kiss as his tongue curled against Sirius, one hand drifting down their back.

“I love you,” Sirius pulled back just enough to mutter.

“I love you. Love you so much.” Remus pulled them back in for another heated kiss, which they moaned into, tangling their hands through his wet hair.


	8. Chapter 8

Remus let Sirius pull him back into the bedroom. They had spent however long it was making out in the bath. They were both a bit wrinkly when Remus decided they needed to actually get up. He was also aching for Sirius to be even closer to him, inside of him.

Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, their damp hair curling at the ends and their skin all pink, and smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Remus straddled their hips. He was trying to replace everything he was feeling, with how much he was loved by Sirius.

They gasped softly, shifting beneath him. “I love you. God look at you, you’re fucking stunning.”

“I want you to do whatever you want to me.” Remus kissed down their jaw.

“I want…” Sirius bit their lip, moaning softly. “On your back?”

“Mmmhmm.” He rocked his hips against theirs, kissing their neck for a moment before moving to lay down.

Sirius gave another gasp, letting him shift before they sat between his legs, leaning in to kiss him again. Remus’ hand went up into their hair, tongue slipping back into their mouth. He was aching to fill that hole in his chest, needing them to hold him and love him with everything that he had. He needed to feel that it was okay. Sirius shifted closer, their hand stroking down Remus’ stomach. They tilted their head to deepen the kiss, coiling their tongue against his.

“Want you,” Remus muttered, lifting his hips up against them before going back to the kiss.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, pulling away to root in the nightstand for the lube.

Remus smiled, watching the stretch of their body. “You’re so beautiful.”

Their cheeks turned pink as they knelt back with the lube in hand. “Thank you.”

“I just… I want you to make me  _ feel _ loved.” Remus reached back out for them.

The softest look passed over Sirius’ face as they moved forward into his reach, running a hand over his thigh. “I will, caro, I will. You are so loved.”

“I know, even when I don’t think I deserve it, you show me.” Remus bent his legs up so his feet were flat on the mattress.

“Yeah,” Sirius murmured, pressing a kiss to his knee as they reached between his legs and petted a finger over his entrance.

Remus moaned, pushing back against their finger.

“Steady,” Sirius breathed, watching him so careful as they circled their finger and eased it against him. “Let me do all the work Daddy. I want to make you feel good.”

“Ahh, fuck, yeah.” He settled his hips, letting Sirius pressing into him.

Sirius pressed another kiss to the inside of his knee, then scattered them down his thigh as they twisted their wrist, taking their time. He groaned, closing his eyes and letting Sirius do as they pleased. 

“God, you feel so good,” Sirius murmured, easing deeper as they nipped at his inner thigh.

“You feel perfect.” He curled his toes, trying to stay still and let Sirius do what they wanted to do.

“Yeah? I do?” Sirius added another finger, still as gentle, still scattering kisses over his thighs and around the base of his cock.

“Yeah, yeah. I -- I want you so bad, Sirius. Please.” He arched up a little.

“Hold on caro, I know,” Sirius murmured, doing  _ something _ with their fingers that made Remus see stars. “I want to look after you.”

“Oh fuck.” He gasped, fingers clenching in the sheets.

Sirius licked a stripe up Remus’ cock, seemingly out of nowhere as they twisted their wrist, humming softly.

“ _ Sirius _ ,” Remus said as he looked down at them. “God.”

“Mmmm, you taste so good. Everything about you is fucking perfect, Remus. Everything.” They gently pulled back, petting their fingers over him again as they did.

He moved his hips against their fingers again. Remus’ head was swimming with the weed and the wine and feel just so splayed open after the  _ hours _ of answering questions and detailing the worst years of his life. Sirius pressed another kiss to his hipbone before they shifted up, hooking a hand beneath Remus’ thigh so he could wrap his legs around their waist.

“Just want you close,” Sirius murmured, their eyes flickering over his face. “Just want you here so I can look at you and be close to you and feel all of you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, I just want the same thing. I love you and want you so bad.” He bit his cheek.

Sirius kissed him softly, taking themselves in hand and pressing against Remus. “I love you, I love you,” they murmured as they gently pushed into him. “I love how you feel, I love how you look. How you arch into me, how you--ah--get exasperated with me when I’m over-excited but you still want me to just be me.”

He gasped against as Sirius slowly sank into him. “Love you, all of you.” Remus pulled them in for a kiss, the legs around their waist wrapping tighter.

“Ah, fuck you feel good,” Sirius gasped into the kiss, more breath and open mouths than anything but it was perfect. 

Remus moaned in agreement because he felt like he couldn’t do much else or say much else at the moment. He was so  _ overwhelmed _ with how much Sirius loved and cared for him. Sirius kept kissing him, sort of sloppy ridiculous kisses, full of love and adoration, as they rocked their hips against his, deeper and deeper it felt like. Remus wanted to stay like that forever, with Sirius there holding him and buried deep inside of him.

“Mmm, so… fuck, good. You’re perfect.”

“Yeah? Yeah, you’re--ahh--you’re so fucking--ah--I love you, I love you,” Sirius gasped, rolling their hips.

He tried to pull them closer somehow, which was nearly impossible yet it felt like he needed it. He needed Sirius to over take him and just make everything melt away around him. Sirius nipped his bottom lip and kissed his jaw, pressing as close as they could, as deep as they could as they moaned against Remus’ skin. 

“Sirius, I love you, so much. Fuck.” He groaned, rolling his hips against Sirius.

“I love you, I love you,” Sirius replied. “You--ah--god we fit together so good. Fuckin--fucking made for each other, ahh.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He nodded, feeling completely short of breath in the best way possible.

Sirius bit their lip, pressing their forehead against Remus’ as they gripped behind his knee and shifted his leg up a little higher, to get deeper, closer. “Fuck, you’re, you’re amazing. I love you.”

“ _ Oh _ , oh shit.” His hands scrambled to hold them, nails running down their back.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sirius moaned, their hips bucking as they shivered under Remus’ touch. “Ah, fuck. I’m gonna come.”

“Me too, touch me, please.” He pressed his forehead against their shoulder.

“Yeah, fuck.” Sirius pressed kisses to his neck as they wrapped their fingers around Remus’ cock, stroking still with that same gentleness and care.

Remus’ whole body responded to the touch, tensing and shaking. His nails trailed down then up their back again, arching up against their body. It felt like he could feel  _ everything _ . With only a few more thrusts and strokes, Remus came as he moaned into their kiss.

Sirius groaned in response, their hips stuttering. “Ah, fuck. You feel so--fuck, I could stay here, fuck.”

He could hardly reply as he let his climax roll through him, his head spinning. Sirius kissed him through it, holding him close and rolling their hips together. Remus felt their back muscles shudder and tense a moment before they let out a sharp moan as they came.

“Oh god, shit, you feel perfect.” He gasped as he felt them come. “You are perfect. I love -- love you.”

Sirius buried their face in the crook of his neck, panting through their orgasm as they stroked him through his. “Fuck, caro, god.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He closed his eyes, still shuddering.

“I love you,” Sirius hummed, lifting their head to kiss him softly as they finally slowed their movements.

“I love you.” He kissed them back.

With a noise, Sirius pulled out, shifting their weight to the side. They brushed Remus’ hair back from his forehead and kissed his forehead. “So much.”

“Ah, yeah.” Remus was empty again, it felt. “Me too.”

“I’ll get you a cloth, okay?” Sirius kissed his temple, voice soft.

“Yeah, please.”

“I love you.” Sirius seemed reluctant to move, but eventually they slipped from the bed and padded to the bathroom, licking their own hand.

“Love you.” Remus let out a breath, closing his eyes again feeling tears welling up. Why was he about to cry? Shit. A few moments later, Remus heard the bathroom door open and footsteps approaching.

Before Sirius even got to the bed, Remus’ tears overflowed. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” Sirius said softly, as Remus felt the mattress dip and a kiss on his forehead. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“I love you.” He sniffled, burying his face in Sirius’ shoulder.

“I love you too caro, I love you so much.” Sirius wrapped their arms around him. “I love you, I love you.”

Remus nodded, leaning against them. “I don’t know why I -- I’m crying.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to know. You can just cry, caro. I love you, I’m so proud of you.”

He listened, just letting it all out. Remus trying not to think and just feel for once in his life. Sirius was there, and Sirius had him. Sirius stroked their hands through his hair and down his back. 

“It’s okay. I love you, I love you.”

Remus lifted his head a little to breathe, trying to take some deep breaths. Sirius stayed quiet, letting him breathe and cuddle and take what he needed. It could have been hours that he cried, but eventually he calmed down. His whole body was heavy, his eyes were sore. “I listened to you.” He sniffled, scrubbing his face.

“I know you did caro. I’m so proud of you.” Sirius kissed his cheek, still stroking his hair.

“I feel… everything and nothing it feels like.” He reached for a tissue. “I don’t want to give up on the case, Sirius.”

“Okay. I think that’s a good idea, caro.” Sirius kept stroking his hair, moulding their body to his to keep him close.

“I just… you said I shouldn’t do it if I wasn’t good for it and I attached onto that thinking that I -- that you didn’t believe in me and I know that’s not true because you do. I’m…” He shook his head, nearly surprised with his own words.

Sirius opened and closed their mouth for a moment before speaking. “I’m so sorry that you felt like that. I do believe in you, I believe you can do anything you want.”

“No, I know what you meant then, but I just blew it up because I wanted an excuse to feel like I couldn’t do it. I wanted to act like other people didn’t think I could do it.” He blew his nose with the tissue then tried to throw it in the bin near their bed without disturbing Sirius.

“Okay. I understand. Because it’s… it’s scary and it’s painful. And you don’t want those things, I know. But it will be worth it.”

Remus agreed as he tried to get comfortable again. “It will be.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you. I’m so glad that you’re taking care of me.” He rested his head on their chest.

“I will always take care of you, caro. Whatever you need.” Sirius kissed the top of his head, still stroking their hands over his skin.

“Mmm, want to watch Bake Off and have some more wine?” Remus hummed as their touch.

“Sounds perfect. I need to go get the rest of the wine bottle, though.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “You can go, you’re the one that’s holding me.” He chuckled.

Sirius paused. “Okay. I suppose,” they grumbled, slipping out from next to him and padding out of the bedroom, still naked.

Remus watched them go, smiling slightly as they did. He managed to move to  _ finally _ clean himself up before grabbing his laptop to put on Bake Off. Sirius reappeared in the doorway a few moments later with the wine bottle.

“You always make me feel better.” He looked at them, relaxing again.

“I hope so.” Sirius crossed over and sat on the bed next to him, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “That makes me happy.”

“You do, even when you make me angry.” He let out a little chuckle.

Sirius chuckled, topping up both of their wine glasses. “Bake Off?”

“Bake off.”

After another glass of wine, Remus drifted off to sleep wrapped up with Sirius. He slept so deep, so heavy that he couldn’t even remember any of his dreams. That was probably a good thing because he didn’t want to think about what his sleeping mind would drag up. The next thing he knew he heard Teddy’s voice babbling then saying “Dada hi!”.

Rolling over, Remus yawned wondering why he was dreaming now at the end of his sleep. It was light out. He squinted, to find Teddy holding the teddy bear. “Teddy?” Remus rubbed his eyes.

“Dada!” 

Sirius chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I have a Teddy, and I have breakfast crepes from that cafe near PureFit.”

He pushed himself to sit up, laughing. “You went and got him?”

“Yes, I did. I figured a Dada-Teddy reunion would be good.”

A warmth spread throughout his chest, as Teddy crawled into his lap. “Dada!”

“Hi annwyl. I love you.” He kissed the top of his head.

“Hi.” He rested against Remus.

It was going to be okay. He needed to do this for Teddy too, he wanted to be strong for his son.

“Did you have a good time with Aunt Al, piccolino?”

“NO!”

“Are you happy to be home?” Remus asked.

“NO!”

“You know what No Monsters get, Teddy?” Sirius asked, leaning in towards him.

“NO!”

“Certainly not crepes.” Remus looked at Sirius with a smile.

“Absolutely not. They get….  _ Tickles!” _ Sirius pounced and tickled Teddy’s sides.

Teddy giggled, causing Remus’ heart to ache in the best possible way.


	9. Chapter 9

Teddy’s first birthday was as big of a to-do as Sirius expected it would be. The house was full of everyone close to them, with streamers and banners everywhere. The bright music was playing and someone was tinkling at the piano. The children were out in the garden, playing with something, and Sirius was leaning against the doors to the garden, watching with a smile.

“Sirius.” Remus’ hands were suddenly on their waist.

Sirius jumped a little, turning towards him. “Caro? Everything okay?”

“Everyone is being weird.” He looked over his shoulder. “James just hugged me for five minutes.”

“I mean… I think that’s just James?” Sirius grimaced, glancing over to where Remus looked.

“ _ Five minutes _ . Sirius, that’s long even for James.”

“I suppose. What’s going on? Is he just emotional about Teddy’s birthday?”

“He said how  _ strong _ I was about ten times.” Remus made a face.

“Oh god… I’ll speak to him?”

“Everyone keeps giving me these looks and saying similar things. I know they’re being nice, but jesus fucking christ.” He groaned, putting his head on Sirius’ shoulder.

“I know. You’re not fragile, caro,” Sirius murmured, kissing his temple. They really wanted Teddy’s birthday to be normal, to not have Fenrir and the bloody police investigation hanging over their heads. If everyone could act  _ normal _ it would be much, much easier. 

Remus was doing okay. Sure, every evening after they met Detective Moody was a total write-off, in which they usually left Teddy with Alice or Hope, stayed in the bath for a few hours and smoked a joint, but that was what he needed, so that was what they did. Moody had also contacted Alice, Peter, and Hope along with Gid and Fab since they saw Fenrir bother Remus at work for questioning, so now it was mostly a waiting game for what was going to happen.

“I know I’m not, but it’s Teddy’s birthday, can they just pretend for a day it’s all fine.”

“I know, I know. Shall I go and speak to James?”

“No, it’s the whole bloody lot of them. I’m gonna go play with the kids then call Reggie before we do the cake. He said he wanted to see Teddy blow out his candle.” Remus kissed their cheek. “Plus your brother won’t try to coddle me.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll be out in the garden. Let me know when it’s cake time.” Remus stepped back from them.

Sirius smiled, sad that this had to be happening, and people were treating Remus like this. He  _ was _ strong, and he was brave and he was going to do this, but he didn’t need everyone telling him it all the time. “I will.”

They watched him go for a moment before turning on their heel back into the house and starting in to find James or Marlene. Luckily, they had a pretty foolproof plan for doing so, and it mainly involved following the loudest noise.

“POTTER! COME ON!”

“What the hell McKinnon? You can’t just snap your fingers in my face!”

Sirius smiled to themselves as they followed the noise and found James and Marlene at the kitchen table. They were both leaning forward, staring intently at each other, only a few inches apart. Ah. Staring contests. Sirius padded closer, skirting around both of their fields of vision until they were close enough to slam their palms onto the table.

“BOO!”

“SHIT SIRIUS!” Marlene yelled, jumping then punching Sirius in the arm.

“Sib! That’s not right!” James complained.

“Good, now I’ve got your attention, the three of us, my dear idiots, need a chat.”

“What?” Marlene huffed, perching on the table.

“Is it a surprise? Is there something happening?” James raised an eyebrow.

“No, not quite. Upstairs, I don’t need Ro and her wild intuition and shocking ability to pick up words at an accelerated rate ratting me out.” Sirius pushed back from the table and gestured to the stairs.

Marlene and James both gave them an odd look, but listened without too much protest. Upstairs, Sirius went into Teddy’s room and ushered them both in behind them. 

“Okay. So, you two are as subtle as a fucking foghorn, so I need you to listen. Remus is  _ fine _ . Please stop coddling him and worrying about the police investigation with Fenrir. James, don’t hug for five minutes, for Christ’s sake.”

“He looked sad.” James furrowed his brow.

“We just want him to feel good.” Marlene squwaked.

“He’ll feel good when that piece of shit is rotting in hell. Until then, we support him, but we don’t go over the top,” Sirius said, sitting on the edge of the rocking chair.

“Is he really doing okay? Are you?”

“He’s not doing okay. He’s having to recount the shittiest bit of his life, but he’s supported and that’s all we can do. I’m… okay? Worried for him, trying to give him what he needs,” Sirius sighed, running a hand through their hair.

“We want to help you both, Sirius.” Marlene softened, leaning against the dresser. “It can’t be easy.”

“I know. But you need to be more… normal around him. Everyone does. He’s starting to freak out… even more than usual.” 

“Freak out? Why?” James questioned. “Because we’re being nice?”

“Yes, exactly that.  _ Five minute hugs,  _ James,” Sirius said, laughing.

“It wasn’t five minutes!”

“It was! I saw!” Marlene threw up a hand.

“Hey Mrs. Let Me Help You With Everything, you’re one to talk.”

“Can both of you just go back to being yourselves?” Sirius said, smiling.

“I’ll try.” Marlene rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” James nodded. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fucking tired, honestly bro.” Sirius rubbed their eyes. “I worry about him a lot. Not to mention… well… some things have taken a back burner with it, you know?”

“He’s not beating--”

“MARLENE!” James cut her off.

“Nah, he’s not. But that’s okay, I guess,” Sirius said, giving James a wry smile.

“Oh god.” He scrunched up his face. “I don’t want to think about my sibling and their spouse who I consider a brother now doing anything like that. But… I mean… maybe talk to him.”

Sirius chuckled. “Yeah, we’ll talk about it. There’s no real rush, because he needs to have his head on straight, first.”

“Right, you should still chat.” Marlene patted James on the back. “Let’s go be normal.”

“Yes, normal.”

“I know it’s not a word any of us know, but we can give it a try.” Sirius snickered, shoving them both on the shoulders. “Come on, let’s go cut Teddy’s cake.”

They both agreed before they headed back downstairs.

Teddy was overjoyed with his cake, and as soon as they blew the candles out with him, smashed his little fists right into it. Sirius had said he was his father’s son through laughter.

The rest of the party was wonderful and full of laughter and joy, and soon enough Teddy was conked out as Remus carried him up to his bedroom for a nap. Sirius was just sitting on the sofa when Remus reappeared in the living room.

“Hi caro.”

“Hi love.” Remus joined them on the sofa. “He’s so tired, we might have to wake him for dinner.”

Sirius chuckled, wrapping their arm around his shoulder. “Bless him. He’s completely out, hm?”

“Like a light.” He pressed a kiss to their cheek. “Did you have a nice time? Can you believe he’s a year old?”

“A whole year. A year ago today we were in shock sitting in the hallway with his carrier, wondering what the hell we would do now?” Sirius laughed, hugging him close.

“Crazy.” Remus’ hand came up to play with their hair, twirling a piece around his finger.

“So so crazy.” Sirius sank into him, smiling. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah, once the others stopped being weird.”

“I’m glad you did.” Sirius puffed out their cheeks. “What shall we do with our afternoon?”

“Hmm, not sure.” He shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

“We could talk?” Sirius chuckled, kissing his shoulder. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good today. I had fun and it was nice. It’s just a waiting game now, isn’t it? Moody said that I probably wouldn’t need to come back.”

“Yeah, just wait and see. We’ll be fine.”

“Mmm, yeah, whatever happens.” Remus ran his fingers through his hair again. “How are you doing princess?”

Sirius couldn’t help their stomach flip at the nickname. “I’m okay. A bit worn out, but fine.”

“I’m sorry that this is weighing on you too.”

“I want it to weigh on me. I want to support you.”

“I wish I could do something to make you feel less worn out.” Remus twisted his finger in their hair again.

Sirius leaned into him, smiling. “Just your presence is enough.”

“Okay.” He rested his head on their shoulder.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Remus pulled his legs up onto the sofa.

“Do you want to stick a movie on? Whilst Teddy is asleep we can watch something that isn’t kids shows?”

“Yeah, sure.” He reached for the remote.

“We haven’t… been doing certain things, recently, have we?” Sirius blurted out all of a sudden, looking at the blank TV screen.

Remus shifted, turning towards Sirius and setting the remote down again without turning the TV on. “We haven’t. We should talk about that, shouldn’t we?”

“Yeah, do you wanna talk right now?”

“I do.” He sat back a little, putting an arm on the back of the sofa.

“Okay. I don’t want to say that it needs to come back or I miss things… because what is happening right now is important. I just wanted to raise that I’m aware we’ve not been having that aspect of our relationship?” Sirius bit their lip, shifting a little.

“I honestly… I didn’t even realize. I’m glad you brought it up, thank you.” Remus nodded.

Sirius felt a little relieved. “I’m glad. I had a feeling it wouldn’t have crossed your mind.”

“There’s a lot of other things going on in there. Now that I’m thinking about it, I do miss it because it does make me feel better.” He put a hand on their knee.

“I know. You’re dealing with so much, and that’s okay.” Sirius smiled, putting their hand over theirs. “Sometimes I worry I’m more invested in this than you are?”

Remus frowned deeply, his brow furrowing. “You say that a lot.”

“Do I? It’s just that… I feel like I’m the one missing it and the one that gets the… mental benefits, you know?”

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying, but I get mental benefits too. The control makes me less anxious and I do get off doing what we do. Well, I don’t get off sometimes but I get a satisfaction from it.” Remus squeezed their knee. “Do I not give enough into it?”

Sirius shook their head. “No, no you do. I just feel like I’m the one to bring it up when it goes, and I’d hate to think that you didn’t want it?”

“I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m not much interested in sex. I know that it doesn’t have to end in me getting off, but…”

“Yeah… okay. That makes sense. I just… I’m glad you get satisfaction from it too… I just don’t want you to think I’m some cock-hungry whore, you know?”

“Sirius Lupin-Black,” Remus’ voice went all stern.

Sirius winced, looking from the blank television to Remus. “I know, I know.”

“We have been together for nearly four years now and I -- I don’t even have the words to describe how upset that makes me feel that you would think I would think that.”

“It’s not a reflection on you, Remus, you know that. I’m sorry I said it.”

“No, I know it not a reflection on me. I didn’t word that right. I’m upset because you feel that way. You’re allowed to want me as much as you please. You’re allowed to want anything to do with sex. If you’re a whore, I’m a whore too.” He put a hand on his forehead. “Just because I don’t outwardly show how I feel doesn’t mean I don’t have any interest. I thought you’d know me better by now.”

“I do, and you’re not a whore,” Sirius said hurriedly, trying to fix their mistake. “I just wonder sometimes, when I’m the one to bring things up or ask for things.”

“What about when I’m all over you? I love how much you want me and how much you want me wherever I am on the scale. I want you to point out to me when I’m not doing something because you know I get caught up in my head.” Remus stood up.

Sirius watched him, turning in their seat a little. “Okay. I will. It’s okay, there’s nothing  _ wrong _ with not wanting to for a while, I just notice it, is all.”

“I know there’s nothing wrong with it! I’m not upset about that! I’m upset you’re feeling this way about yourself.”

“Okay, okay.” Sirius bit their lip, standing up too. “I don’t feel that way, I just worry that others might sometimes, but when you tell me you don’t think that, I stop worrying about it.”

“Who else would even know? It’s just you and me here, Sirius. So you either feel that way or I either feel that way.” He stopped pacing.

“I worry you feel that way. But now you’ve told me you don’t, it’s okay. I just needed reassurance, Remus, I don’t need it all pulling apart.”

“Okay, fine.” He went back to the sofa. “What should we watch?”

“I don’t mind,” Sirius said a little meekly, sad they’d sort of ruined it. “Bake Off?”

“Yep.”

Sirius turned towards him, putting a hand on his knee. “Remus I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine Sirius.” He reached for the remote again. “Your feelings are valid.”

“They’re upsetting you though.”

“I’m okay, I’d rather know how you feel.” He turned the TV on.

“Can we go upstairs?”

“You can, I wanted to watch whatever on TV.”

Sirius shifted. “I meant to the pole room.”

“I’m not in the mood.” Remus stared at the TV, looking for something to put on.

“Okay,” Sirius said, sighing. Today had been so lovely with Teddy’s birthday, and then Sirius had wanted to just voice that quiet concern from the back of their mind and ruined it. “Would you mind if I went to dance for a while?”

“No, go ahead. If that’s what you need.”

Sirius just nodded, standing from the sofa and pausing to look at Remus for a moment. His jaw was set and he was sitting up straight, not relaxed at all. “What I need is you,” Sirius said softly, biting their lip.

“Then stay here. Whatever makes you feel better.” Remus shrugged.

“Right.” Sirius let out a breath, trying not to react at Remus shrugging. They were working on being less reactionary, Poppy would be proud. “I’ll be upstairs then,” they said, turning on their heel and starting up towards the pole room.

They heard Remus mumble something but couldn’t make it out as they were halfway up the stairs. Sirius paused, turning around. “Pardon?”

He let out an audible breath. “I’d rather you in my lap, but I understand why you’d want to be away from me right now.”

“I--what?” Sirius hurried back down the stairs and into the living room. “Why would I want to be away from you? I was giving you space because I’d annoyed you.”

“You didn’t annoy me, Sirius.”

“I thought I did,” they said, skirting back around to the sofa.

“Okay, maybe I was annoyed, but not with you really. I’m annoyed with myself because I don’t see these things.” Remus tossed the remote aside.

“Don’t see that we’re not playing so much recently? God knows you’ve had other things on your mind, Remus.”

“I know, but it makes us both feel better when we do it. I also don’t like how you think you’re a cock hungry whore.”

“I don’t think I am. I worry that you do sometimes, when I’m like this. But you reassure me that you don’t and then I feel okay.” Sirius stood in front of him, biting their lip. “What can I do to make it better?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: non-enthusiastic consent warning

Remus was annoyed with himself mostly because he hated when he let Sirius feel this way about themselves. They shouldn’t feel bad because they wanted something that they both enjoyed. He didn’t mean to get so outwardly angry about it, but he felt so volatile lately with everything going on. With what was happening, Remus was just in his head so much even though he was doing his best to not be. Not to mention that with the investigation going on he put something that made him feel good on the back burner.

“Come sit down on my lap.” He looked up at them.

Sirius shifted a little before they stepped forward and perched gingerly on his knee, watching him carefully. He huffed, pulling them to sit properly in his lap. “Ah… hi,” they murmured, putting their hands on his shoulders.

“When you’re feeling this way, you need to bring it up sooner.”

“Okay. I hadn’t been thinking of it for long at all. Just this conversation, really.”

“You are not allowed to think of yourself that way.” Remus knew that was a ridiculous thing to say, but he hated Sirius thinking anything but good of themselves.

Sirius looked at him for a moment, their grey eyes wide, before they nodded. “Yes Daddy.”

“You’re everything to me and I love you. You’re perfect and give me everything I need, princess.”

They smiled a little wider, biting their lip. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Put your head on my lap.” Remus instructed them.

They didn’t pause at all, shifting to the side so they could stretch out along the rest of the sofa and rest their head on his thigh, looking up at him. “Like this?”

“Yes.” He started to run his fingers through their hair. Sirius gave a soft hum, their eyes closing.

“I love you.”

“I love you too princess.” Remus slid his hand from their hair to trace down their jaw.

Sirius seemed to relax, turning their head to press a little kiss to the top of his thigh. His finger ran under their lip before pressing against their pout.

“You’ve the nicest mouth.”

“Yeah?” Sirius hummed, smiling up at him as the tip of their tongue stroked over the pad of Remus’ finger.

“Yeah, it’s perfect. It’s the best.” He pushed two fingers into their mouth and pet over their tongue. Sirius groaned softly in response, tipping their chin up as one hand came to grip around Remus’ wrist. Their mouth, like always, felt divine. “You’re so good princess.” He let out a little satisfied noise.

They blinked up at him, squirming a little as they held tighter onto his wrist and slid their tongue between his fingers, sucking harder. He smiled down at them as his other hand slipped to their skirt to palm over their cock. Sirius’ eyes fluttered shut, their hips lifting up as they moaned around his fingers, sucking harder.

“That’s it princess.” Remus’ hand went under their skirt and played with the waistband of their briefs. They bobbed their head, taking Remus’ fingers down to the knuckles with seemingly no gag reflex as they shuddered. “Do you still wanna go up to the playroom?”

Sirius nodded, their tongue curling around his fingers.

“Can you move?” He laughed. “Would it be easier to stay here?”

They paused a moment before pulling back to speak. “Depends what Daddy wants to do to me. I’ll go wherever you want.”

“Mmm, I just want to make you feel good.” He moved his hand out from under their skirt.

“Can we go upstairs? We haven’t—haven’t been there recently.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Remus leaned down and kissed their forehead.

Sirius smiled, leaning into the touch before they climbed from his lap. They looked a little flushed and their erection was so obvious beneath their skirt. Remus stood up and wrapped his arm around their waist, leading them towards the stairs then up. Sirius leaned into him, heading into the playroom and turning on the low lights.

Remus closed the door behind them, after making sure the baby gate was up on the stairs once more. “Get undressed.”

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius murmured, crossing their arms over their stomach to pull their tank top off in one fluid motion.

“You look so pretty today, princess -- not that you don’t look nice everyday.” Remus took a seat on the sofa.

Sirius squirmed, dropping their top on the floor as they smiled. Their hands then fell to the waistband of their skirt to push it down too. He wasn’t sure what he wanted Sirius to do, he wasn’t feeling sexual at all, but he wanted to make sure Sirius felt good about their dynamic and themselves.

“Get the lube then come back to my lap.”

“Yes Daddy.” Sirius crossed to the trunk, quickly unlocking it and grabbing a bottle before coming back to stand in front of Remus. They were still wearing their briefs, looking so pretty.

“In my lap, princess.” Remus held out a hand.

Sirius bit their lip, climbing into Remus’ lap with their arms around his neck. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He smiled then kissed them softly before taking the lube.

“I love you,” Sirius murmured into the kiss.

“I love you.” He palmed them through their briefs again.

Sirius tipped their chin back, moaning. “Ah, god.”

Remus tried not to squirm himself, but in a different way from how Sirius was probably squirming. He reached for the lube, dropping his hand. “You’re so perfect.”

They bit their lip, watching him with their chest rising and falling. “I love you.”

“I love you so much.” Remus poured some lube on to his hand before he pulled Sirius’ cock out of their briefs.

Sirius let out a breath, shuddering. “God, I love you.”

Remus smiled, wrapping a hand around them as he watched their face. They leaned in and kissed him softly, one hand cupping his cheek. He sighed into the kiss, twisting his wrist on the upstroke, ignoring the feeling in his stomach. After a moment, Sirius pulled back from the kiss, looking at Remus for a moment, their head cocked to the side.

“Come back here and kiss me.” He didn’t stop stroking them, running his thumb over the head.

“Ah… ‘kay. You okay?” Sirius breathed, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth.

“I’m perfect, princess. You feel so good.” He ran his other hand through their hair, pulling it slightly.

“Fuck, yeah. I love you, I love you,” Sirius mumbled, kissing him again in short little bursts.

“I love you too.” He focused on the kisses, gripping them firmer. “I love you so much princess.”

They shuddered, eyes closing as they pressed against him, moaning softly into the kiss. He pulled their hair a little more, nipping at their lip.”Ah, I’m--Can I?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Remus kissed them again, closing his eyes tight and not stopping his hand.

“Fuck, yeah-- _ ah _ ,” Sirius whimpered as they came, hips canting forwards against Remus’ touch, body tensing and clenching.

“You’re… you’re so good princess.” He kissed them through it, finally dropping his hand once they started to still a little. Sirius broke the kiss to bury their face in his neck, panting a little. “Better?”

Remus felt Sirius nod as they relaxed. “Yeah. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He rubbed their back with his clean hand.

Sirius pulled back again to look at him, something in their eyes, then snagged up their shirt and used it to wipe Remus’ hand clean, still breathing hard.

“Do you need anything?” Remus asked, leaning back a little.

“No. Do you?”

“No, I’m good. Just a cuddle.” He smiled.

Sirius bit their lip. “You’re okay?”

“I’m fine, princess, are you?” Remus played with their hair.

“I’m okay. I love you.”

“Good.” He rested his head on their shoulder.

Sirius turned their head and kissed his temple. “It’s a miracle Teddy is still asleep.”

“He’s tired from all the excitement today. We should wake him up so he’s not all thrown off with his sleep.” Remus pressed a kiss to their skin.

“Mm, that’s true.”

“Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll do that?” He ran his hand up and down their back one more time.

“Sure,” Sirius said, kissing him softly before climbing out of his lap and stretching onto their toes for a moment.

“Then we can go cuddle down stairs? Try to keep him awake before dinner?” He swallowed the lump in his throat as he stood up.

“That sounds wonderful.” Sirius gave him a genuine smile as they grabbed their clothes. “I’m going to clean up, I’ll see you downstairs?”

“Perfect.” Remus kissed them on the cheek then left the room.

Taking a few deep breaths, he headed towards Teddy’s room at the other end of the hallway. It was stupid to be upset over something he could have stopped at any moment. All he needed was to say waffles, but he didn’t. He just wanted things to be  _ normal _ , even if it was just for a little while.

“Come on annwyl.” Remus cleared his throat as he opened the door to the nursery. “Time to wake up.”

Teddy gave a little gurgle from his crib, but he was still sound asleep. When Remus picked him up he let out a noise then cuddled against him.

“I know, I know, you’re tired, but we got to stay awake, right? It’s nearly time to eat.”

“Dada,” Teddy mumbled then started to cry.

“It’s okay, love.” He rubbed his back.

“Bed.”

“Not yet.” Remus carried him towards the stairs, moving the gate out of his way.

When he got downstairs, he put the TV back on and sat on the sofa. He moved Teddy to sit up in his lap. He looked so sleepy.

“How about we play a game?”

“No.” Teddy looked grumpy.

“All right, we’ll just sit here.” Remus watched Snuffles trot over to the sofa. “Hey buddy.”

Snuffles sniffed at Teddy then promptly licked at his foot. Teddy giggled.

“Yeah, the puppy makes you feel better, huh?” He laughed, as he heard Sirius coming down the stairs.

Snuffles kept licking at them both even as Sirius appeared in the living room, in their skirt and a hoodie now it was getting a little cooler. “Hey buddy, what are you doing?”

“PADA!” Teddy clapped.

“Hey little one!” Sirius’ face lit up, grinning ear to ear. “Did you have a good nap?”

Teddy squealed and held out his arms for them. “Pada!”

Remus smiled, holding Teddy out to them. “I think I’m going to hop in the shower, do you mind?”

Sirius scooped Teddy up, bouncing him around. “Not at all. Are you hungry?”

“No, I ate too many sweets I think. Maybe later.” He kissed Teddy on the cheek before standing up.

“Alright. Take your time in the shower caro.”

Remus nodded then headed back upstairs. He grabbed his pjs then went into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. As he tried to take some deep breaths, feeling a little panicky, he hooked his phone up to the bluetooth and put on some music. He started the shower trying not to think about what Sirius would feel like if they knew how he felt. They would be so upset, but he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

As soon as he was undressed he hopped in the shower and stood underneath the spray with his eyes closed. He listened to the music, getting himself to relax in the humid heat of the bathroom. This whole thing was ridiculous. It wasn’t a big deal because he was fine and he was in control the whole time. Sirius didn’t pressure him into it, he wanted to make them feel good. Now he was just in his head and couldn’t get out again.

Once he felt okay, Remus got out of the shower, changed, and then headed back downstairs.

Sirius was on the floor with Teddy, stacking blocks. They looked up and smiled at him, though it seemed to flicker for a moment. “Hi.”

“Hi. Do you want me to make you two dinner?” Remus asked, looking towards the kitchen.

“Nah, I think I gorged myself on sweets too. There’s some mashed potato and chicken in the fridge for Teddy though?”

“Yeah, I’ll fix it for him.” He smiled before heading into the kitchen.

A few moments later, Sirius appeared in the doorway. “You sure you’re okay, Remus?”

“Yeah, love.” He took out the leftovers. “Why?”

“I don’t feel like you are. You feel off.”

Remus frowned as he got out one of Teddy’s little sectioned plates. Damn Sirius for knowing him so well at times like this. He just wanted to move on. “I’m all right.”

Sirius sighed, crossing their arms. “Okay.”

“Want to put the monster in his chair?” Remus kept his back to Sirius as he started to dish out the food.

Sirius didn’t say anything, just went back into the living room to scoop up Teddy, who had a bit of a cry about not playing with blocks, until he realised he was going to get food. They put him in his chair and sat next to him, settling him down. “Here, you have got some mashed potato and chicken coming up, isn’t that your favourite, piccolino?”

Teddy babbled away, hitting the tray of his seat.

“It sure is.” Remus set the microwave for a little then turned to look at Teddy.

Teddy shrieked and hit the tray again, grinning at him.

“You’re so funny.” He leaned against the counter.

Sirius smiled, leaning their chin on their palm as they watched Teddy.

“We’ve got to sort through his gifts.” Remus thought about the pile of toys and clothes and whatever else a child could need in the corner of the living room.

“Yeah, we can do it at some point.”

“Maybe after he’s fed?” He turned back to the microwave, feeling like if he looked at Sirius too much he’d give it away.

Sirius was quiet for a moment longer before Remus heard their chair shifting. “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”

Remus swallowed again, pulling out the dish. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I’m all right, Sirius.”

“Okay.”

He nodded as he stirred the potatoes with the little plastic fork before Remus took a seat at the table to feed Teddy. “Here we go Teddy.”

Teddy squealed and grabbed his fork, stabbing it into the potatoes.

“Silly.” Remus watched him, head on his hand. “Isn’t he, Pada?”

Sirius smiled. “He’s so silly. Going to be a great drummer, I reckon.”

“Mmm, probably.” He nodded.

“Are you going to tell me yet?”

“There’s nothing to tell you, Sirius. It’s just the same stuff I’ve been thinking about since we started this thing with Fenrir.” Remus watched Teddy munch on some chicken.

“There’s something different going on, Remus. I can see it on your face.” Sirius leaned forward, folding their arms on the table.

“I’m telling you that there’s not.” He shook his head.

“Okay.”


	11. Chapter 11

Sirius let out a sigh as they sat on the sofa, Teddy finally settled for the evening. They knew something was wrong with Remus, but he was absolutely refusing to say what it was. Sirius was frustrated, because he was so closed up. They had asked him so many times if he was okay, and he had said yes, so what else could they do? 

“How can one little thing need so many clothes?” Remus was sorting through the gifts, insisting on doing so now instead of waiting. “He doesn’t even spit up as much as he did when he was a tiny baby.”

“Right? So, so many clothes.” Sirius put their chin on their palm, watching him.

“We did get a lot of books too, that’s good. He loves when we read to them.” Remus sounded as if he was trying to fill up the silence.

“He’s going to be a bookworm just like his Dada.”

“I love these little Austen books that Alice found.” He grabbed one of them.

“They are beautiful. He’s going to treasure them.”

“Though, the  _ Goodnight Mr Darcy _ is pretty funny. Marlene must have really searched for that one.”

“I bet she did,” Sirius said.

“I wonder where she got it.”

“I don’t know, caro.”

“I’ll have to ask her, I bet they’ve got some good books.”

“I’d really like if you told me what’s wrong, Remus.”

Remus fell silent, still sorting through Teddy’s gifts. “Sirius, there’s nothing wrong that hasn’t been wrong.”

“I’m really sorry, Remus, but I don’t believe you. You’ve been off all day and I have known you long enough to know when you’re upset.” Sirius bit their lip, shifting in their seat.

“I thought we had a good day for his birthday.” He slumped his shoulders, facing away from Sirius.

“We had a good day, so did Teddy. So what happened after? When we got off?”

“Nothing, it felt good doing that, we haven’t done it in a while.” Remus shook his head.

“I don’t believe you. I thought something was wrong whilst we were upstairs, but I thought you would tell me if something  _ was _ wrong. Seeing as we had a conversation just a few hours ago about speaking up when things felt wrong.” Sirius sighed.

“And I would, Sirius. Why are you trying to make me say something is wrong when it’s not?” Remus’ voice wavered.

“Because I know you feel awful about something,” Sirius said softly, shifting off the sofa to sit next to him.

“Drop, Sirius, it’s okay. Please.”

They fell silent, biting their lip hard. Why didn’t Remus trust them? Why couldn’t he speak to them and tell them what he was thinking? They  _ knew _ something was wrong; they could read it on his face.

“Thank you.” He let out a breath. “We’re going to have to donate some of his baby stuff, I think.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Didn’t James and Lily say they wanted to adopt again at some point soon? We can just make some kind of baby clothes donation circle between us all.” Sirius tried to inject a bit of  _ something _ into their voice, but they couldn’t stop thinking about how Remus couldn’t trust them.

“Yeah, we should -- we should do that. I’d say we give Mare some of Teddy’s things for Luna, but her and Pete only use perfectly natural things.” Remus set the clothes he had folded aside.

“Yeah.”

“Should we try to watch something now since we didn’t get to earlier?” He asked.

“Whatever you want caro.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked down at his hands.

“No need to apologise if nothing is wrong.”

“Right.” He pushed himself off the ground.

“Right.” Sirius felt like they wanted to scream or cry. Why didn’t Remus trust them? Something was wrong and he couldn’t tell them. Had they overstepped some kind of boundary of his and had no idea? Why couldn’t they just  _ tell? _ They were his spouse for god’s sake, so why couldn’t they figure it out? 

“Want to put something on and I can get us some wine?”

“Yeah, I’ll find something.” Sirius reached over for the remote.

Remus disappeared into the kitchen without saying anything else. Sirius groaned and put their head on the arm of the sofa. What had they done wrong?

A minute later there was a crash and Remus swore. “Fucking, shite.”

“Need some help?” Sirius wanted to say  _ what’s wrong _ but it felt like Remus wasn’t capable of answering that question today. 

“Can you get the broom?”

“Yep.” Sirius heaved themselves off the sofa, trying not to shout about how Remus could just handle it himself like he handled everything else and didn’t want Sirius involved at all. They padded to the cupboard to grab the broom before going back to the kitchen. They lingered at the edge, wary of any broken glass. “Here caro.”

Thanks.” Remus took the broom. “I broke one of the good glasses.”

“We can always get another.” Sirius stepped back a little. “Did you just slip?”

“Yeah.” He swept up the glass carefully.

Sirius nodded, letting out a breath. Yelling at Remus wouldn’t do anything, as much as that was what they wanted to do. That never helped before.

“Earlier… I…” Remus was still concentrating on the ground, making sure to get all the glass into a small pile.

Sirius went very still, watching Remus as they waited with baited breath for him to continue.

“I… I should have stopped.”

“What did I do wrong?” Sirius asked softly, biting their lip.

“You didn’t do anything wrong at all, Sirius.” Remus shook his head. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“So what was happening?”

“I just felt -- I didn’t want to have sex or anything, but I also wanted the control of the situation at the same time and I wanted to give you something.” He popped the dustpan off the handle and bent down to sweep up the pile.

“And you carried on even though you didn’t want to?” Sirius’ heart dropped.

“Don’t freak out, please. This is why I didn’t want to say anything. Please, Sirius. It’s me that wanted to do this.” Remus straightened up.

Sirius bit their lip, shifting on the spot like they wanted to walk away but they couldn’t. “But I forced you into doing something you didn’t want. Because you felt like you had to give it to me.”

“You didn’t force me into  _ anything _ .” Remus opened the bin and dumped the glass in.

“Well when you say you didn’t want to but you did it anyway because you felt like you had to then that sure as shit sounds like forcing to me, Remus!”

He dropped the broom and dustpan, and they clattered on the floor. “I am the one who chose to do it, you didn’t force me at all.”

Sirius flinched at the noise, hoping it wouldn’t wake Teddy up. “Christ, Remus, why didn’t you say something at the time? I  _ knew _ something was wrong I should’ve safeworded.  _ You _ should’ve safeworded!”

“I know I should have but I didn’t, I fucked up. I shouldn’t have told you.” Remus leaned against the counter.

“No, you should’ve told me an hour ago! You should’ve told me when you had your hand on my dick and were probably wishing you could be anywhere else!” Sirius threw their hands up. Now they had done something they swore they would never do. Fuck, they felt like  _ Fenrir _ for gods sake.

“I’m sorry. I fucked up.”

Sirius slumped against the door. “Did you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

“I knew I could tell you, I just didn’t want to because I wanted to do it -- I thought I could do it.”

“That’s… that feels worse, Remus,” Sirius said sadly. “You know… ah, I don’t even know what to say.”

“I understand.” Remus rubbed his face. “I betrayed your trust and I fucked it up.”

Sirius sighed. “I need to shower.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Okay.”

“Leave the dishes I’ll do them tomorrow.” Sirius ran a hand through their hair before turning towards the stairs. They felt filthy, and in the worst way. They needed to get this off. They wanted to scream and shout with how awful they felt as they climbed the stairs and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on.

Remus felt like he didn’t trust them. Remus felt like he  _ had _ to have sex with them to make them happy and that made Sirius want to fucking vomit. They stripped off and stepped into the shower, standing under it for what felt like the longest time. They just felt  _ awful _ . They could tell something was off whilst they were in the playroom, so why didn’t they stop it?

At some point, Remus came into the bathroom. “I’m just brushing my teeth.”

“Okay.” Sirius leaned against the wall of the shower, closing their eyes.

“This feels like something we can’t fix.” He reached for his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Sirius chewed their lip for a moment before answering. “I’ll get over myself in a minute. Just… give me a minute. I guess I understand why you didn’t say?” That didn’t feel true at all, but they couldn’t handle Remus not feeling like he could say anything, so acting like nothing was wrong seemed best.

“I don’t think that’s true.” Remus turned the tap on for a second then began brushing his teeth.

“Well what else do you expect me to do, Remus?”

Remus shrugged as he had the toothbrush in his mouth. After a moment his spat into the sink then straightened up. “Yeah, I don’t know. I’m going to sleep on the sofa to give you some space.”

Sirius slumped. “Whatever you want.”

“Yeah…” He rinsed his mouth.

“I don’t particularly want any more space because this—” Sirius gestured between them— “feels like enough space already. But if that’s what you want.”

“I’m just giving you the time to think and breathe. That’s what you need you said.” Remus started towards the door.

Sirius shut off the shower, watching him. “I said just give me a minute. Not sleep on the sofa like we need fucking couples counselling or something.”

“Sorry.” He paused for a moment then walked into their bedroom.

_ Fuck. _ Sirius rubbed their hands over their face, wondering how this had gone so wrong. They’d told him not to sleep on the sofa, but now they were tempted to do that themselves.

After a moment, they stepped out and dried off before going into the bedroom. The bed was empty. Sirius let out a sigh, biting their lip. Fuck. They didn’t want to sleep by themselves. They didn’t want Remus to sleep on the sofa. They needed to fix this. Sirius pulled on their pyjamas then started down the stairs.

Remus was on the sofa, covered by the fuzzy blanket they kept on the back of it with an extra pillow under his head. The TV was playing some old movie softly in the background, giving the room some light. He had his back to Sirius, and didn’t move when Sirius walked in. They skirted around the sofa and sat on the end by Remus’ feet, sighing softly. He pulled his legs up a little and sniffled.

“I’m sorry I got angry.”

“It’s fine. You had every right to. I betrayed your trust. You didn’t do anything wrong and reacted just like I expected you to.” Remus buried his face into the cushions.

“I should have stopped when I thought something was wrong when we were upstairs. I just… don’t understand why you felt you had to? I’d hope I’ve never made you feel like that.”

“You’ve never had.”

Sirius bit their lip. “Except for now.”

“Except never. It wasn’t you. This is why I didn’t want to say anything because you’d blame yourself. I fucked up. I ruined things here. You did nothing wrong.” He sniffled again.

“I just want to understand why you didn’t say at the time.”

“Because I wanted to make both of us feel good and it didn’t work.”

“Why on earth would you feel good if you didn’t want to do it?” Sirius ran a hand through their wet hair. “There are so many things we could’ve done otherwise. You could’ve talked me through something, or you could’ve told me to do something not sexual. Or you could’ve said you didn’t want to do anything at all.”

“I know, okay? I know, but I didn’t.”

Sirius nodded. “Right.”

Remus stayed silent and didn’t move.

“So what can we do? How can I make you feel better?”

“I don’t know what we can do, Sirius. I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to fix this. I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way.”

“You don’t need to apologise. I’m just sad that you didn’t do that?” Sirius sat back, huffing.

Remus nodded, his fingers running over the blanket. “I still hurt you too, so I’m sorry.”

After a moment, Sirius reached out a hand for his, biting their lip. Remus put his hand on theirs.

“I’ll sleep here tonight.”

“I don’t want that, caro. I don’t like sleeping without you.”

Remus shifted a bit. “I want to give you space.”

“I don’t want space from you.” Sirius squeezed his hand, sighing.

He squeezed back, not answering.

“But if that’s what  _ you _ need.”

“I don’t know what I need, but I feel like I should sleep here tonight.” Remus rubbed his thumb over their knuckles.

“Okay.” Sirius kissed his knuckles, leaving their mouth pressed there for a moment.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They kissed his knuckles again. “I’m going upstairs then. If… if you change your mind, please come to bed? Our bed is lonely without you.”

“Yeah.” Remus’ voice sounded thick.

“I love you. So much. I… I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I’m sorry that you felt like that.” They stood up, leaning in to kiss him on the forehead. “I’ll leave the fairy lights on so it’s not dark if you come up.”

Remus didn’t reply.

Sirius’ feet felt heavy as they climbed the stairs back to the bedroom. They did leave the fairy lights on, and the door open. The baby monitor was on the side with Teddy fast asleep on the little screen, too. Everything seemed normal. Sirius didn’t want to sleep, they weren’t sure if they  _ could.  _ So instead, they did a few stretches, trying to not think and just take their mind off everything.


	12. Chapter 12

The fact that they had betrayed Sirius’ trust in something they had worked so hard at building, had hurt more than the fact he pushed himself through sex when he didn’t want it. It was all shit and it was all his fault. Sirius did seem to understand, but he wondered how they were going to really most past it all.

Remus wiped a hand over his face and rolled over on the sofa after Sirius made their way upstairs. It was stupid if he stayed on the sofa. Sirius didn’t need it either. They said they didn’t at least. He hoped that it was really okay, and they weren’t just saying it. He got off the sofa and walked up to the bedroom.

Sirius was in bed, sitting up and stretching to touch their toes. They looked up at him, biting their lip. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Remus went over to his side of the bed then climbed in.

“I’m glad you came up.” Sirius straightened up, smiling softly.

“Yeah.” He crawled under the covers, not sure what to do or say.

They shuffled down the bed and under the covers. “Can we cuddle?”

“Sure.” Remus moved a little closer to them. Sirius shifted closer and wrapped their arms around his middle. The fairy lights were on but that was okay, they were dim enough and the switch was right by the bed. Remus had a feeling neither of them wanted to sleep anyway.

“You can be little spoon, if you want.”

“Mmm.” He closed his eyes.

Sirius moved closer, pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder as they cuddled up against him, but not too close. Remus had a feeling they were keeping an appropriate amount of space between their hips.

He sniffled again, biting his lip because he didn’t want to say anything because he was so afraid to mess things up again. The amount of times he had been the one to screw things up in their relationship was far more than Sirius.

“I love you so much,” Sirius murmured, their forehead pressed against Remus’ shoulder, their arms tight around his middle. “I still love you, no matter what happens.”

“I love you too.”

Sirius sighed. “Talk to me?”

“About what, so I can fuck things up again? I just want to sleep.” Remus kept his voice quiet, closing his eyes.

Sirius flinched. “Okay. Sleep well, caro.”

“You’re never going to trust me again -- not when it comes to sex.”

“I don’t feel that way.” Sirius paused, their arms still around his waist. “I trust you. I’m sad but I still trust you because I’d really hope next time you tell me.”

Remus didn’t believe it, but he didn’t want to accuse them of feeling a certain way.

“If you know it’s fucked up and next time you still don’t tell me if you do something you don’t want? I… don’t do that, please.”

“I did it once already though. I could do it again and not tell you.” He shifted away from Sirius more.

There was silence for a few moments. “Would you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to, but what if I did?”

Sirius audibly swallowed. “I don’t know how I’d feel. Because that’s really upsetting to me, that you would feel as if you had to. And when you know it ended like this, this time, and might do it again? I… I don’t know, Remus.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Remus sat up.

“Have you done it before? Swallowed it down and just, what, laid back and thought of Queen and country?” 

“No.” He shook his head.

Sirius nodded sharply. “Okay. Good.”

“I’ve never done it before but…” He ran a hand through his hair.

“But?”

“But I did it once and I made you feel like utter shit and I’m still worried about doing it again and I’m worried that you don’t really trust me.” He felt tears in his eyes again.

“I trust you. If you say you’ve only felt that way once, then I believe you. If you say you don’t want it to happen again then I believe that too. I do feel like shit, but you do too.”

“I never want to hurt you and I do and I… I hate that I do. I’ve said I’d never stay in my head and I’ve done it over and over. I don’t get why you want to trust me.” Remus wiped his eyes.

Sirius’ hand fell to his shoulder. “Because I love you.”

“Even when I hurt you?”

“That’s what relationships do. I love you. Regardless of anything I love and trust you. You’re my husband, it’s our atoms. We have a son, Remus. This is my whole life and I love it. I’m just… I’m not hurt, I’m  _ sad. _ I’m sad that you did that to yourself.” Sirius’ voice sounded a little thick.

“I made you feel like shit.” He shook his head. “Just because we love each other…”

“You didn’t hurt me, you made me sad, Remus. I’m so sad you hurt yourself and made yourself do something you didn’t want and then blamed yourself for it.” Their fingers dug into his arm. “I’m not going to let you leave me.”

“That’s not healthy either.” He sniffled.

“I don’t give a shit. I’m not going to let you leave me over this. You’re not fucking—you’re not fucking abandoning me.”

“I’m not -- I’m not…”

“It feels like you are, or like you want to. I trust you, I love you.”

“I don’t trust myself because I’ve done this to you over and over and over again. It’s not fair to you.” He let out a sob then covered his mouth.

Sirius squeezed an arm around his waist, their own breathing hitching. “You haven’t. This is—this is just how relationships are, Remus. I need you here loving me.”

“I’m so scared because it’s always the same reason why I hurt you. I can’t fix things, no matter how hard I try.” He pulled his legs up to his chest. “I’m scared that one day you’re going to get sick of me hurting you the same way and you’re going to leave me.”

“I’m not going to leave. Ever. You think I don’t worry about the same thing? You ever think I don’t worry about you getting fed up with my needy, clingy shit? Or that I don’t think I’m going to overstep every mark and fuck things up too?” Sirius apparently refused to move their arm from around his waist. “We just trust that we love each other and this is more important.”

“I’m the one that blows it up to this kind of fight though -- every time. You’ve grown so -- so much and I -- I haven’t. I’m still stuck in my head and I’m still not dealing with my feelings right. I’ve pushed and pulled you down with me.” He tried to move, but Sirius wouldn’t let him go.

“Bullshit have you not grown.” Sirius sounded so stern all of a sudden. “You’ve stood you to Fenrir, you’re pressing charges for fucks sake. You talk to your mam about feelings. And usually we have a great sex life. The man who was too scared to ask for a blowjob four years ago is so far away. Bullshit have you not grown Remus Lupin-Black. Bull fucking shit.”

“And yet we’re having the same fight.” Remus let out another sob-like sound. “It just feels like one day it’s going to happen.”

“That I’m going to leave? I’m not going to leave, Remus. We’re mid-fight and I’m still saying that I’ve not going to leave.”

He buried his face in his hands as there was a cry over the baby monitor. “Fuck, fuck.” He tried to gather himself. “I got it.” He tried to move out of Sirius’ grip.

Sirius sighed, dropping their arm. “Come back, when he’s settled.”

“Yeah.” Remus sniffled, getting out of bed as Teddy called out for them both.

“I’ll come with you, if he wants us both.” Sirius climbed out of bed too, sounding so weary.

“He always wants us both… I’m not going anywhere.” Remus wiped his eyes once more then headed for Teddy’s room.

Sirius followed him in and over to Teddy’s crib. “Hi piccolino. It’s alright.”

Remus went to open his mouth as he rubbed Teddy’s back, but burst into tears. “God, I love you Teddy. Okay. Pada’s got you.” He sniffled, kissing his forehead before leaving the room again. He didn’t want to lose this all, but he was so terrified that he didn’t deserve any of it when he felt like he wasn’t getting any better. Some days it was hard to remember that recovery wasn’t always easy or straight forward — no matter how far he’d come.

Sirius stayed in Teddy’s room, and Remus could hear them shushing and murmuring to Teddy. “Dada and me love you so much, piccolino. Our precious little monster.”

He sat on the edge of the bed on Sirius’ side, watching the monitor through his tears. Why was he like this sometimes? Why couldn’t he accept that Sirius was there and loved him and trusted him even when he fucked up?

Sirius was bouncing Teddy, walking around in a little circle. Even though their voice was all tiny through the monitor, it still sounded teary. “Dada just gets caught up sometimes. He loves us both so much, you know? He thinks he needs to be perfect, but it’s okay when we make mistakes, isn’t it Teddy? When you fall over or throw your yoghurt melts at Pada for the fiftieth time this week, that’s okay. I still love you. Same with Dada, hm? He doesn’t need to be perfect, because he’s just wonderful how he is, isn't he?” 

Remus sniffled again, wiping his eyes as he started to calm down a bit.

“The most we can do is try, hm?” Sirius paused for a moment, pressing their mouth to the top of Teddy’s head. “God, I love you you beautiful little thing. You are so loved, and that will never change.” 

He took a few deep breaths then stood up again, going back to Teddy’s room. “That’s right, we’ll always love you and be here for you, annywl.” He cleared his throat, leaning against the door frame looking at them.

Teddy was all cuddled up against Sirius’ chest, and blinked sleepily at him, a little smile on his face.

“Dada’s right,” Sirius murmured, looking over to Remus.

Teddy’s eyes closed again, staying closed for a few minutes this time, not stirring. “He’s asleep,” Remus murmured.

“Yeah.” Sirius gently moved Teddy, tucking him back into his crib.

He rubbed his temple before holding a hand out to Sirius. Without a moment's pause, they slipped their hand into his and squeezed. They were quiet until they were back in their room, shutting the door behind them.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, resting his head against Sirius’ shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all of tonight. It just hurts me when I do this to you over and over.”

Sirius had their arms tight around Remus. “I know, and I hate that you’re hurting.”

“I don’t like upsetting you. I’ll try, okay? I’ll try to do even better than I have been.” Remus sniffled. “Thinking about living a life with you not being in it everyday is more painful than anything.”

“I don’t want you to not be here. I just… just tell me, even if it’s scary and hurts, just tell me what’s happening in your head.”

“Sometimes I forget that I can. Not as much as I used to… right?” He lifted his head up to look at them.

Sirius dropped a light kiss to his lips. “You can always tell me. Fuck every other bastard in your past that told you to just stay quiet. I will always want to hear what you say.”

“I know.” He rubbed his face. “I really don’t want to leave you.”

Sirius smiled just a little. “I don’t want you to leave either.”

“Can we go cuddle now, for real? Without you keeping your crotch an appropriate amount away from me.”

“Ha…” Sirius pulled back a little. “Yes. I’d like that.”

After that, things were a little better. It felt better everyday, and Remus didn’t feel like a complete arsehole who lost Sirius’ trust. Sirius and he had multiple conversations about the night, and talked to Poppy together. She encouraged them to keep up to communication and helped them open some parts up a little more. It was good, and Remus felt better and Sirius did too.

The weeks passed by somewhat quickly. Remus was glad that he didn’t have to go see Moody again, but he was stressed about what was happening with Fenrir. They did their best to keep busy, and focus on their family and their relationship. Teddy was growing so much, and even took his first steps a few weeks after his birthday. Remus was a little sad that he wasn’t a baby anymore and a full fledged toddler, but he was also thrilled to watch him grow.

Soon enough it was August, and their anniversary was creeping up on them. Remus wanted to do something nice for the day, but still wasn’t sure what to do for it. He was thinking it over on a slow morning at PureFit, leaning on the desk as he watched one of his regulars climb. As he did, the door to the arena swung open and he straightened up.

_ Fuck _ . It was Fenrir, again. The bastard couldn’t help showing his face, could he. Remus tapped on the counter and turned to Fabian. “Call the cops.”

Fabian jerked up from looking at the computer, then looked over to Fenrir. “Oh fucking shitbag, not  _ you _ .” He grabbed his phone and jabbed at it.

“Hey Re. No kid this time?”

“What do you want?” Remus narrowed his eyes.

“Well. I had a visit from the cops last week. Apparently you’re still upset with me over some little fights or whatever you think happened.” Fenrir leaned against the desk, crossing his arms.

Remus clenched his jaw. “Little fights, yeah.” He scoffed. “Right.”

“Not what you’d call ‘em, Re?”

Remus could hear Fabian talking on the phone, giving their address. “Yeah. Fenrir Greyback. Yeah, just get here before I punch him, eh?”

“No, not what I’d call them at all. I can’t believe you’re here -- no, no I can because you think nothing can touch you.”

Fenrir had the  _ audacity _ to smile and shrug. “Here I was just trying to catch up with you.”

“Catch up with me? How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to catch up with you?” Remus’ stomach was twisting, and he just wanted to call Sirius.

“You never seem to know what you want, Re, so forgive me if I don’t take your word for it.”

“Never seem to know what I want? I’ve literally told you to fuck off a million times.” He glared at Fenrir.

Fabian skirted around the desk. “I am escorting you the fuck out of here before the police get here or my dear friend punches you in the face.”

“We’re just talking, mate.” Fenrir held up his hands. “Police?”

“Yeah, the people you had a chat with.” Remus rolled his eyes.

A dark cloud passed over Fenrir’s face as he stepped forward. “No need for that, Re,” he said darkly.

“You’re finally getting what you deserve,  _ Fen _ .” Remus didn’t budge.

Fabian put a hand on Fenrir’s arm, pushing him not so gently towards the doors. Fenrir sneered at Fabian and pulled his arm out of the other man’s grip, starting towards the doors.

Remus slumped back against the desk, letting out a long breath as he went through the doors. He picked up his phone from where he had set it early and called Sirius.

It took a few rings before they answered. “Hi caro.”

“Hi love, don’t freak out but Fenrir just showed his face.”

They let out a long breath. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Fab called the police, and escorted him out of here. He’s angry because he was questioned last week.” Remus looked around the room. His regular was scaling another part of the course.

“Jesus, okay. Yeah, because he’s finally getting his comeuppance.” Sirius sounded a little sharp for a moment. “He’s gone now?”

“Yeah,” Remus said as an officer came through the doors. “I got to go, there’s a cop here. I’ll probably have to tell them what happened.”

“Okay. I love you. Teddy and I will be here when you get home.”

“Love you too.”

“Remus Lupin-Black?” The officer asked, coming over to Remus as he hung up.

“Yeah, that’s me.” He stood up straight again.

“I’m PC Robbins. Can we have a chat about what just happened here?”

“Of course.” Remus nodded.

Remus recounted what happened, and told the officer about the charges Remus was pressing against Fenrir. PC Robbins told him that Fenrir was in the car, and he didn’t need to worry. He also suggested putting in a restraining order against Fenrir since it happened before. Remus agreed, and he was going to do that but he wanted to get home to Sirius first then deal with anything else.

Fabian made him leave early once Gid was back from lunch, and he didn’t fight him on it. Remus went right home to Sirius and Teddy, thankful that Sirius was off as he walked through the door. “Hi love, I’m home.” He called out as he kicked his shoes off.

“DADA!” Teddy shrieked.

“Teddy!” Remus followed the shriek.

Teddy toddled into the hallway, Sirius on his heels keeping an eye on him. “DADA!”

“Someone has missed his Dad today,” Sirius said, smiling.

“I missed my Teddy today.” He scooped him up the blew a raspberry on his cheek. Teddy giggled. “I missed my Sirius today too.” He moved over and kissed them softly.

Sirius smiled into the kiss. “Hi caro.”

“Let’s go to the living room?” Remus bounced Teddy a little.

“Yeah, let’s.” Sirius pecked another kiss onto his lips before padding into the living room and sitting on the sofa.

Remus set Teddy down with the toys that it looked like he had been playing with then joined Sirius. “You didn’t worry too much, did you?”

Sirius bit their lip. “A little, but not as much as before because you sounded much more stable. What happened?”


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius had gotten the fright of their life when Remus phoned them and told them Fenrir had turned up at work, but thankfully, he seemed okay. They were happy to have him home though, and eager to make sure he was alright. Teddy was too, so it seemed, toddling off towards the door as soon as he came home.

When they were settled on the sofa, Remus explained everything and how the police officer had come and sorted everything out. It seemed like Fenrir was getting his comeuppance, eventually.

“I just want this to all happen, you know? They’ve talked to him, so maybe they’ll press charges soon.” Remus leaned back, his eyes going to Teddy.

“Yeah, especially now they’ve seen how he keeps turning up at work just to harass you.” Sirius bit their lip, watching Teddy stacking blocks.

“Sooner than later, I think.” He shifted to cuddle up with Sirius.

They pressed a kiss to his forehead, winding an arm around his waist. “You did really well, caro.”

“I’m trying.” He wrapped his arms around them.

Sirius smiled wider, holding him tight and relishing all the contact. “I feel like we should celebrate him getting arrested.”

“Ha, how so? What should we do?”

“Well, of course my first thought is a… recital,” Sirius said, grinning. They remembered the holiday at the beach, those piano recitals put to the side for childcare. They both knew what they were getting into, and wouldn’t change it for a minute. “But I think we can take our little monster for ice cream, what about that?”

“I thought wine and a recital too.” Remus snickered. “When he’s sleeping tonight. Let’s get ice cream then wear him out with playing at the park.”

“Cunning. I like it.” Sirius chuckled, kissing his cheek. “Shall we?”

“Yes, love, let’s.”

Sirius stood up. “Come on then piccolino, shall we go to the park? And maybe get  _ ice cream? _ ”

“NO!” Teddy shrieked, but he stood up, wobbling a bit, and waved a block around.

“Well, Pada and I will have ice cream and you can watch then.” Remus smiled as Teddy made his way over to Sirius.

“NO!”

Sirius laughed, swooping Teddy up and swinging him around. “Park time, mister. Do you want to wear your bright blue coat from Grandma?”

“Mam-ma!” He clapped his hands.

“Ha, he loves his grandma more than us.” Remus joked. “I’ll get his bag.”

Sirius snickered. “Grandma is pretty great, huh? I feel like she’s going to be the one to corrupt you when you’re older.” They carried Teddy into the hallway and managed to rassle him into his blue coat, Teddy pulling at their hair and nose with his sticky little hands.

“He might be a little warm, don’t you think?” Remus reappeared in the hallway with their diaper bag and Teddy’s sling.

“No, it’s got that removeable furry inner layer, remember? I’ve taken that out so it’s more just like a windbreaker. We can always take it off when he’s been running around?” Sirius bit their lip, setting Teddy back on the floor.

“Yeah, of course. What shoes, little monster?”

Teddy picked up one of Sirius’ heels. “Dada.”

Sirius laughed, tears springing to their eyes immediately. God, how was this kid so wonderful? “They’re a little big for you piccolino.”

“Yes, let’s put on the sparkly shoes instead, hmm? The ones that light up?” Remus kissed Sirius’ temple before leaning down to put on Teddy’s shoes.

“I will be forever mad that light-up shoes don’t come in adult sizes,” Sirius said, sniffing away their happy tears. They pulled on their own jacket and shoes, watching Remus with their  _ son. _

“I’m sure we can find Pada some light-up shoes, right Teddy?” He asked as Teddy kicked his feet and giggled while Remus tried managing the shoes.

“No!”

“Teddy, I’m heartbroken. Why can’t I have light-up shoes, huh?”

“No!”

Sirius whistled for Snuffles and clipped his lead on too. Family afternoons at the park with the four of them was their favourite thing entirely. The four of them, Teddy in his sling on Remus’ back, and Snuffles pulling at the lead with enthusiasm, made their way to the small play park in the neighbourhood. There was a large play area, with a slide, climbing frame and roundabout, as well as some grass for Snuffles to run around in, and a little kiosk that sold drinks and ice creams.

“What kind of ice cream should we get?” Remus looked over his shoulder at Teddy.

“Babul.” Teddy hit Remus’ head.

“Not sure they have that here.”

Sirius snickered. “Definitely not piccolino. We’ve got strawberry, chocolate, vanilla?”

“Babbala.”

“I think that’s vanilla?” Remus shrugged.

“Ha, I think so.” Sirius grinned. “What do you want, caro?”

“Chocolate and strawberry.” He took Sirius’ free hand.

Sirius gave him a quick kiss. “Okay.” They got to the kiosk and ordered with a smile, getting Teddy the kids ice cream as well as one for each of them. Remus didn’t drop their hand until they had to take the ice cream. “Shall we go and sit on that bench?” Sirius watched Snuffles wandering around. He was so well behaved and just liked to keep close to them all.

“Yeah, perfect.” Remus managed to get Teddy off of his back before they took a seat.

“Is your  _ babbala _ ice cream good, little monster?”

Teddy’s face was covered with ice cream and Remus laughed at him. “I think he likes it.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna say that’s a yes?” Sirius ate their strawberry ice cream, watching Teddy. Wet wipes were arguably one of Sirius’ favourite possessions right now.

“It’s really nice out.” Remus tried to feed Teddy so the ice cream got  _ in _ his mouth.

“Isn’t it?” Sirius watched the hilarity with a wide grin. “I’m excited to go to the beach again this year. He’ll love it.”

“Me too, he’s going to freak out about going into the water, I think.” He took a big spoonful of his own ice cream.

“Oh yeah? In a good way or bad way?”

“Good, I think. He’ll be fascinated, won’t he. He loves the tub.” Remus took another bite of ice cream.

Sirius nodded. “Mm, that’s true. He’ll be a water baby.”

“Yeah.” Remus kissed the top of his head.

“Wah-da, Dada!” Teddy gestured with his ice cream spoon.

“Yeah, water.” He chuckled as he finished his ice cream. “Likes baths like his Pada.”

“They’re good, aren’t they piccolino?” Sirius laughed as Teddy made a grab for their ice cream. “You have your own, darling.”

“He loves sweets like his Dada.” Remus picked up Teddy’s ice cream. “Here, have this.”

Teddy gave a squeal and grabbed a handful of his ice cream and ate it.

“Oh my god… I’ll get the wet wipes, eh?” Sirius finished their own ice cream and started looking into Teddy’s diaper bag.

“You’re such messy little monster.” He laughed and Sirius felt Remus’ hand on their back. They relaxed at the touch, smiling to themselves, as they retrieved the wipes and set about trying to clean Teddy up.

“Takes after his Dada for that, huh?”

“Hey!” Remus rubbed their back, watching Sirius.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” Sirius shot him a grin, infinitely happy.

“So mean.”

“Me!”

After a while at the play park, Snuffles running circles around them and Teddy padding around the jungle gym, they figured it was time to go home. Sirius carried Teddy, who was all tired out, as Remus held Snuffles’ lead. At home, Sirius shifted Teddy to their other hip. 

“What shall we have for dinner?”

“Tacos.” Remus kissed Teddy’s cheek. “What do you say, Teddy? Tacos?”

“No!”

“Hmmmm… Tickles?” Sirius dug their fingers into his sides, laughing.

“NO!” Teddy shrieked, squirming.

“Aww poor annwyl. Pada doesn’t like tickles either.” He stepped away from them and went towards the kitchen.

Sirius shot him a glare. “No, Pada does not like tickles.”

Remus chuckled as he went about getting everything out for the tacos. Sirius followed him into the kitchen and set Teddy in his high chair. 

“Shall we have a small glass of wine to get things started?”

“Sure.” Remus smiled at them. Sirius dropped a kiss on his cheek as they walked past, going to the fridge. He took out the last of the ingredients before grabbing the wine glasses. Teddy was banging away at the tray.

“You’re such a percussionist, Teddy,” Sirius said fondly as they poured wine. “Shall I put a record on for you to drum to?”

“Ba-ba-ba-ba!”

“I think that’s a yes.” Remus moved closer to them, putting his hands on their hips.

Sirius laughed. “Hi caro. I think so too.”

“Hi princess.” He pressed a kiss to behind their ear. “I think he’s trying to say Baba O’Riley, eh?”

“Ha. So he is.” Sirius leaned into him. “I’ll go and put The Who on eh?”

“Sure, please the monster.”

“Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!” Teddy whacked the table again.

Sirius laughed, shaking their head as they went into the living room and found  _ Who’s Next _ to put on. At the counter Remus was humming away as he started to cook the meat. Teddy was giggling hitting a wooden spoon on the tray.

“We only had one clean spoon.” Remus gestured to their son.

“I swear… is he actually in time?” Sirius leaned against the counter, watching Teddy.

“I don’t think so princess.”

“Don’t ruin my dreams of him being a drum prodigy,” Sirius said, grinning. “And princess whilst we’re not able to have a recital is not fair.”

“Aww, I’ll stop then.” He took a sip of his wine. “I’m sure that he could be a drum prodigy if he keeps working at it.”

“He will. Uncle James kept saying he’d get him a drum kit for Christmas.” Sirius sipped their own wine, looking to Remus.

“Mmm, then we’re getting Harry something loud as well.”

“Oh yep. Maybe a recorder? Or a trumpet.”

“Yes, a recorder! Perfect.” Remus laughed. “Last time I was over Alice’s with Mare and Peter, Ro and Luna were playing with this toy that talked and it was the most horrid thing on earth. Alice told them to take the thing far far away because Neville loved it. We could also get one of those for Harry.”

Sirius smiled wider. “You truly are evil.”

“I know, I’m the biggest bastard.”

“You are.” Sirius padded over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “The biggest bastard, but I love you for it.”

“I love you too because you help in the evil.”

“How very dare. I am sweetness and light personified, Daddy,” Sirius murmured against his shoulder.

“You are? You’re the biggest brat on the face of the planet.” He stirred in some spices.

“Rude.”

“PADA!!!!” Teddy hit the tray loudly.

“He agrees.”

“Betrayal, Teddy. Massive betrayal.”

“Aww, we love you no matter.” Remus turned to kiss them softly.

Sirius smiled into the kiss, squeezing the arm around his waist.

“BABABABABABA!”

“Teddy. You are the worst for serenading. I’m trying to kiss Dada here,” Sirius said, turning to grin at Teddy.

“DADA!”

“Exactly.” Sirius laughed, going over to him and sitting at the kitchen table. These kind of nights were their favourite.

“PADA!”

“You are getting good at those. What about…” Sirius hummed, looking around. “What about Snuffs? Can we say Snuffs?”

“Sna.” He giggled and Snuffles gave a bark.

“So close piccolino.” Sirius chuckled, sipping their wine. 

“Sna!”

“He’s really advanced with his talking. I guess it’s all the reading we do… and the talking we do with him.” He spooned the meat out into the bowl. “Princess, can you get some of this stuff and put it on the table?”

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius hummed, grabbing the various bowls.

“DADA!”

Remus laughed as he grabbed the rest of the food, and his wine. “Yes, Dada.”

“God, you are going to just talk our ears off, aren’t you?” Sirius sat down and started assembling a taco. “What do you want, Teddy? A tortilla aaaand?”

“Bababababa sna!”

“Oh no. You can’t eat Snuffs in your taco, piccolino.” Sirius grinned, looking at Remus. “This looks great, thanks for cooking caro.”

“No problem, I enjoy it.” Remus was making his own taco, sprinkling in some cheese as he hummed along to  _ Love Ain’t For Keeping _ .

Sirius bit their lip, watching him. “I’m having one of those moments. Those  _ is this my life? _ moments, you know?”

“Yeah?” Remus continued to hum. “It is your life. It’s our life. Fenrir’s arse is probably in jail right now or something.”

“That’s fucking great to think of, isn’t it?” Sirius grinned, sipping their wine. “I love our life.”

“I love our life too.” He bit into the taco.


	14. Chapter 14

“Goodnight, annwyl. Dada loves you so much.” Remus rubbed Teddy’s back once more before finally putting him down in his crib. “We’re keeping you nice and safe.”

It could have been a terrible day, but Remus was proud of himself for managing things and not letting Fenrir bother him so much. The bastard was getting what he deserved, finally. Then he went home and had the best day with Sirius and Teddy. They went for ice cream, played in the park, and then came home for dinner and a little more playing in the living room. Sirius and Teddy were what mattered, and what helped him get through it -- even when he was a stubborn bastard.

Once Teddy was in bed, he headed downstairs to the living room where Sirius was sat with their laptop. They were probably answering work emails as they tended to do at night on days they weren’t in the studio. Remus smiled, going to the kitchen to get the wine and their glasses before slipping on to the sofa next to them.

“Anything terrible or urgent or wonderful? Or is it all just the same?” Remus poured their wine.

“Hi caro. It’s fine enough. Has a new series of Dance Moms aired or something? Because we’re getting a whole flood of intake.”

“Ha! Possibly, love.” He handed Sirius their wine.

“Thank you.” Sirius took the wine and had a long drink of it. “I just have to do this one email.”

“Mmm, take your time.” Remus snuggled close and pressed a kiss to their neck.

Sirius tilted their head, smiling. “Are you going to be this distracting the whole time?”

“No.” He nipped at the same spot before moving away again to take a drink.

“Mmm, shame.”

“I’ll let you work.” Remus wrapped his arm around their waist.

“Thank you.” Sirius smiled, typing away.

“Mmmhmm.” He kissed their shoulder, watching them type away.

Sirius paused, biting their lip. “I feel like as soon as I hit send here, you’re going to enact some sordid plan.”

“I have a sordid plan?” Remus snickered. They haven’t had sex in a while, outside of some vanilla stuff. Not since Remus had broken their trust. He was a little nervous about wanting something more, but he knew that it’d be okay.

“I think you might.”

“I’d never.” He took another drink of his wine.

“Oh no, you’d never have a plan of any kind. You are absolutely spontaneous.” Sirius gave him a sly smile.

“Completely.”

Sirius hit send then shut their laptop. “Okay, all done.”

“Good.” Remus sipped the wine again, not moving away or closer to Sirius.

“Mhmm.” Sirius smiled, sipping their own wine.

“Did you have a nice day princess… well, since I’ve been home and you know I’m okay?”

“I did.” Sirius sipped their wine again. “We had a good morning stacking blocks and napping. I video called Marlene so we could talk through schedules, too.”

“That’s good.”

“How was work before Fenrir turned up?”

“Slow. It’s okay though, I got some admin stuff done.” He ghosted his lips over their jaw.

Sirius tilted their chin up and Remus felt them shiver against him. “Hmm, that’s good.”

“Yeah.” He feathered kisses down to their neck.

“Sounds very productive.” Sirius shifted a little.

“Mmmhmm.”

Remus heard the clink of Sirius’ wine glass being set down, their arm around his shoulders. He held his own wine glass tight, doing his best not to spill it on the sofa as he sucked at the spot on their neck that made Sirius just melt. It worked. Sirius moaned softly and arched against him, their breath hitching.

“Fuck…”

“Hmm?” Remus laved his tongue over the spot then bit it before pulling back.

Sirius moaned again and they bit their lip as he pulled back, staring at him. “You  _ know _ how that gets me.”

“What gets you?” Remus laughed as he sat back, taking another drink.

“You biting my neck like that. Especially that one spot.” Sirius gave him a look, their cheeks a little pink.

“Hmm.” He nodded, setting his glass down.

They shifted in their seat. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing, princess.” He laughed, pulling them closer.

“Oh yep, this looks like nothing.” Sirius grinned, moving closer and half sitting in his lap. 

“Just being close to you.” He ran his fingers through their hair.

“Of course, of course.” Sirius hummed, closing their eyes and tilting into his touch.

“Mmmhmm. You’re so pretty.”

Sirius squirmed, like they always did whenever he complimented them. “Yeah?”

“Yeah and I love that you love me. I love how you love me.” Remus’ lips went back to their neck.

“I love you very much, and in whatever way you want. You deserve--mmm--deserve it all.”

“You do too princess.” He continued to nip and suck at their pale skin.

“Ah, god. Are you gonna leave all pretty marks for when I’m in work tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” His hand went to palm over their cock.

“Mmmm, good.” Sirius squirmed again, a moan spilling from their lips as their hips canted upwards.

Remus laughed against their neck before he sat back again. Sirius blinked as he pulled back. 

“Oh you’re in one of those moods tonight, are you?”

He raised an eyebrow, reaching for his glass. “What are you talking about? What moods?”

“You like getting me worked up then doing nothing about it.” Sirius pushed their hair back from their face, squirming again.

“Awww poor princess.” Remus ran a hand over them again, still sipping his wine.

Sirius bit back a moan, squirming and shifting a little further away. “Daddy is mean.”

“Ah, so mean.” He kissed their cheek.

“So mean.” Sirius hooked their arm around his neck, not letting him pull back.

“Go upstairs and get the rope out along with the lube. Put on one of your collars then kneel nicely on the sofa. Don’t move. Don’t touch yourself.”

Sirius stayed there for a moment, smiling wider, before they pulled back. “Yes Daddy, of course.”

“Oh, get undressed too. I forgot that instruction.” He grinned at them.

“Such a long list, Daddy,” Sirius said, standing up.

“Well, my princess is bratty.” He set his wine down.

“Am I?” Sirius smiled wider before turning on their heel and starting towards the stairs.

“You better listen, princess, or you’re going to be punished and not in the nice way.”

“I’ll be good, Daddy,” they called back over their shoulder, climbing the stairs with a swing in their hips.

Remus rolled his eyes because he had a feeling that wasn’t true.

Once he heard them open the door to the playroom, Remus went picked up the wine. As always, he took his time cleaning up. He wanted to lean into the control, and feel comfortable in it. Remus most importantly wanted Sirius to feel good since the last time they played, it went to complete shit.

After grabbing two glasses of water, Remus headed upstairs to the playroom. He, as always, checked the baby gate a little obsessively then checked to see if Teddy was sound asleep -- he was, thankfully. When he was satisfied, he went into the room, shutting the door behind him before looking to Sirius.

They had done what he said… mostly. Sirius was kneeling naked on the couch with their favourite leather collar around their throat. A bundle of rope and the lube was sitting next to them, but there was one problem. They were on their phone, probably scrolling through Instagram or something.

“What are you doing?” Remus was a little shocked at this. Sure, they had been plenty bratty before, but they were  _ on their phone _ ?

Sirius jumped a mile and threw their phone down onto the couch next to them. “I had an email!”

“ _ An email _ . Was that a part of the instructions?” He took their phone from the couch. “You’re lucky I don’t break your phone, princess.” Remus put it on the side table.

“I’m sorry Daddy,” Sirius murmured, biting their lip. “Don’t break my phone.”

“Why can’t you just listen?” He picked up the rope. “Stand up now.”

Sirius practically scrambled to obey, standing in front of him with their feet together, arms by their side in perfect dancer posture. Instead of asking Sirius to do it, Remus pulled their arms behind their back. He bent them up and back. Sirius made a little yelp of discomfort, trying to get comfy as Remus watched their shoulder blades settling.

Once they were in the position Remus wanted, he started to tie, first around their wrist a few times then up and over their shoulders before coming back down to their wrists again. He tied it tight over their arms, making sure Sirius couldn’t their arms move at all. With one more check of the last knot, Remus stepped back and sat on the couch. Sirius shifted their weight and Remus thought for a moment they were going to turn around to face him, but they must’ve known better than to do that. 

“Better, Daddy?” They breathed instead, looking at him in the mirrors.

“I don’t know, are you going to listen like a good princess or not?”

Sirius nodded. “I’ll be good.”

“Why didn’t you listen before then, princess?” Remus reached out and smacked their bottom.

“Ah! I tried, I got--I got distracted, I’m sorry!”

“Mmm, I see.” He watched them in the mirror, not doing anything, just making them wait.

Sirius’ gaze kept flickering to the floor then back up to Remus’ gaze. “I’m really sorry.”

“My poor princess.”

“I want to make it up to you, Daddy.” Sirius shifted again and Remus saw the ropes twist around their shoulders.

“You always want to be nice after, huh?” He slapped them once more.

Sirius yelped again, rising up onto their toes for a second. “Ah, I like--I like seeing where your boundaries are. How--how you react. But, I swear, I didn’t mean to this time.”

“Really? Why’d you even have your cell phone?” Remus questioned them.

“It was in my hoodie pocket, and I went to turn it onto silent and had another work email and--I’m sorry Daddy.”

“And your work email was more important than the directions and listening to me?” He pulled them back onto his lap by the ropes. Sirius practically tumbled backwards with another surprised little noise.

“No, it wasn’t. I got caught up. Nothing--nothing’s more important than your directions, Daddy.”

“That’s what I thought.” Remus reached for the lube.

Sirius shivered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Did you forget who to listen to?” He poured a little into his hand then tossed it aside. Sirius didn’t reply verbally, and only made a little whimpering noise as they shivered again.

“Did you forget?” He wrapped his hand around them and stroked them quickly.

“Ah--ah, will you remind me?”

“Of course princess.”

Sirius’ fingers clenched like they were trying to grip at something as they canted their hips forward. “Oh fuck.”

Remus smiled as he continued to kiss their neck, only moving his hand faster. They tilted their neck to the side, groaning softly. Twisting his wrist up, he bit down on their neck then gave their hair a tug.

“Ah, fuck,  _ fuck _ ,” Sirius moaned, their back arching. “Fuck, your hand feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He gave another bite to their neck then sucked at the skin there.

“Oh, I’m so--can I come, please?”

Remus dropped his hand and moved his mouth off of their neck. “No.”

Sirius let out a  _ whine _ that made Remus’ cock twitch as they squirmed, trying to rut against his thigh. “Daddy please.”

“No.” He smacked their thigh. “Not yet. Stop moving.”

“Okay, yes Daddy,” Sirius said, going still immediately. “It felt so good.”

“It did?” Remus ran his hand up and down their stomach.

Sirius bit their lip hard, their grey eyes following Remus’ hand. “So good. You know I like your fingers on me.”

“I know, you just love my fingers.” He pulled their hair again as his softly touched the head of their cock with just his index finger.

“Ahh, fuck--I do, I do.” Sirius’ hips jerked as they moaned.

Remus laughed as he circled his fingers around the head then over the slit. “You have the prettiest cock, princess.”

Sirius’ head tipped back to look up at the ceiling, their whole body shuddering. “I wanna come.”

“No.” Remus stopped touching them again, watching them in the mirror.

“Fuck.”

“Look how pretty you are, all flushed and squirming around on my lap.”

They looked back to the mirror, their eyes looking a little glazed. They were all flushed and squirming, barely able to sit still, with that red rush of blood creeping down their neck and chest. “Please Daddy.”

“No.” He pinched their thigh and bit their neck.

“I wanna--fuck--I wanna be good for you.”

“You are being good princess. You’re being so good and listening now.” Remus kissed the spot he had bit.

Sirius groaned. “Are you--gonna leave pretty marks?”

“I’ve left lots already, can’t you see them in the mirror?”

“Fuck, I--I can’t concentrate. I wanna come, I wanna.”

Remus smiled, just running his hand over their stomach. “Oh princess, not yet. We’ve got a lot to do.”

“What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything, please.”

“Just sit here and look pretty right now.”

Sirius moaned, biting their lip hard. “Daddy please.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You need to listen.”

“I’m listening, I’m listening.”

“Good.” Remus hummed and kissed their cheek.


	15. Chapter 15

Sirius wasn’t sure how they ended up on their knees on the couch, near delirious with pleasure, but here they were.

Remus had let them get so close to edge so many times, just with the tiniest touch or kiss, and now he was behind them on the couch with two of his talented, gorgeous climber’s fingers deep inside them and making them shudder with every stroke.

“You’re so good princess. I love you.”

Sirius bit their lip, their back arching. Their arms were going a little numb as they concentrated on keeping their balance. “Ah, please, Daddy.”

“Do you want me to fuck you now?”

“Please.”

“You’ve been listening to well.” His fingers slid out of them and a moment later Remus’ cock filled them instead. Sirius moaned, arching their hips back towards him to try and grind against him.

“Fuck, oh fuck you feel so good.”

“Yeah?” He drove into them hard, making them see stars.

Sirius moaned sharply, shuddering. “Fuck, ah. I love--love Daddy’s cock in me.”

“I love being ins-inside you princess. Shit.” Remus held onto them as he thrust his hips in and then nearly out of them. They couldn’t do anything more than just stay there, Remus holding them up by the ropes as he fucked them senseless. Sirius moaned and yelped with every thrust, their breath ragged.

It seemed as if Remus couldn’t fuck them any harder, but it was possible apparently because it was happening. Remus’ free hand came up over their mouth before pushing his fingers into it. Sirius eagerly opened their mouth, sucking on his fingers. He was probably trying to keep them quiet and not wake Teddy but fuck if Sirius could concentrate enough to do that by the way he was fucking them, so they just moaned around his fingers.

“You’re amazing princess. Fuck, you can come when you want.” Remus kissed them on the back of the neck as he fucked them harder.

“Mmhpm,” Sirius managed to say, desperate for him to touch them, for his hands somehow everywhere. They were so close they couldn’t think straight after holding back for so long.

Remus didn’t wrap his hands around their cock, but his mouth was on their neck and he was hitting just the right spot inside them  _ over and over and over and over… _ “My perf-perfect princess. I love you. You’re -- fuck -- you’re so wet and open for me. You’re so hot.”

The sound of his voice all broken and panting was enough to shove them over the edge. Sirius moaned sharply as they came—probably all over the couch, fuck—with their vision going white and blurry. At some point in their climax, they were vaguely aware that Remus came deep inside of them. The feeling of warmth and the sound of his groan made them shudder as their chin dropped to their chest, panting hard.

“Fuck…”

Remus hummed as he pressed kisses to their shoulders, starting to untie them already. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed. “Float—floaty.”

“I’m glad, good.” He chuckled as he pulled out. “I love you.”

Sirius heard a sort of mewling noise and only realised it was them a moment later. “Fuck.” They held still for a moment before the ropes loosened around their arms.

“That was the cutest noise you’ve ever made.” Remus dropped the ropes before sitting on the sofa and pulling them on to his lap.

“That’s what happens when you edge me for  _ hours _ then fuck me so hard I’m surprised I’m still in one piece,” Sirius huffed, curling up in his lap and pressing their mouth to his shoulder. They were too boneless to do anything but just go where he wanted them.

“I don’t think it was hours, princess.” Remus kissed the top of their head. “Was there anything you didn’t like?”

“Hours.” Sirius smiled, relaxing into him. “You didn’t touch me. I liked it fine, because fuck knows I came enough anyway.” They swallowed, feeling a bit drunk with it. “But I wondered why?”

“I just wanted to see if I could make you come without touching you.” He rubbed their back.

“You did—did that the first time you fucked me, remember? Fuck, I feel so floaty.”

“I remember, princess, I wanted to see if I could do it again. You were so worked up, I’m surprised it didn’t happen before I told you, you could.”

Sirius chuckled. “I had been trying not to for so long.”

“I know, you were so good.” Remus kissed them softly.

“Mmm, thank you Daddy,” Sirius mumbled into the kiss, grinning.

“You’re so welcome princess. Even if you were on your phone when I came in here.” He chuckled.

They let out a groan, resting their head against his cheek. “I got an email,” they sighed.

“I still can’t believe you answered it though! I’m not actually mad at it, I thought it was funny.”

“Okay. I usually keep it away, but I don’t know why I didn’t this time.” Sirius kissed his cheek, sighing contentedly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He smiled. “I love you so much. Do you want anything? Need anything?”

“Can I have some water?”

“Of course princess.” He picked up the water glass from the side table then handed it to Sirius. They had to hold it with both hands because of how boneless they felt, but gulped down a few mouthfuls of it.

“Anything you didn’t like?” They asked when they set the glass back in their lap, looking at him in earnest.

“No, I loved it. It was perfect.”

“Mmm, good.”

“Do you want a shower?”

Sirius nodded, wiggling their toes and feeling like they were a little more grounded. “Yeah. I feel like I’m covered in lube… and there’s come on the couch, isn’t there?”

“Sort of. I’ll clean the couch properly tomorrow.” Remus kissed them before gathering Sirius up to carry them out of the playroom. Sirius looped their arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to the crook of it.

The weeks seemed to roll by after that, with both of them working and juggling caring for Teddy. Their son was growing and growing too, learning more words and banging his stacking blocks harder and eating more and more. Surprisingly, he hadn’t said any cuss words yet, so that was a plus.

It was two or so months later when Remus got a phone call from Detective Moody. His face went pale and Sirius stopped mid-crossword to put a hand on his knee.

“Right, right… of course… ye-yeah. Thank you.” Remus took a deep breath. “I’ll see you then. Bye.” He hung up, then set the phone down.

Sirius bit their lip. “What’s happening?”

“There’s a trial day. Two weeks.” He swallowed hard as Teddy came over holding out a book.

“Ba-ba.” Teddy set the book on the sofa.

Remus picked up Teddy and kissed him on the cheek. “One minute, annwyl.”

“Oh.” Sirius sighed, squeezing his knee. “We’ll be okay.”

“It’s going to work out right?” He picked up the book.

“Of course. It’s going to work out. We have so much evidence, caro.” 

“Right and he’s harassed me at work.” Remus nodded.

“Exactly, and refused to listen to everyone… he’s… it’ll all be fine.” Sirius rubbed a hand over their face, smiling reassuringly at him.

“Can you read to Teddy?” Remus handed them the book.

Sirius took the book and flipped it open. “Alright Teddy. This caterpillar is very hungry.” Teddy squealed excitedly and Sirius took a second to look properly at Remus. “Can I do anything for you right now?”

“Let’s read to Teddy first. I think I need it to sink in.”

“Yep.” Sirius nodded sharply before diving in to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Remus sat there holding Teddy, looking a little blank. Sirius just gave him the space he needed as they read, keeping Teddy occupied and engaged with the book as Remus bounced him a little.

Once the book was done, Teddy seemed satisfied and toddled off back to his toys. Remus curled up on the sofa and rested his head on Sirius’ lap. “I’m so nervous.”

They immediately tangled their fingers into his hair, stroking through the curls. “I know caro. It’s okay to be nervous. It will all be okay.”

“I’m afraid to be questioned. What if I mess it up?” Remus sighed, leaning into the touch.

“You won’t. Just tell the truth. You can just tell them what happened and you won’t mess up.” Sirius kissed his forehead, sighing.

“Okay.” Remus grabbed their hand.

Sirius squeezed his hand. “I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay. I’ll be right here, just this one thing and it will be over and done.”

“I’ll just look at you the whole time.” He chuckled.

Sirius kissed his knuckles. “Okay but for real. Just look at me the whole time and it will all be okay. You don’t need to look at him or anything, just tell them what happened.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “I can do that.”

“You can do it. It will all be okay.”

“Everyone’s going to want to go, you know?” He sniffled and pressed his face against Sirius’ thigh. Sirius’ heart ached. Remus didn’t deserve any of what he had gone through.

“They’ll want to come and support you, that’s all. Plus, we can show Fenrir he didn’t manage to isolate you from your friends, and that you’re loved and treasured.”

“Yeah, who’s gonna watch the kids though.” He snorted.

Sirius waved a hand. “I’ll figure out logistics.”

Remus nodded again. “We should throw a big party no matter what.”

“I agree. In the unlikely event the outcome isn’t what we want, we still celebrate because you did this scary and wonderful thing.”

“Okay, perfect.” Remus smiled at them.

Sirius leaned down and kissed him softly. “I love you, and I’m so proud of you.”

“DADA! PADA!” Teddy shrieked.

“I love you too.”

“Hmm. Teddy I was trying to be sweet to Dada.”

“Dada!” Teddy toddled over. “La-vu.”

“I think that’s love you.” Remus wrapped his arms around them then rolled over onto his back and Teddy gave a giggle.

Sirius laughed, their heart melting. “La-vu too, Teddy.”

“Dada and Pada love you so so so much.” He smiled up at Teddy.

“Pa-da-da-da-da,” Teddy babbled along at them both.

Remus rubbed his back. “You’re getting so big.”

“Isn’t he?” Sirius cuddled up next to them, pressing a kiss to Teddy’s forehead then Remus’ cheek. “Our boy.”

Hope’s car was quiet as they drove to the courts two weeks later. Alice and Sirius were in the back, with Remus in the passenger seat. Behind them James drove Peter and Dorcas in their car. Sirius didn’t quite know how to help Remus, but they just all needed to be there for him. Everyone else was back at their house with the kids, waiting to have a celebration or provide support.

“I have a good feeling about the day.” Hope patted Remus on the knee.

“I feel like I’m going to vomit.” Remus looked out the window.

“Mary said the charts today would be good,” Sirius said, reaching forward to take Remus’ hand. “It’ll be okay.”

“Even without the stars on your side, you’re going to kick ass, sweetie. Then if it doesn’t go our way we’ll kill him.” Alice smiled sweetly.

Sirius smiled at Alice. “Exactly.”

“No murder needed.” Hope shook her head as they pulled into the carpark. “I just know that it’s going to work out. You’re going to be okay. All of you that are going to be speaking.”

“You guys will sit right up front, right?” Remus asked, undoing his seatbelt.

“Yeah, right up front.” Sirius got out of the car and went around to Remus’ door. “It’ll all be okay.”

Remus had got out by the time they went to his door. He grabbed their hand and took a deep breath.

“Hey!” Gid’s voice came from somewhere behind them.

“Fuck, do you have to be so loud?” Fabian complained.

Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand hard, leading him slowly towards the doors. “It’s early Gid, Christ.” 

Alice chuckled, herding them all a little more obviously towards the doors.

“Sorry, sorry.” Gid caught up to them as James came running over.

“How are you?” James threw an arm around Remus.

“Christ, James.” Remus snorted a laugh.

Sirius chuckled. “Bro, you are so tactless.”

“Potter, you’re the worst.” Dorcas pulled him back. “Give the man some space.”

“Remember, we are not even giving this arsehole the time of day. We are all ignoring him,” Peter declared as they walked into the courthouse.

“Exactly, chins up, we’re better than him.” Sirius gave Remus a smile.

“We’ve got murder as a back up if we need.”

“Al, do not say those words in a courthouse!”

Remus shook his head and gave an eyeroll.

“My god, you all shouldn’t be allowed in public somedays.” Hope took Remus’ other hand.

At the doors of the court, Sirius pulled Remus to a stop, letting everyone else walk through. “Hey…”

“Hey.” Remus came to a stop.

“Just wanted a second with you before it all.” Sirius bit their lip, turning to him and putting their hands on his upper arms. “How are you?”

“Scared. Still feel like I’m going to vomit.” Remus took a deep breath again. “Do you have any gum?”

“Yep, yep.” Sirius nodded, taking a breath with him as they dug in their pocket and offered him the packet of gum. “It’s okay to be scared, we will all be here for you. Remember, just look at me, yeah?”

Remus nodded, taking the gum. “I’ll be staring straight at you. God, what if I puke while I’m up there.”

“You won’t puke, I promise. Remember what your mam said about that nausea pressure point, yeah?” Sirius smiled, their fingers going to his wrist to press there.

“Right, god. Okay.” He put a piece of gum in his mouth then wrapped his arms around them. “Thank you for helping me through this. I know you’re my spouse and that’s what you do, but thank you, really. I love you so much.”

Sirius squeezed their arms around him, burying their face in the crook of his neck. “I love you so, so much caro. I’m so proud of you.”

“It’ll be over soon enough and then we’ll be home with Teddy.”

“Exactly. Over soon, I promise.”

Remus pulled back. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Sirius kissed him softly. “Let’s get the bastard.”


	16. Chapter 16

Taking the stand, Remus couldn’t remember actually getting up there. He sort of blacked out for a moment with anxiety, but then he spotted Sirius in the crowd. Next to Sirius was Poppy, who came to support him as well. They gave him a reassuring look and Remus smiled at them. He could do this, it was going to be okay -- even if it was terrifying. Moody had told him that they would just ask him questions that he had already answered basically. He was right, thankfully.

Remus just told them what happened, exactly how he did with Moody at the station. It was hard to say it out loud in front of everyone, but there wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. This was something that happened to him, that could have happened to anyone. By doing this he was doing something good for himself and for whatever poor bastard could possibly date Fenrir in the future.

“Mr Lupin, some may question what took you so long, can you maybe explain what led you to this?”

He did his best not to roll his eyes at the question because he thought it was a stupid question. “Well,” He happened to see Fenrir when he glanced to the lawyer. Fenrir gave him a smile. Remus looked him dead in the eye and glared. “It’s assumed by too many people that men don’t get raped or I was in a relationship, so it wasn’t rape. But it was. After Fenrir had ha--approached myself and my spouse at a bakery, I went on a spiral. It wasn’t normal to feel so anxious and disgusted when you see your ex, right? I finally went to therapy and came to the realization that it was rape. He raped me.” Remus didn’t look away from Fenrir. “Multiple times. He manipulated me and abused me. It just took me a couple years to accept that myself, then it took me a few more to realize that I could do something about it.”

Fenrir was the first to glance away, to the lawyer sitting beside him.

Remus didn’t look away until the lawyer asked another question. Then he looked back to Sirius. They were biting their lip hard and looking between Remus and Fenrir, but as soon as Remus looked to them, they looked back to him. They gave him a reassuring smile and a nod. He could do this.

Eventually it was over, and he was able to go sit back down with Sirius. He let out the longest sigh, and held onto their hand as his mam went up to answer questions. The rest of the day went by in a blur. They didn’t get through everyone, so they were going to be coming back for another day. Sirius was going to be the last to go up for their side in the morning. He felt good though.

“Home?” Remus stood up. “Poppy, would you like to come by our place for a drink and some food?”

Poppy smiled slightly. “I think that’s a little out of protocol unfortunately, though I’d love to. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I figured.” He laughed. “See you tomorrow.”

Poppy gave him a hug. “See you tomorrow. You did well.”

Sirius stood right by Remus’ side. “Didn’t he?”

Remus hugged her back then pulled away. “Thank you.” Poppy gave a wave before heading off. Remus turned to Sirius and hugged them. “I love you.”

They hugged him back so tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you, I love you. I’m so proud, you did so good. Fuck that lawyer.”

“Please don’t go off on him on the stand.” Remus snickered and kissed them on the cheek.

“I’m trying very hard.” Sirius smiled, holding onto him. “I love you, I’m so proud. Let’s go home?”

“Let’s.” Remus kissed them once more before pulling back from them.

They all headed back to their house, Fab and Gid included. Monty, Richard, and Effy had made them a ridiculous amount of food as always. Once they walked in the door, everyone was asking how it went, but Remus went right to Teddy.

“Dada!” Teddy toddled over to him, arms outstretched as Ro was right on Teddy’s heels, practically skipping.

“Uncle Moony! Uncle Moony!” Ro called out as Remus scooped up his son.

“Hi annwyl. Hi Ro Ro. Are you all having fun? Are you taking care of all the little ones?”

“Not little!” Harry complained from where he was playing with legos.

Remus kissed Teddy’s cheek, feeling a knot in his chest unravel. Sirius sat next to Harry and jiggled the mobile on Neville’s playmat. 

“Hello you lot. Roro, let Uncle Moony breathe a minute? Teddy’s missed him.”

“Okay Paddy.” Ro went over to Sirius and sat in their lap instead.

“Hi mischief,” they said, putting an arm around her and kissing her head. They looked up at Remus, giving him a reassuring smile.

“DADA! Moo-ee!” Teddy babbled, reaching out to grab Remus’ nose.

“It’s Dada to you, silly.” Remus tickled his belly. Sirius had put Teddy in his quarter moon shirt, and insisted Remus wear his matching full moon one under his button up. He couldn’t argue it, it was cute and made him think of Teddy.

“Moon-ee!” Neville laughed.

“You all are louder than me!” Marlene came into the living room.

“Doubtful, Marly.” Remus took a seat on the ground next to Sirius. He loved that everyone was there for support, but he also didn’t want to answer any questions at the moment. At least the kids wouldn’t ask.

“Pfft, they’re giving me a run for my money anyway.” Marlene grinned, passing out the drinks she’d brought through.

Sirius leaned against him, watching Rowena and Harry playing. “You okay, caro?”

Remus took a sip of his drink as Teddy got off of his lap. “I’m fine, just… I think it’s all just sinking in. It went really well though, right?”

“It went really well. I’m so proud of you.”

“The food is all done!” Richard called.

“Great.” Remus went to stand up.

Sirius nudged Rowena, chuckling. “Come on then Roro, food time.”

“YUM!” Teddy clapped, shuffling towards the kitchen.

Everyone followed through to the kitchen and set about eating the mountain of food the parents had cooked for them all. It wasn’t much longer after dinner that Sirius started dropping some far-less-than-subtle hints that everyone should leave. They barely let Remus get up from the sofa from where he was cuddling with Teddy.

Remus hugged his mam goodbye as Richard said goodbye to Teddy. Once they were all out the door Remus let out a big sigh as he went back to the sofa, setting Teddy down to go back to his toys.

Sirius strode over to him as soon as they shut the door then wrapped their arms tight around him. “Hi caro.”

“Hi love.” Remus pulled them to sit in his lap. They immediately curled up there, looping their arms around his neck and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“I’m so proud of you.”

“I feel… good? It’s not over but I feel better.” He kissed them back then rested his head on their shoulder.

“I’m glad you feel good. So glad. You were so strong, when he was staring at you I wanted to scream but you did so good.” Sirius ran their fingers through his hair, holding him close.

“I felt very powerful when I did that. I don’t know. I saw him fucking smiling and I just wanted to tear him to shreds.” He closed his eyes.

Sirius kept raking their fingers through his hair. “And you did, it was powerful as shit.”

“It felt very Dom of me.” Remus pulled back a little to look at them. “It’s because of you that I can do it.”

“It was very Dom.” Sirius grinned, biting their lip. “Kinda hot, really.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus chuckled.

“DO DO DO DO!” Teddy bashed the blocks together.

Sirius snorted a laugh. “Indeed.”

“God, he’s such a word machine.” Remus shook his head.

“All the reading and chatting we do, hm?” Sirius turned and looked at Teddy fondly.

“He’s going to be the smartest little thing in school.”

Sirius chuckled, kissing Remus’ forehead and hugging him closer. “We’re not going to be able to keep up with him.” 

“We hardly can now.” He rubbed their back. “It’s nearly time for bed.”

“BED! NO!” Teddy shrieked.

“You won’t be saying that when you’re a grown-up, Teddy. Bedtime is great.” Sirius ruffled his hair, grinning.

“NO!”

“We love bedtime. Bed is the best.” Remus let out a sigh.

“It’s the best.”

“NO! NO! NO!” Teddy shrieked, waving his blocks.

“Dada loves sleep.” He watched his son.

“He does,” Sirius agreed, standing up to scoop Teddy up.

“You’re not going to let me do anything the rest of the night are you?” Remus snickered, watching them.

“Absolutely not. You just did like, the biggest thing today, I’m going to do everything.” Sirius hitched Teddy onto their hip. “C’mon piccolino, let’s get you in pyjamas, huh?”

“NO!”

Sirius laughed. “No? What aboooout… the space pyjamas Auntie Al got you?”

Teddy lit up immediately, grabbing at Sirius’ hair. “YAH! SPA!”

“I would also love a spa day.” Remus chuckled, watching the two of them. He was so happy that he had them both. He was so lucky.

Sirius brought Teddy up to bed, and Remus relaxed on the sofa. He just laid on the sofa, trying to not think about the next day. All he wanted to do was spend the night with Sirius in whatever way they wanted to -- preferably close with plenty of cuddling. It was a while later, when the babbling and laughing and shrieking died down, that Remus heard footsteps down the stairs. Snuffles had gone up with the pair, because he always slept at the foot of Teddy’s bed for a few hours. 

“He’s finally asleep, Jesus,” Sirius said as they slumped next to him on the sofa.

“Did you do the, stick to a routine thing? We really have to work on it.” Remus put his feet on Sirius’ lap.

Sirius rubbed their thumb over the arch of his foot, leaning back into the cushions. “Yeah, I tried.”

“Little monster.” He hummed at the touch.

“Our little monster though, hm?”

“I love our little monster.”

“Is it bad if we just go up to bed? God it’s been a long day,” Sirius said, shifting to Remus’ other foot.

“Mmm, have I ever said no to going up to bed?” He snorted a laugh.

Sirius grinned. “That is very true.”

“Let’s go then.” Remus sat up. Sirius leaned over and kissed him softly before getting up, leading the way upstairs.

When they got up to their room, Remus changed and brushed his teeth before getting into bed with his phone. He wasn’t ready to fall asleep yet, he was just happy to be in bed. Sirius took a few moments longer to climb into bed next to him but snuggled up against his side almost immediately, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Hi caro.”

“Hi princess.” Remus put an arm around their shoulders.

“I feel like we should take advantage of a free evening, Daddy?”

“What are you thinking of? I thought you were tired.” Remus teased them.

“Mmm, not  _ really _ tired?”

“Ohhh, I see.” Remus set his phone aside.

Sirius chuckled, pressing closer to him. He kissed down their jaw, running his hand over their stomach. “Mmm, hi. I’ve convinced you, have I?”

“I was hoping to get close to you.” He nuzzled their neck.

“I think you’ve accomplished that, Daddy,” Sirius murmured, shifting down the bed.

“Yeah?” He pressed a kiss to their shoulder, hand going up their shirt.

“Mhmm.” Sirius’ hands stroked up his back, rucking his shirt up a little.

“I love you.”

Sirius hummed. “I love you too.”

“What do you want, princess?” Remus kissed back up their neck, lightly running his nails over their stomach.

“Whatever you want, Daddy.”

“Mmm, just kisses.” He played with their hair with his other hand. Sirius arched into him, tipping their chin back to give him access to their neck.

“Kisses are--ah, good.”

“Yeah?” His fingers brushed against one of their nipples.

“Mmm, your kisses are the best.” Sirius moaned softly, arching up towards his touch.

Remus smiled, kissing them on the lips again. “Your kisses are the best princess.”

Sirius ran their fingers through his hair, meeting him for the kiss as they smiled up at him. “I love you so much.”

He nipped at their bottom lip walking his fingers down their stomach. Sirius’ gaze flickered to his fingers, watching them closely as they pulled away from the kiss.

“Mmm what are you doing?” Remus chased their mouth with his.

“I wanna watch what you’re doing,” Sirius mumbled, kissing him back quickly as they lifted their hips towards his touch.

He laughed against their mouth. “I’m not doing anything.” Remus flattened his hand against their stomach, trailing it back up. He felt Sirius smile into the kiss, shivering a little.

“Right,” they murmured, kissing him again.

Remus’ tongue slid against theirs, humming into their mouth as his fingers walked back down their stomach. This time he stopped at the waistband and played with it as he continued to kiss them. Sirius moaned into the kiss, chasing his tongue with theirs, their hands going through his hair again.

“DADA! PADA!” Teddy’s voice came over the monitor, causing Remus to jump back from Sirius.

“Christ.” Remus panted.

Sirius groaned, rolling onto their side. “I’ll get him, I’ll get him.”

“No, we’re supposed to try to let him calm down first for a bit. Remember?” Remus pulled them back to the bed.

“Oh fuck, yeah, okay…” Sirius puffed out their cheeks.

“This is really a mood killer.” Remus gestured to the monitor where their son’s cries were coming out of.

Sirius snickered, rolling onto their front. “Yeah, it’s not the sexiest soundtrack.”

He snorted a laugh, putting a hand over his face. “God, I hate letting him cry.”

“Me too. But they did say he’d settle down, didn’t they…”

“Ugh, yeah. We can’t let him control bedtime.”

Sirius pressed their face into the pillow, groaning. “Nope.”

“It was easier when he was an infant, then I knew exactly what he wanted at night.” Remus moved to rest his head on their back. Teddy’s crying was fading into little sniffles. He looked up to see him settling back into his bed.

“Yeah… Ah, has he calmed down?”

“He’s sniffling and holding tight to his blankie.” Remus kissed their shoulder.

Sirius didn’t move from lying on their front, but relaxed a little. “Hmm, good. Maybe they’re all right after all, huh? Almost as if they know what they’re doing.”

“Right.” He laughed, rubbing their back.

“I suppose we should sleep, huh?” Sirius hummed. “That feels nice.”

“Yeah, we do have to be up early.” Remus kept at rubbing their back.

“Unless by some miracle our son suddenly takes after his father and sleeps in…”

“He does sometimes. But we have to get up for court.” He pressed a kiss to the top of their head. “And hopefully this will all be over with then.”

“Oh fuck. Jesus, I’m sorry, I forgot for a split second.” Sirius lifted their head from the pillows, giving him a concerned look.

“You  _ forgot _ ?” Remus let out a soft laugh, getting comfortable again under the blankets.

“Just for a second! I was all sleepy and relaxed!”

Remus snickered, going back to rubbing their back. “It’s okay, princess. Don’t worry.”

Sirius pouted. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop pouting, it’s really okay.” He kissed their pout.

“Okay. Love you Daddy.” Sirius smiled and bit their lip. “After it’s all done, then we can see if your mam wants to take Teddy or something, and have all the sex we like.”

Remus laughed as they kissed them one more time. “That sounds like a good idea. I love you too, princess.”


	17. Chapter 17

Sirius’ knee was jiggling as they sat in the courtroom next to Remus. The jury was somewhere in another room, deciding on the verdict. Twelve random strangers got to decide whether or not their husband was telling the truth about his asshole ex-boyfriend raping him. 

They had testified earlier, on meeting Fenrir in the bakery, how he hadn’t listened to Remus wanting him to leave, then again at PureFit with Teddy there. It had been frightening up on the stand like that, with the lawyer they hated questioning them, but they did it for Remus. It was all going to be worth it.

Remus’ hand went to their leg, giving it a squeeze. “You’re making me more anxious.”

“I can’t sit still. I just want to know.” Sirius gave him a glance, biting their lip.

“Me too.” Remus kissed their cheek. “It’s going to be okay princess.”

Sirius leaned into him, trusting his words. “How are you feeling?”

“Angry at the bastard and that bullshit statement.” Remus clenched his jaw.

“Yeah, it was fucking  _ bullshit _ .” Sirius’ stomach turned remembering how Fenrir had denied all of it, how he’d said Remus never said no, how he’d just played  _ hard to get _ .

“We can just hope that they see through it.”

“They will.”

Remus squeezed their leg again at the door to the room where the jury was opened. Sirius sat up straighter, squeezing Remus’ hand over their leg. It felt like they didn’t breathe at all as the jury all filed in and sat down. The judge had to talk through some scripted shit that they barely even  _ heard _ , but then the head juror sat up and Sirius felt Remus shifting next to them.

“We, the jury, find the defendant, Fenrir Greyback, guilty of three counts of causing alarm and distress, three counts of disturbing the peace, eleven counts of controlling, coercive behaviour in a domestic situation, six counts of sexual assault and three counts of rape.”

Next to them Remus let out a loud gasp, fingers digging into their leg. “Oh my god.”

“Fuck,” Sirius breathed, grabbing onto Remus’ wrist. “Yes, yes. Right? That’s good, that’s fucking good.” They couldn’t look away from the jury, eyes wide.

“Yeah. Shit.” Remus sniffed.

Sirius threw their arms around his shoulders, hugging him tight. “You did it, you did it caro.”

“This is wonderful.” Hope’s voice came from next to Remus as he buried his face in their shoulder.

“You both did a fantastic job,” Poppy patted Sirius on the shoulder.

“I’m so proud,” Sirius murmured into Remus’ ear, holding him tight.

“Fuck,” was all Remus semed to be able to say as he held on to Sirius. They didn’t hurry him along at all, just letting him lean into them, being the support he needed.

“So proud. I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Soon enough, the courtroom was emptying, and Sirius still wouldn’t let go of Remus. They kept their arm locked around his waist as they walked out, with Poppy and Hope on either side. Sirius  _ knew _ they were going to get the verdict they wanted, but now it had happened, it felt unreal.

“Teddy is staying the night with me. You need to unwind.” Hope instructed as they got into her car after Poppy had bid them farewell.

Sirius bit their lip to stifle a snicker. They knew what Hope was saying, in less words. “I think that’s a good idea, caro.”

“Yeah, you can get his things when you drop us at ours. We’ll get him in the morning.” Remus got into the passenger seat.

Sirius gave him a wide-eyed look as they got in the back of the car. They were surprised he’d agreed so easily. “Great.”

“I know neither of you will let me say otherwise.” His voice was light as he turned in his seat to smile at Sirius. Their heart soared. It really was like a weight off his shoulders, and he looked  _ so _ relieved and  _ so _ handsome.

Hope started the car. “A good, healthy sexual relationship to remind you--”

“Mam!”

Sirius laughed. “She’s not wrong!”

“Dear god.” He rolled his eyes as they started to pull away from the court house.

Hope just smiled as she drove back towards their neighbourhood. She was silent for almost half the journey before she spoke up. “I’m very proud of you both.”

“Oh, thanks Mam.” Remus turned to look at her.

“Very proud. I’m so glad you realised and found the courage to do this.”

“I mean… it’s thanks to you all, really. If you all weren’t here -- everyone -- then I wouldn’t have been able to do it.”

Sirius leaned forward and put their hand on his shoulder. “We’re here to support you, caro, but you still did it.”

“She’s proud of you too, you know?” He put a hand over theirs.

“Yes, I absolutely am, Sirius.” Hope glanced to them in the rearview mirror.

Sirius smiled. “Thank you.”

“You did a good job today, didn’t even get smart with the lawyer once.” Remus kissed their hand.

“Ha, I nearly did. When he asked me if I was reading into Fenrir’s attitude because of my own obvious biases towards you?”

“I was very proud when you bit your tongue at that.” Remus looked back at them with a smirk.

Sirius grinned broadly, loving that smirk on his face, as always. “Thank you caro.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Soon enough, they were home. Thankfully, the house wasn’t full of people this time. Mary, Luna, and Rowena were in the house sitting Teddy, and together they all gathered Teddy’s things so he could have a night with Grandma.

Mary had taken one look at Sirius and Remus and smiled. “Oh, you’ve already offered, Hope? Good. I was going to say, they need to both open up their sacral chakras.”

“Dear god.” Remus picked up Teddy. “Do you want to go with Grandma tonight?”

“Mam-ma!” He giggled as Remus kissed his cheek.

“Uncle Moony! Uncle Moony! I drew you a picture!” Ro came over waving around a paper.

Mary picked up Rowena as she squealed and thrust the paper at them both. “Alright sweetpea, you show Uncle Moony your picture and then we’re going to go home, hm?”

“‘Kay Mummy.” She nodded as Remus took the picture.

Sirius shouldered Teddy’s bag. “What is it, Uncle Moony?”

“It’s us and Teddy and Snuffles?” Remus peered at Rowena.

“YEAH!”

“It’s very good, Roro. I’ll hang it up okay?” He kissed her on the forehead.

Mary chuckled. “She was very proud of it.”

“She should be.” Remus bounced Teddy. “It’s very good.”

Rowena grinned. “YAY!”

Hope ushered all of them towards the doors. “Come on, dears, Teddy and me in the car. Mary, you Luna, and Rowena back home. Leave these two to it.”

“Did you get everything?” Remus asked as they walked towards the entryway.

“Yes, yes, we’ve got everything,” Hope said, waving her hands. “Come on.”

Sirius gave Hope Teddy’s bag as she held a hand out for it, then watched the six of them going out to the cars. They were sure they knew what Remus’ smirk in the car meant, but they were going to take a small gamble.

They took the stairs two at a time and nearly ran to the pole room, leaving the door slightly ajar in the hope Remus would notice. Inside, they stripped off--their phone on silent this time--and put on their metal collar before they knelt on the fainting couch and just waited.

About five minutes later, Sirius could hear Remus’ footsteps coming down the hall. “You’re too funny princess.”

“Funny?” Sirius didn’t move, biting their lip around a smile.

He came into the room, carrying a glass of water. “I never gave you any instructions.” Remus was grinning.

“I thought I’d be extra nice to you, Daddy.”

“Oh, extra nice huh?” Remus held out his hand. “Come here, to our bed.”

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. They didn’t expect that, but they would do what he wanted. They slipped a hand into his then stood up, letting him lead them through to the bedroom. Remus took their hand as they went next door to their room. Once he set the glass on the side table, he took out the lube before turning to Sirius with a smirk.

“Undress me.”

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius said quickly, stepping forward and starting on the buttons of Remus’ shirt. They always loved doing this, undressing him and taking their time in truly, really looking at him.

“I’m going to get you ready then you’re going to ride me.” Remus kissed their forehead.

A shiver ran down Sirius’ spine. “Ah, fuck. Yes Daddy, yeah…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah I’d like that Daddy, please.”

“Of course princess.” He ran a hand through their hair. Sirius’ eyes fluttered closed, their stomach flipping. That sounded exactly like what they wanted.

“What--what do you want me to do?”

“Well, you’ve only got my shirt off, so maybe finishing getting me out of my clothes.” Remus chuckled.

Sirius bit their lip. “Sorry, shit… I got distracted by what you were going to do,” they said quickly. They could feel their cheeks heating as they went to undo his belt, fingers circling over him through the fabric.

“Mmm, it’s okay princess.” He was still playing with their hair.

“I’ll make it up to you.” They let the buckle of his belt fall loose as they moved to his trousers, hurrying to push them down.

“It’s all right, love, really.” He kicked his trousers away.

“Underwear too?” Sirius said, fingers circling over him again.

“Mhmm.”

Sirius hurried to obey, hooking their fingers under the waistband of his underwear to pull them down. They moaned softly, looking down at him. “Mm, you’re so gorgeous Daddy.”

“You are too princess.” Remus kissed them on the lips softly before moving to sit on the bed. He shuffled back against the headboard then patted his lap. “Come here.”

They could do nothing but obey, following over to the bed and crawling onto it, laying over his lap. “Like this?”

“Mmm, straddle my thighs I think. You can ride my fingers first.” Remus picked up the lube.

“Ah, ‘kay, okay.” Sirius scrambled to sit up, turning to straddle his thighs with their hands on his shoulders. “Whatever you want, Daddy.”

“You’re being  _ so  _ good princess. You’re listening  _ so _ well.” He poured some lube onto his fingers.

Sirius bit their lip. “Daddy deserves to be treated good.”

“Yeah?” Remus hand slid around behind them and a second later a finger pressed against them softly. Sirius shifted their knees a little wider, rocking their hips back against Remus’ finger.

“Yeah. Wanna be good for you.”

“You are good for me.” Remus’ finger slowly slid into them.

“Ah, fuck.” Sirius tipped their chin back, moaning. “I love your fingers.” He responded by pressing deeper. They moaned a little sharper, hips jerking. “Fuck, please.”

“Please what, princess?” Remus smiled, easing his finger nearly out of them before pressing back in.

Sirius’ stomach flipped. “Please hurry. I want you in me, Daddy, please.”

“I’m trying princess, but you have to be ready for me.”

“Shit, yeah,” Sirius mumbled, leaning down to kiss Remus’ neck, scraping their teeth over the sensitive skin.

After a moment another finger was inside of them. “Does the feel good?”

Sirius’ hips pressed forward, rolling against the sensation and the way Remus seemed to hit every sensitive point inside them. “Fuck, ah, you know it does, you know it does Daddy.”

“I know, you make such pretty noises.”

“Ah, just for you,” Sirius moaned, biting a mark into Remus’ neck and soothing the sensitive skin with a swirl of their tongue.

“I love you so much princess.” He let out a soft breath. “You can fuck my fingers if you want.”

“Love you, love you.” Sirius straightened up, rolling their hips and delighting at the sensation as Remus held still. “Ah, feels so good.”

“Oh yeah, you feel amazing.” He watched them with wide eyes.

“Yeah? Do I?”

“So good, princess. I can’t wait for my cock to be in you though.”

Sirius bit their lip, speeding up a little, just to see Remus’ reaction, to watch the look on his face. “Am I ready?”

“Do you feel ready?” He looked breathless as he panted up at them, the flush creeping down his chest.

“Yeah, yeah I want Daddy’s cock in me.”

“Okay, stop moving your hips.” Remus squeezed their thigh with his free hand.

That was easier said than done. Sirius bit their lip, still rolling their lips. “Don’t wanna.”

“Princess, stop.” His free hand moved to their hip, trying to stop them.

Sirius groaned, shivering again as they concentrated on holding still, their eyes fluttering shut.

“Good job, princess.” Remus patted their hip as his fingers moved out of them. “Now, ride my cock.”

“Ah  _ fuck, _ yes Daddy.”

“Go ahead.” Remus took himself in his hand. Sirius put their hand over his, shifting forward to sink down onto him. “You’re so -- fuck, you’re so amazing. That feels -- ah…”

Sirius took their time, shifting their knees further apart before rising back up a little. “Ah, fuck. I love riding you.”

“I love watching you like this.” He moaned, his hips thrusting up into Sirius.

“Yeah? You like watching me lots.” Sirius decided to play up to that a little, rolling their hips against Remus’ and leaning back a little. They ran one hand up through their hair, back arching a little and  _ preening _ .

“Ah, fuck, you’re so perfect princess. I do, I -- I fuck -- I love watching you lots. It’s hard not to.” He reached for their cock. Sirius knocked his hand away, giving him a smile and batting their eyelashes.

“You—you sit back and watch, Daddy, whilst I ride your gorgeous cock.” They wrapped their own hand around their cock, stroking in time with their thrusts.

“Oh, fuck you’re so perfect. I could watch you ride me all day.” His hands rested on their thighs.

Sirius twisted their wrist, biting their lip around another wanton-sounding moan. They were playing it up just a little, so Remus could watch. The hand from their hair came down to pinch one nipple. “Yeah? I would, I would if you wanted me to.”

“There’s so much else I want to do to you though.” He groaned, closing his eyes for only a moment.

“Ah, you can do whatever you want, Daddy. You wanna—come in me? Can I come?”

“I wanna come in you, yeah. I wanna come. You can come -- come too. Fuck. Oh -- ah.  _ Fuck _ .” Remus’ hands tightened on their hips as his hips bucked up.

Sirius bit their lip even harder, relishing the feeling of Remus deep inside them. They stroked faster, thumbing over the head of their cock. “Come—come in me Daddy, please.”

“Ah, shit.” He arched up as he came.

Sirius forced themselves to keep their eyes open to watch him, drinking in the sight of Remus coming apart beneath them. God, they loved him. They moaned, feeling the warmth of him coming inside them as it pushed them over the edge of their own orgasm. “Ah! Fuck, Daddy, fuck you feel so good.”

“Yeah, oh fuck, you -- shit you too.”

“Fuck,” Sirius murmured, his praise giving them another shiver as they watched their come paint Remus’ stomach. “Fuck I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus’ eyes were still on them, a soft smile on his face.

Sirius was a little caught by the soft smile on his face and felt another spread across their lips, turning from wanton and filthy to warm and sweet at once. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Remus reached for them. “Come kiss me.”

They leaned forward, hands bracing on his chest as they kissed him softly. This was the perfect way to celebrate today.


	18. Chapter 18

Remus pulled Sirius back for another kiss once he had cleaned them both up enough to be comfortable at least until they were ready to go again. He kissed them gently, rubbing their back. “I love you more than anything.”

He couldn’t believe that Fenrir was going away to jail. It had actually happened, and it was all over. Remus wasn’t going to have to think about him again. The last few months were terrible, and stressful. At least Sirius was there, no matter how hard things got, no matter how bloody stubborn Remus could be. They were there, and they weren’t going anywhere. Neither was Teddy.

Sirius pressed a kiss to his shoulder, wrapping their arms around his middle. They squeezed him a little tighter and hummed in satisfaction. “I love you.”

“That was perfect.” He sighed. “You’re perfect.”

“So are you. That was wonderful.” They kissed his neck before straightening up. “I’m surprised you didn’t tell me off for trying to take over a bit.”

“I liked it -- don’t think about doing it all the time.” He pinched their thigh.

Sirius snickered, shivering. “Why not? I think I could step up if I really wanted. I bet I could Dom.”

“HA! No way. You are not a Dom. I’m certainly not a sub.”

“I could, totally! Remember after the KP gig? I fucked you with the plug in me and I was in control? I bet I could do that; tell you what to do.”

Remus snorted a laugh. “We’ve tried you being Dom before joking around. There’s a difference between being in control and Domming.”

Sirius bit their lip around a grin. “Oh yeah? Is there just a whole aura you exude Daddy?”

“I don’t know, why do you listen to me?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Because I don’t want to be tickled. Because I want you to be nice to me.” Sirius walked their fingers down Remus’ stomach. “Why don’t you listen to me?”

“I listen to you, but you don’t Dom. Also, I doubt me not tickling you is the only reason you listen to me.”

Sirius wriggled and sat a little straighter. “So if I told you to lie down right now?”

“Nope.”

They frowned, and Remus had to admit they looked a little stern. Maybe this was their teacher expression. “Lie down, Remus.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You’re so cute.” Remus laughed at their perplexed expression.

Sirius hit him on the chest, still trying to look stern, he imagined. “No I’m not. Why not?”

Remus snorted at their attempt. “You don’t have that  _ aura _ , I guess.”

“I do! Were you even a little bit close to obeying?”

“Not even a little.” He shook his head. “Sorry princess.”

Sirius huffed, their shoulders slumping. “Rude.”

“Aww, I’m sorry. I love you. You’re the best sub.”

“I am?” Sirius smiled, perking up almost instantly as they cuddled close again.

Remus felt like they were up to something, but put his arms around their shoulders. “You’re the best princess a Daddy could ask for.” Remus kissed their forehead.

“Mmm thank you Daddy.” Sirius cuddled a bit closer, then shifted to rest their head on his shoulder so they could press kisses to his neck. “You’re the best Daddy.”

“Oh thank you princess -- even if you want to be a Dom sometimes?” He rubbed their arm.

They snickered, taking their time kissing a path up his neck. “I don't think I do. I don’t know what I’d do with you if you did do what I told you.”

He knew  _ exactly  _ what spot Sirius was going in for to kiss. “See, that’s why you’re not a Dom, princess.”

“Whereas I bet you know exactly what to do when you’ve got me all tied up and begging for you, right?” Sirius was still weaving a line of kisses on his neck.

“I always -- mm -- always have a few options at the very least.” He sighed again.

“Yeah? Sometimes you can’t decide because you want to do everything?” They nuzzled against his ear, pressing the lightest kiss just behind it.

“Ah, yeah, everything.”

“I’d let you, Daddy,” Sirius murmured, right against his ear as they kissed that sensitive spot again, lingering. “Everything you wanted.”

“I know princess.” He cleared his throat, his fingers trailing down their back.

“Yeah?” Another kiss, scraping their teeth just a little. “That’s why you’re the Dom, right Daddy? Because I like being good for you and you like me begging for you to do all this filthy stuff to me.”

“Yes, princess.” Remus’ eyes fluttered closed for a second.

Sirius pressed their body a little closer, still pressing kisses to just behind his ear. “Yeah, Daddy?”

“I know you’re trying to get me to do something to you.” Remus scoffed.

“I’m just having fun,” Sirius murmured. “I like kissing you and talking and when your voice gets all croaky.”

“Sure, princess.” He ran his fingers through their hair.

Sirius sat back abruptly, sitting on their heels. “If we’re done here, I might go back downstairs.”

“Okay, what are you going to do there?” Remus relaxed against the headboard.

They shrugged, biting their lip around a smile. “Dunno.”

“All right then.” Remus smiled at them. “I love you.”

“You won’t be lonely up here by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t you love me back?” He gave a little pout.

Sirius grinned. “That’s nearly a princess pout,” they said, leaning in to peck a kiss to his lips. “I dunno, do I?”

“You have the best pout, I’m sure mine is second rate.” Remus sat back. “I sure hope you love me.”

“Yours is the best garbage pout, Daddy.” They but their lip, pretending to think for a moment. “I suppose I do love you. Even if you think I’m cute when I’m trying to be stern.”

“Aww, okay princess.” He laughed. “Have fun downstairs by yourself.”

Sirius shifted to the edge of the bed. “Oh, maybe I’ll have a bath. Or I could go and dance, I suppose?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Whatever you do, I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”

“What will you do up here Daddy?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” He shrugged a shoulder.

Sirius grinned, standing and stretching their arms up over their head. Remus saw the tattoo on their hip move in the light as they did. “Will it be something filthy I wished I would have stayed around for?”

“Possibly.”

They switched to stretching their hands behind their back before stepping towards the head of the bed. “Did I not ride you good enough, Daddy?”

“You rode me perfectly. You were amazing.” Remus got off the bed himself. Sirius bit their lip watching him but didn’t step back.

“Mm thank you.”

“You’re very welcome princess.” He went to his drawer, pulling out his sweats but kept it open.

Sirius trailed a bit closer, intrigued but staying just out of arm’s reach. They made a little mournful tutting noise before speaking. “Why are you getting dressed?”

“Just putting on my sweats. I think I might go down and make lunch. It’s only mid-day.” He pulled them on.

“We could skip straight to dessert if you’re thinking lurid things.” Remus felt their arms wind around his middle.

“I thought you wanted to go and do pole or something.”

Sirius just kissed the back of his neck, their fingers trailing down his stomach. “I could. Depends what Daddy wanted me to do.”

“You seemed like you really wanted to go downstairs.” He shut the drawer and stepped away from Sirius with a grin. “I understand, I’m apparently not a good enough Dom because you really wanna try.”

Sirius dug their nails in just for a moment before he stepped away. “You’re the best Dom, Daddy. I love being your princess.”

“That’s good.” Remus kissed them on the lips quickly. “See you in a bit?”

“What if I wanna stay up here now?”

“That’s fine princess.” He shrugged as he went towards the door.

“We could do something else instead of lunch?” Sirius caught him by the wrist, surprisingly quick.

“Oh, I wasn’t going to do lunch. Maybe watch TV then get lunch in a bit.” He jerked his wrist forward.

“TV is boring. Stay up here with me.” Sirius sounded like they were telling instead of asking, bless them.

“Nah.” He got out of their grip easily. They were quick on his heels, faster than him to skirt around him to stand in the bedroom door.

“Stay up here with me.”

“Aww princess, what’s the matter.” Remus laughed.

Sirius pouted. “Stay up here with me, I can think of other things we can do for lunch.”

“You’re so funny.”

“I’m not joking Daddy.”

Remus rolled his eyes before grabbing Sirius around their waist, picking them up. He just turned them around and put them back down so he could get out the door. Sirius gave a little squeal but grabbed onto him before he could turn around, wrapping their arms around him with surprising strength. “Can I help you?”

“I want you to stay up here with me.” Sirius dug their heels in. “We have the whole day and I want to shag each other senseless and live on come all day.”

“As much as you’d like to, you can’t actually survive on come alone.”

Sirius snorted, still holding him around the waist. “I can give it a bloody good try.”

“Daddy wants you to take care of yourself though.” Remus brushed their hair out of their face. “Or well, I want to make sure you’re taking good care of yourself and also take good care of you.”

They looked at him for a moment, their eyes going a little soft. “I wanna shag.”

Remus smiled, “Go get a bundle of rope.”

Sirius bit their lip. “What colour?”

“The black one. Oh, and the paddle too.”

They grinned that time, stepping back. “Yes Daddy,” they said as they skirted around, practically running through to the playroom.

Remus leaned on the doorframe, watching them go down the hall. “Quickly, princess.”

He could hear them unlocking the trunk and rifling through it then Sirius appeared back in the hallway holding the rope in one hand and the paddle in the other. Remus smiled at them and when they got close enough he again wrapped his arms around their waist and put them over his shoulder.

“Let’s go downstairs.”

Sirius gave a shriek of surprise, holding onto him and kicking their legs. “Daddy!”

“What is it princess?” He managed to walk down the stairs with them flailing a little. “Careful, you’ll fall.”

They obediently went still, nails digging slightly into his arms. “Why couldn’t we stay upstairs?”

“Because you need to have some lunch.” Remus gave them a little tap on the bottom as they got to the bottom of the stairs. He debated for a moment how he wanted to do this, then decided to grab a chair from the kitchen, so he headed that direction.

“You could’ve given me lunch upstairs,” Sirius said, and Remus could  _ hear _ the lurid grin on their lips.

“I’ll make you a salad, that can be your protein after.” He grabbed the kitchen chair and dragged it back to the living room, one arm around Sirius’ waist. “I’ll put you in the chair and you can watch something while I make you salad. You can even see me in the kitchen if I put you here.” Remus stopped.

Sirius wriggled against him, kicking their feet. “ _ Put me in the chair _ , Daddy?”

“Tie you, more like.” He slipped them off of his shoulder.

They gave a little surprised noise that made Remus’ stomach flip. “Tie me?”

“Just so you can’t go anywhere. I know you’re gagging for it.” He put his hands on their shoulders to force them into the chair. Sirius resisted just for a moment before they sank into the chair, looking up at Remus with wide eyes. 

“Whatever Daddy wants,” Sirius said, their voice quivering just a little.

“Really?” Remus was surprised with how easily they gave in as he took the rope from their hand. “Drop the paddle, princess.”

Ah, there it was. Sirius held onto the paddle and gave him a smile.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Okay then.” He grabbed their wrists. He could manage a tie even with the paddle being in the way. Sirius wasn’t making it easy for him, he was sure, because they kept wriggling and resisting.

He tied their wrists tight, even with the paddle in the way before looping the rope back to the back of the chair. “Wiggly princesses get tickles, you know?”

“You wouldn’t, Daddy,” Sirius said, tipping their chin up to look over their shoulder at him.

“Oh, I so very would.” He made sure the rope was nice and secure as he ran it back around their chest.

Sirius bit their lip as Remus heard their breath hitch. He knew they always liked the feel of rope like this. “I’ll stay still.”

“You were still bratty and didn’t listen.” Remus did one more loop around the back of the chair to their chest before he trailed it down to their thighs. The reason he asked for the black bundle was because it was the longest they had.

“About the--the paddle? I like it, I want to hold onto it.”

“I asked you to drop it, you didn’t listen.” He threaded the rope under the seat of the chair the back around their thighs.

Sirius swallowed, their thigh muscles tensing. They paused for a moment before there was a clatter as they let go of the paddle and it fell to the floor.

“Oh now you drop it.” Remus snickered as he went to tie one of their ankles to the chair.

“Mmm, you convinced me?”

“I’m still going to tickle you.”

Sirius squirmed, their eyes wide. “Please don’t, Daddy. I’ll be good. You can do whatever you like and make me wait as long as you like.”

“No.” Remus finished tying their other ankle then stood up from where he had been kneeling.

“Please Daddy, pretty please?”

“Absolutely not. You haven’t been listening since upstairs. I think you also need a reminder on who the Dom is here.” Remus smiled at them, looking all pretty tied to the chair. The black rope stood out nicely against their pale skin.

Sirius pouted, giving him their best puppy dog expression. “You’re the Dom, Daddy, you’re in charge and I’m yours to do what you want to. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“That’s right.” Remus brush the hair back from their forehead before turning to the coffee table to grab the remote.

Sirius tilted into his touch, smiling slightly. “Whatever you want Daddy, you’re the Dom, you’re in charge.”

“Mmhmm.” Remus turned the TV on and went on a hunt for something to make Sirius squirm. They made a little noise as he scrolled through.

“Daddy, what are you doing?”

“Putting something on for you to watch while I’m busy in the kitchen.” He clicked on a crudely titled movie about come and a gangbang. “Oh this looks perfect.”

“Mhmm.” Sirius’ voice sounded a little strangled.

He clicked play then set the remote down. “Have fun, I won’t be long.” He kissed them on the forehead before heading into the kitchen.


	19. Chapter 19

Sirius swallowed, looking between Remus in the kitchen, wearing only sweats, and the gangbang on the TV. Remus knew  _ exactly _ what he was doing, they were sure, because this was making Sirius’ stomach flip and every bit of blood in them flood south.

They were trying not to look, but they could  _ hear _ all the moans on the screen and couldn’t stop themselves from looking at the endless amount of come, for god’s sake.

The rope around them didn’t help either, the feeling of it holding them tight. It took them a few moments to clear their throat and call through to Remus. “I think… I think you’d like this one too, Daddy.”

“Oh yeah?” He looked over his shoulder with a smirk.

“I don’t know if you’d like the idea of  _ everyone _ co--coming on me though--fuck, shit that’s hot.” Sirius squirmed as much as they could in the chair, watching one guy on the screen getting a facial and someone else licking it off.

“Hmm, I might as long as I could tell them all what to do.” He picked up the bowl and Sirius could hear him digging in the cutlery drawer.

“Yeah? You could tell them to do whatever you wanted, Daddy. Like you did with Kingsley, remember?” Sirius stomach flipped remembering that day.

“Yeah I remember.” Remus came back through with a bowl and a fork. “What would you like me to tell them to do to you?” He set the salad down then moved the chair right next to the sofa.

Sirius jutted their chin towards the television, where the man was just getting come on for what had to be the tenth time, Christ. They weren’t sure if they could  _ speak _ .

“Tell me.” Remus sat on the sofa, picking up the bowl.

“You could…” Sirius swallowed, looking to Remus, then the screen, then back again. “You could tie me down and tell--tell them to come on me whilst you fucked me too.”

“You’d really like that.” Remus stabbed the fork into the bowl before lifting the fork to Sirius’ mouth. “After or… during I guess… I could feed you their come.”

Sirius ate the salad and swallowed hard, as if they had a choice with the way they were tied. “Ye-yeah, you could. Would you let them come in my mouth? Or just--just on me.”

“Just on you.” Remus ate some of the salad. “You’d look so pretty.”

“Yeah,” Sirius groaned, shifting their hips to try and get some kind of relief from their very insistent erection. “All on my chest and f--face and in my hair.”

“Mmm, so pretty.” Remus fed them another forkful.

“Yeah,” Sirius murmured, letting their lips linger around the fork for a moment.

“Maybe one person could fuck your mouth while another sucked your cock and I fucked you.” Remus sounded so bloody casual as he ate the damn salad.

Sirius squirmed, imagining how overwhelming the pleasure would be, how they wouldn’t be able to do anything but lie there and take it. “Fuck… yeah, yeah, shit.”

“I could tie you up. That way you wouldn’t be too squirmy.” Remus gave them another forkful.

“We’d get come all over the ropes.”

“That’s okay. It’d look pretty.” Remus assured them.

“Especially these ones, right?” Sirius glanced down at themselves, the black ropes stark against their skin.

“Yeah, they already look nice on your skin. The come would make it even better.” He hummed, setting the bowl down.

Sirius watched him carefully. “Would Daddy let me come too?”

“Only after we all had our fun princess.”

“Even if I asked really nicely?”

“Even then.” Remus started to untie the rope.

Sirius pouted, watching his fingers work, their breath hitching every time they brushed against skin. “That’s mean.”

“You love it though.” He bent down to get the knots undone from their ankles.

“I do, I love you Daddy, you’re so hot.”

“Thank you princess. You’re so sexy.” He held out his hand to them after standing back up. They took his hand, lacing their fingers as they stood up. Remus tugged them to the sofa, making sure they ended up on his lap.

Sirius settled with their knees either side of his thighs, their hands on his shoulders. “Hi Daddy.”

“We’re not done watching the movie.” Remus moved them so they could see the screen. Sirius bit their lip, watching. Christ, the main guy was just  _ covered _ in come and it was frankly ridiculous. “What do you think he feels like?”

Sirius squirmed, looking at the screen and feeling their own stomach flip. “Fucking wonderful.”

“He looks like he listens real well.”

“Is that what happens? I wanna listen and be good.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens.” Remus wrapped a hand around them and started to stroke them slowly.

Sirius groaned, their hips shifting. “Fuck… yeah. God look at him.”

“Yeah.” Remus sucked at a spot on their neck, his hand moving a little faster.

“Yeah… ah, I want that.” Sirius tipped their head to the side to give him better access.

“You wanna be covered in all that come? You’d look so pretty.” Remus thumbed over the head of their cock.

Sirius gave a moan, reaching back to run a hand through Remus’ hair. “Yeah, fuck I do. I’d be sad it—it wasn’t all yours.”

“Aww, I know, but I’d come on you plenty.” Remus continued to stroke them and kissed their neck once more. “I’d come all over your face so it dripped down your chin and got all over your pretty lips.”

“Oh fuck,” Sirius blurted, moaning sharply. “Yeah, yes Daddy, please.”

“You can come when you want.” He didn’t stop stroking them. “I’d rub my cock over your lips and slip it in your mouth for a moment.”

Sirius closed their eyes, the scene on the television too much for the moment as they readily imagined Remus doing as he described. “Fuck, please, yes.”

“My come all over your face and in your mouth.” Remus gripped them firmer.

“Yeah, yes please, fuck.” Sirius moaned, the idea of it tipping them over the edge. They came over Remus’ hand, biting their lip hard.

“Mmm, so good princess.” Remus kissed them on the cheek as they bucked up into his hand. Sirius practically  _ whimpered _ , their body tensing and shivering with their orgasm. “You’re so perfect. I love you.” When Sirius stopped coming, Remus brought his hand up to their mouth. “Lick.”

Sirius obeyed immediately, their tongue sweeping over their own come across his fingers. He hummed in response.

“So good princess.”

“Mmmhm.” Sirius held his wrist, licking at the come dripping down his palm, lapping at his fingers like the sweetest treat. Well, not quite. It would be better if it were Remus’ come but it was his fingers, so still divine.

“All done.” Remus pulled his hand back.

A little mournful noise slipped out of their lips as Sirius gripped his wrist tighter, trying to pull his hand back towards them. “I missed a bit.”

“You didn’t.” Remus laughed.

Sirius grumbled, leaning back against him and giving his middle finger a long lick. “Am I not allowed your fingers any more, Daddy?”

“Of course you are, but right now, you’re done.” Remus’ other hand came to their side, tickling them.

“Ah! No! No stop!” Sirius shrieked and squealed, writhing against him and trying to climb off his lap.

Remus surprisingly let them up, sitting back on the sofa with a smug look. Sirius scrambled to the other side of the sofa, giving him a look.

“Daddy, that’s the ultimate betrayal.”

“You were being a brat. You deserved it.” Remus turned the TV off as the porn had come to an end.

“I just like Daddy’s fingers.” Sirius tucked their legs up, watching him carefully, ready to climb over the back of the sofa and run.

“I know, but I said you were done then.”

“Fine.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“But now you’ve tickled me so I’m being good again, right?” Sirius smiled, wrapping their arms around their legs.

“You got tickled for two seconds.” Remus stood up.

“That sounds like enough to me Daddy.”

“I didn’t realize you made that choice.” He picked up the bowl.

“Just giving Daddy my opinion. You know princesses are opinionated.”

“Oh, do I ever.” Remus put his hand on the back of the chair and dragged it behind him as he went towards the kitchen.

Sirius crawled to the closer end of the sofa, peering over the back of it to watch Remus in the kitchen. Jesus he looked so good just in sweats with his hair all ruffled like that. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning up our lunch.”

“The extra protein really made a difference, Daddy.”

“I’m sure it did.” Remus laughed as he turned the sink on. Sirius watched him, wondering if he was making them wait or whether he wasn’t interested in getting off.

“Dorcas always makes sure Marly drinks her smoothies, you always make sure I get enough protein.”

“I know princess.”

“Surely the dishes can wait.” Sirius folded their arms on the back of the sofa and rested their chin on them.

“You like making sure that everything is all clean. Just making my princess happy.” Remus looked over his shoulder at them.

Sirius bit their lip around a smile. “I do, but not when we have a childless house and an afternoon of sex planned.”

Remus didn’t reply, he just continued to clean up their things. After a long moment, Sirius climbed off the sofa and padded through to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. Their stubborn husband didn’t even turn around to look at them.

“The kitchen looks pretty spotless to me Daddy.”

“You think so?” He turned off the tap. “We should have a snack.”

“We just had lunch.”

“I know, but you know I love something sweet.” Remus went towards the fridge.

Sirius watched him, biting their lip. “What is Daddy plotting?”

“I’m just trying to have something sweet.” He laughed, taking out the pint of his ice cream.

“I’m going to go put clothes on, if you’re having ice cream.”

“No you’re not.” Remus shook his head as he went to grab a spoon.

Sirius paused. “I’m not?”

“I didn’t say you could put your clothes on.”

They bit their lip, wondering how far Remus’ Daddy tendencies went. They batted their eyelashes at him. “What if I’m cold, Daddy?”

“You’re not.” Remus went back towards the living room. “You can use the blanket if you need to.”

“If you’re just having ice cream why do I need to be naked?” Sirius asked as they followed him through towards the sofa.

“Because I want you naked.” Remus sat down.

A shiver ran through Sirius at that. Remus was in his prime like this, so matter of fact and telling them just what to do. They bit their lip harder and climbed onto the sofa next to him, pulling the blanket around their shoulders. “It’s a good job I’m not shy about my body, right Daddy?”

“Right princess.” Remus kissed them softly. “You shouldn’t be, it’s so pretty.” He opened the ice cream and dug in.

Sirius squirmed a little at the praise, stretching out a little. “Yeah?”

“Yes princess. It’s so pretty, I could look at it all the time. I mean, I do look at it all the time.” He ate a spoonful of ice cream, looking a little thoughtful.

“That’s true. You do like looking at me. I know you like my clothes too but me naked is your favourite.”

“Absolutely.” Remus agreed, still eating his ice cream.

“You look like you’re thinking of something.”

“Just you.”

“Just me? Just looking at me.” Sirius stretched out, the blankets slipping to the side as they sprawled on their back.

“Mmm, yep.” He grinned, relaxing against his seat.

Sirius bit their lip. They knew they would always struggle to tempt him because he was so stubborn, but it was still fun to try. “Can I have some ice cream?”

“Hmm, let me think.” He looked into his pint. “There’s not much left.”

“I can lick the spoon clean?” Sirius grinned, shifting to the side and crawling over to him.

“You suddenly want something sweet? I thought you weren’t hungry anymore.” Remus scraped the pint.

“I do. I didn’t think I did but now I’m hungry watching you.” They pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Pretty please?”

Remus held out the last bit of ice cream on the spoon to them. “Okay.”

Sirius smiled, half surprised he’d actually given them his precious ice cream, and leaned forward to eat it off the spoon, taking their time and relishing it.

“Is it good?”

“Mmm, very good.” Sirius closed their eyes, licking a bit of it from their lower lip.

“Good.” Remus kissed them on the lips before standing up again. “I’ll go put this away.”

Sirius groaned, flopping into the sofa. “Why are you a neat freak all of a sudden when we could be getting off?”

Remus just chuckled as he went towards the kitchen once more. Sirius stayed on their side with their face in the cushions, giving another groan. “You poor thing.”

“I just can’t believe you’re using our child-free evening to tidy,” Sirius grumbled, voice muffled by the cushions.

“Poor princess.” Remus’ voice came closer to them.

“Exactly.”


	20. Chapter 20

Remus laughed, looking at Sirius’ naked back to him. They were curled up on the sofa, and Remus was sure that Sirius was pouting. “You’re so sad.” He picked up the paddle, trying to be as quiet as he could.

Sirius thankfully didn’t move from where they were half nuzzled into the cushions. “False advertising, Remus,” they said, sounding a little more mischievous. “Here I was thinking we’d have a day of sex and now we’re deep cleaning.”

“Yeah,  _ Sirius _ , maybe we should do some deep cleaning of the bathroom. Our tub could use a good scrubbing.” He moved a little closer to them.

“Hmm. Depends if I get to wear a sexy maid outfit or not,” Sirius said, snickering.

“Sadly I never borrowed that from Marly.”

“Sad. I could wear my rainbow shorts and a pretty harness and you could tell me how I’ve done a good job.”

“That is one way to clean. Though it seems like you’ve ended the scene, calling me Remus and all. So, maybe we both just put our sweats on and get cleaning.” He grinned, standing near them.

Sirius made a little strangled noise and scrambled up onto their knees. “I didn’t mean that!” They gave him a wide-eyed look, not noticing the paddle in his hand. “Daddy, I didn’t mean that Daddy. It just slipped out Daddy, I swear.”

“Oh, are you sure because we could go back upstairs and clean, no problem. It’d probably be easier without Teddy getting into mischief.” Remus put his hands behind his back.

“No, no. I’m sure Daddy, I’m sure. I’ll do whatever you want, I don’t wanna stop. I’m sorry I won’t call you that, I’m sorry.” Sirius held their hands out to him, looking pretty repentant.

“We could get  _ a lot _ done, hmm? It’d probably be more productive than me spanking you til you come again then me coming all over your face. I was thinking after we could nap then I could eat you out then fuck you again before we took a bath and got high before dinner. We could have some nice sweet sex after that. But, I think you’re right, we should do the deep cleaning. It’s a good idea.” Remus nodded.

Sirius shook their head and climbed off the sofa, sinking to their knees in front of him. “I wanna do what you said, I wanna get off with you and get high and you can come on my face and spank me as hard as you like. I don’t wanna do housework, please Daddy, I’m sorry I was grumpy.” They reached out and ran their hands up his thighs. “I’ll be good and grateful and sweet and do what Daddy wants.”

Remus tried his best not to smile down at them, feeling a tiny bit bad for teasing them so much… only a tiny bit… “Okay, let’s go clean then!”

“Daddy!” Sirius pouted. “You’re teasing.”

“I am?” He pretended to be shocked, letting out a fake gasp. “I thought you loved cleaning.”

“Not when I’d rather be like this,” Sirius murmured, leaning in to mouth over Remus through his sweats.

Remus stepped back, even though he really didn’t want to. “I didn’t say you could touch.”

Sirius groaned, leaning forward a little to try and chase him. “I’m sorry Daddy, I’ll be good.”

“Then why can’t you listen?”

They paused for a moment before biting their lip and standing up, as elegant as ever. “Okay, I’ll listen.”

“You will? I’m not going to have to tickle you?” Remus sat down on the sofa, putting the paddle down next to him.

Sirius shook their head, staying standing. “I’ll go and clean the bathroom?”

“No, lay across my lap.”

They hesitated for just a moment before climbing onto the sofa and sprawling across his lap. “Good princess.” Remus pet their hair. Sirius gave a little hum of appreciation, stretching their neck. “Are you happy now?”

“Mhmm. This is one of my favourite places.”

“I know.” He twirled his fingers through their hair.

Sirius shifted, probably getting comfortable. They had their arms pillowed under their head but just stayed still and let Remus touch. He picked up the paddle, rubbing it gently against their arse. They reacted immediately, arching their hips up towards the sensation. 

“It’s been a long time since I spanked you, hasn’t it?” He played with their hair.

“Yeah, it has,” they murmured, a shiver going up their spine.

“How much do you love getting spanked?” Remus asked before giving them the lightest tap he could manage.

Sirius made a soft little noise of pleasure. “Ah, so much, Daddy, so much.”

“You like having my name on your arse, don’t you?” Remus hit them harder, watching the impact against the pale flesh.

“Yeah--yeah you know I do. Like all your marks.”

“I know you do princess.” He hit them quickly three more times.

Sirius arched and shivered at every impact, letting out a sharp moan at the third. “Ah fuck, fuck, I do.”

“Yeah? You make the best noise like this. You look the best like this.” He didn’t stop hitting them as he spoke.

“Ahh, I like it--like it like this. Your name on me.”

Remus’ reply was just harder slaps with the paddle. He watched Sirius squirm a little as he stopped the hits for a moment. They were panting hard and the letters were already turning red on their thighs. Sirius arched and writhed, their hands stretching out above their head to dig into the cushions. 

“Is it--it is all red?”

Remus smiled as he ran his free hand down their back. “Yeah, it’s all red. Do you want more princess?”

Sirius shivered, their breath hitching. “Whatever Daddy wants.”

He spanked them again. “I asked you what you want right now.” Another whack. “Tell me what you want.”

“ _ Ah, _ fuck. Yes, please, Daddy, I want more.”

“Thank you princess.” He went back to hitting them over and over and over, not stopping.

Sirius gasped with every smack, squirming and wriggling as they clenched their fingers into the cushions. “Ohh, fuck--fuck. Thank you--thank you.”

“Princess, you’re so hard again.” Remus hit them a few more times before he paused for a moment.

“Ah, I can’t--can’t help it when you spank me like this,” Sirius mumbled, pressing their hips forward so Remus could feel their cock against his thigh.

“I know.” Remus began to spank them again. “Do you want to get off?”

Sirius whimpered, rolling their hips against his thigh. “If you’ll let me.”

“Yes princess, you can get off.”

“Can I touch myself?” Sirius arched their back again, panting a little.

“Please do.” Remus didn’t let up his strikes, watching the flesh turn redder and redder. Sirius just groaned as they reached beneath themselves to begin stroking their cock. Remus could see their arm moving quickly, their hips bucking and grinding into their own hand.

He tried to ignore his own insistently hard cock as he continued to spank them. Remus needed to take care of Sirius first. 

“Ahh, I’m gonna come--ah fuck--”

“Come princess.” Remus gave them one more whack before Sirius’ body tensed up. They let out a sharp moan, their body tightening in that telltale way, and Remus felt the warmth of their come against his thigh. “Shit, you’re so pretty princess.”

“Fuck, oh fuck,” Sirius mumbled to themselves, still stroking through their orgasm, shuddering.

“You did so well princess.” Remus trailed his fingers up and down their back.

Sirius groaned, pressing up onto their hands then shifting back to kiss the outside of Remus’ thigh. “Thank you Daddy.”

“You’re so welcome princess. I’m so proud of you.” Remus smiled down at them. “Are you okay?”

“Mmm, I’m so good. Spoiled rotten,” Sirius murmured, tilting their head to the side to look up at him. “Can I be good to you Daddy?”

“Yes princess.” He played with their hair. Sirius didn’t say anything further, just leaned back to mouth over Remus through his sweats.

“Daddy, you’re so hard,” they all-but whispered, their tongue curling over the head through the fabric.

A moan slipped from Remus’ mouth as he felt the warmth of their tongue over his cock. “I’m so hard for you princess. You got me so worked up.”

“Me letting you spank me and coming in your lap gets you all worked up, Daddy?” Sirius slipped between his legs, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over his cock.

“Yeah, just watching you like that gets me so hard.” He lifted his hips towards Sirius’ kisses.

“It’s a shame we’re not in the playroom, so you could see your name all over my arse whilst I went down on you,” Sirius murmured, hooking their fingers under the waistband of his sweats.

“Mmm, I know, we’re not moving now though.” Remus helped the best he could to get the sweats down. Sirius only pulled them halfway down Remus’ thighs before they moved up to press more kisses over the bare flesh, swirling their tongue but not  _ quite _ taking him into their mouth. He cupped their cheek, brushing a thumb over their cheekbone. Sirius smiled up at him, holding his gaze as they swept a broad lick up the underside then teased over the slit. Remus’ fingers slid up into their hair, pushing them down. “Princess…”

“Mmmm?” Sirius let out a breath through their nose, their jaw relaxing to take him in. 

Remus didn’t say anything as he pushed them further down before pulling them back up, but not all the way off, by their hair. Sirius gave a moan as if they really loved this part, their tongue trailing on the way up. Their hands were resting on Remus’ thighs, and kept creeping forward, perhaps not sure if they were allowed to touch.

With a moan, Remus’ fingers gripped harder as he tipped his hips forwards, hoping they’d get the hint that they could touch. Remus felt like he couldn’t use his words at the moment. Sirius seemed to understand, though, because they moved one hand to wrap around the base of Remus’ cock, the other trailing nails up his inner thigh. Their mouth felt wonderful around him, their tongue undulating as they hollowed their cheeks.

His eyes closed, letting Sirius do as they pleased now and getting completely lost in sensation. “Princess.” Remus gasped as they seemed to suck harder.

Sirius moaned in response, their other hand coming up to fondle his balls as they bobbed their head.

“Shit, oh fuck.” Remus closed his eyes. “Fuck -- I… shit you’re so good.” He forced his eyes back open to watch them.

“Mmmhmm.” Sirius took him in deeper, their fingers massaging his balls as they gave a particularly hard suck.

“Pull off. I want to - want to come on your f-face.” He tugged their head back by their hair. Sirius had to obey with the way he held them tight, but they looked up at him with warm grey eyes and let their tongue loll out over their bottom lip as they continued stroking him.

It only took Remus a few strokes before he came over their tongue and chin, his climax nearly taking him by surprise. “Shit. Fuck, princess… oh god.”

Sirius’ lips stretched into a smile, their eyes shut--thankfully, after that one near-miss--as they shivered. “Mmmm, thank you Daddy.”

Remus gave a shudder as they stopped stroking him. He leaned forward and gathered the come on their chin with his fingers. “You’re welcome princess. You’re amazing.”

“Mmhm.” Sirius’ tongue swirled over the tips of his fingers before they began to suck them clean.

His cock gave a hopeful twitch, even though he had just came. “You’re so beautiful.”

Sirius pulled back, grinning broadly. “Even with your come all over me?”

“Oh yes, especially. Come here, we can cuddle and have a little nap.” Remus moved to stretch across the sofa.

“That sounds wonderful,” Sirius murmured, climbing up onto the sofa next to him.

“Are you okay?” Remus kissed their temple as he pulled the blanket over them both.

Sirius nestled against his side, their arm slung across his waist. “Very. A bit floaty because I sort of forgot to breathe, but good. So good.”

“You forgot to breathe, princess.” Remus snuggled them close, playing with their hair. “Was there anything you didn’t like?”

“No, I liked it all. My arse is sore.” They were silent for a moment. “I was genuinely worried I’d upset you when I said Remus and not Daddy. I don’t know why I did that.”

Remus frowned, fingers still combing through their hair. “It takes a lot more to upset me than that.” He kissed their forehead.

“Okay. I’m glad.” Sirius seemed to let out a big breath, cuddled right up to him. “I love you.”

He smiled then had a sudden realization. “Sirius, Fenrir is going to be in jail for  _ years.” _

Sirius nodded, biting their lip. “Years, caro. You won’t need to worry about him again.”

“20 fucking years.” He let out a long breath. “I love you, I’m so happy that everything led to this, even if it was hard.”

“Yeah… I’m so proud of you for doing that. Two decades. That’s so far away, we never have to think about it.”

Remus nodded, closing his eyes with yawn. “Mmm, no more busting into my job and no more anxiety spirals due to that happening. Not that I’m cured and all better by him going away, but it fucking helps.”

“Exactly. No walking down the street worrying you’ll see him.” Sirius kissed his cheek. “You know he’s paying for what he did.”

“Mmm, yes. Let’s enjoy the rest of the afternoon… after we nap.” He held them a little tighter. “I love you my pearl.”

“I love you too, my Austen heroine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! This is the last of the long instalments, but we have a few more shorter one shots varying in length, theme and timeframe!


End file.
